I was just doing some random thinking and thought I would add them to my blog. Besides, who doesn't want to take a peek into Saucy's brain and see what's on his mind? Come on, I know you do!
I finally think that healing is taking place in my life. I'm not talking about being broken because God is still "taking my world apart" as the song goes. This time it isn't the loss of my personal belongings, but matters of the heart. So now you can add heartbroken onto the list of being physically and spiritually broken.
But when I say healing is taking place, I find myself stepping into the "acceptance" arena of dealing with grief. Like the times of losing my mind because I'm filled with so much pain, sadness and anger are no longer a part of my life.
Recently I've been finding myself spending a lot more time with God. More time praying, studying His word and just being more satisified in Him. I've been taking God's promises to heart a lot more. And because of this, it's taking me to new places in my faith. I've been losing the desire to write horror novels and have been pondering becoming a pastor once again.
But spending more time with God hasn't taken away my desire to date. Being 24 and single is extremely hard on me because there is a need within myself to have someone love me. I've never had too much love in my life and too many people easily fall out of love with me. I have no clue why. It's as if love is conditional and I don't meet other's conditions to be "good enough" for their love and affection. This is how I feel, though it may not be true. I just need to be loved, end of discussion. Maybe with prayer God will fulfill that desire of my heart and bring someone wonderful into my life. Maybe part of it is my moving around so much. Going from Michigan, to Oregon and down to Texas has been hard on me and it's impossible to settle down with a relationship if I'm all over the map. And now I want to get back to Michigan so badly and be with my friends and church family, so I don't think I'll be meeting a nice Texas girl.
There was a time in my life where I was happy being single and satisfied with it. But those times are over. It's as if my dad dying left a huge hole in my heart and tore a huge part of me away. Someone once told me that where God closes doors, He also opens windows. Which means that my dad might be gone, but He'll give me someone to not take his place, but replace the love I miss so much.
It's hard to explain, but these are just a few thoughts roaming around my head. Thank-you, constant reader, for dealing with the garbage in my head
I finally think that healing is taking place in my life. I'm not talking about being broken because God is still "taking my world apart" as the song goes. This time it isn't the loss of my personal belongings, but matters of the heart. So now you can add heartbroken onto the list of being physically and spiritually broken.
But when I say healing is taking place, I find myself stepping into the "acceptance" arena of dealing with grief. Like the times of losing my mind because I'm filled with so much pain, sadness and anger are no longer a part of my life.
Recently I've been finding myself spending a lot more time with God. More time praying, studying His word and just being more satisified in Him. I've been taking God's promises to heart a lot more. And because of this, it's taking me to new places in my faith. I've been losing the desire to write horror novels and have been pondering becoming a pastor once again.
But spending more time with God hasn't taken away my desire to date. Being 24 and single is extremely hard on me because there is a need within myself to have someone love me. I've never had too much love in my life and too many people easily fall out of love with me. I have no clue why. It's as if love is conditional and I don't meet other's conditions to be "good enough" for their love and affection. This is how I feel, though it may not be true. I just need to be loved, end of discussion. Maybe with prayer God will fulfill that desire of my heart and bring someone wonderful into my life. Maybe part of it is my moving around so much. Going from Michigan, to Oregon and down to Texas has been hard on me and it's impossible to settle down with a relationship if I'm all over the map. And now I want to get back to Michigan so badly and be with my friends and church family, so I don't think I'll be meeting a nice Texas girl.
There was a time in my life where I was happy being single and satisfied with it. But those times are over. It's as if my dad dying left a huge hole in my heart and tore a huge part of me away. Someone once told me that where God closes doors, He also opens windows. Which means that my dad might be gone, but He'll give me someone to not take his place, but replace the love I miss so much.
It's hard to explain, but these are just a few thoughts roaming around my head. Thank-you, constant reader, for dealing with the garbage in my head