Dear Lord,
I know that you have been working hard on my life over the last couple of months. I know that you are changing me into something beautiful, something more than I ever thought I could be.
I guess the hardest thing about my life is that I never thought that this would be me. I am still unsure somedays if this is really life. Things have happened, people have changed and I guess so have I. I know that you have never changed but my perseption of you has. Or maybe it is not my perseption of you that has changed but my understanding of who I am and who you are in relation to me.
I am not sure if this really makes sense. I guess I always thought that I was in a silent relationship with you. That you left me to deal with all the dramas and the problems I have been facing. That you would never bother to help me so I have to do it all alone. As I have all alone in most of my travels over the last couple of years I figured that was the way it was meant to be. I sort out people that I thought were like me. People who needed you but couldn't really find you. People that you let go off on a tangent. People's whose life didn't turn out right. Somehow I took comfort in underachieving in the hope that one day this would all make sense.
But now I know I was wrong. My view of life was rather selfish. It still is. It is not easy living anyones life and I should not take it for granted that I am the only one. I am not the only one who can do this job but I am the one you called to be here right now. To be with the people here, to help them and they, in turn, help me. I am not the answer to all the problems. You didn't ask me to carry the burden of my life but to trust you and your goodness. To pray, to know the Holy Spirit, to love you accordingly and walk every day of my life with you. You didn't call me to the easy life but you did call me to my life in you.
I pray that you will forgive me this. I know that you have been with me in everything. You have broken me completely and shattered every part of me so that I could see what I once thought was right was actually. My motives, my selfishness, has been apparent to many yet I was blinded to my own sin. I pray for your forgiveness.
I know Lord, that in this lifetime, I will see your goodness come to pass. That the prayers that I have prayed many times will be answered to your glory not mine. It is not my duty to answer my prayers but to diligently do your work as you open doors and close them. As you close them Lord, remind me that it is all for your glory and that I can leave them. If they are to be reopened you will do so in your timing.
Thank you for your love and forgiveness.
In Jesus Christ.
Amen
I know that you have been working hard on my life over the last couple of months. I know that you are changing me into something beautiful, something more than I ever thought I could be.
I guess the hardest thing about my life is that I never thought that this would be me. I am still unsure somedays if this is really life. Things have happened, people have changed and I guess so have I. I know that you have never changed but my perseption of you has. Or maybe it is not my perseption of you that has changed but my understanding of who I am and who you are in relation to me.
I am not sure if this really makes sense. I guess I always thought that I was in a silent relationship with you. That you left me to deal with all the dramas and the problems I have been facing. That you would never bother to help me so I have to do it all alone. As I have all alone in most of my travels over the last couple of years I figured that was the way it was meant to be. I sort out people that I thought were like me. People who needed you but couldn't really find you. People that you let go off on a tangent. People's whose life didn't turn out right. Somehow I took comfort in underachieving in the hope that one day this would all make sense.
But now I know I was wrong. My view of life was rather selfish. It still is. It is not easy living anyones life and I should not take it for granted that I am the only one. I am not the only one who can do this job but I am the one you called to be here right now. To be with the people here, to help them and they, in turn, help me. I am not the answer to all the problems. You didn't ask me to carry the burden of my life but to trust you and your goodness. To pray, to know the Holy Spirit, to love you accordingly and walk every day of my life with you. You didn't call me to the easy life but you did call me to my life in you.
I pray that you will forgive me this. I know that you have been with me in everything. You have broken me completely and shattered every part of me so that I could see what I once thought was right was actually. My motives, my selfishness, has been apparent to many yet I was blinded to my own sin. I pray for your forgiveness.
I know Lord, that in this lifetime, I will see your goodness come to pass. That the prayers that I have prayed many times will be answered to your glory not mine. It is not my duty to answer my prayers but to diligently do your work as you open doors and close them. As you close them Lord, remind me that it is all for your glory and that I can leave them. If they are to be reopened you will do so in your timing.
Thank you for your love and forgiveness.
In Jesus Christ.
Amen