I was so ashamed at myself today.. of how I acted. I was complaining and grumbling because I had to help my brother in applying to universities. I had such a bad attitude..and I could have smacked myself for the way I've acted. I don't want my heart to become calloused because of what I may hear on the news or what I read and see on-line. People say the opposite of love is hate. I think the opposite of love is selfishness. Not a single person can love if they are constantly focused on themselves/want to please themselves only. There's just no room to love anyone if I'm selfish like that and there is simply no time given to others nor sacrifice for another human being. I was selfish of my time and of helping family.. and then I remembered.."But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." 1 Timothy 5:8 KJV. Infidel meaning..an 'unbeliever'.
And I'm thinking..seriously, Father? I am worse than an unbeliever..?
I absolutely was disgusted with myself. I've asked for forgiveness and am striving to repent. I want You holy Father..to transform my heart..and my mindset..to one that freely and selfLESSly loves others..and You regardless if they give me attitude, regardless if I am insulted, regardless of how I may feel at the moment. I'm sorry I failed You, Holy Father.. I'm so sorry.. I wish I could take all those selfish, loveless moments back..but I can't. All I can do now is to move forward, trust in You, and replace those moments with a loving heart in the present. My heart breaks for the way I've acted..and You say that when we confess to others, we may be healed.
Holy Father..please help me to die to myself.. to die to my old ways, to my 'old man' before I accepted Your Son into my life, to my selfishness, and to my attitude..
Please soften my heart and transform me into the likeness of Your Son. To love like Him..because there's no way that I can give a single percent of the type of selfless agape love that You freely give to everyone.
Brothers and sisters.. I could use your prayers. I don't need condemnation. I am forgiven by the grace and precious blood of my Saviour Jesus Christ. I am His beautiful work-in-progress..and I refuse to give up on my faith. I just want to change..
And I'm thinking..seriously, Father? I am worse than an unbeliever..?
I absolutely was disgusted with myself. I've asked for forgiveness and am striving to repent. I want You holy Father..to transform my heart..and my mindset..to one that freely and selfLESSly loves others..and You regardless if they give me attitude, regardless if I am insulted, regardless of how I may feel at the moment. I'm sorry I failed You, Holy Father.. I'm so sorry.. I wish I could take all those selfish, loveless moments back..but I can't. All I can do now is to move forward, trust in You, and replace those moments with a loving heart in the present. My heart breaks for the way I've acted..and You say that when we confess to others, we may be healed.
Holy Father..please help me to die to myself.. to die to my old ways, to my 'old man' before I accepted Your Son into my life, to my selfishness, and to my attitude..
Please soften my heart and transform me into the likeness of Your Son. To love like Him..because there's no way that I can give a single percent of the type of selfless agape love that You freely give to everyone.
Brothers and sisters.. I could use your prayers. I don't need condemnation. I am forgiven by the grace and precious blood of my Saviour Jesus Christ. I am His beautiful work-in-progress..and I refuse to give up on my faith. I just want to change..