I suppose I should be writing an “end of the year” summary, however something has been on my mind for some time that is what I’ll pick up on here, now. It’s just that I’ve been busy, living life doesn’t lend much time to writing.
I’ve been tossed back and forth with the waves of indecision, and still am not any closer to making a firm decision. It’s about whether here or there. I suppose I should fast about it, I haven’t like totally. It is worth that kind of response though.. This is one of the bigger decisions a Christian can make.
It’s especially hard since I have a certain type of person for a husband. This can make this a nightmare, where it possibly didn’t have to be that “bad”.
3 things are majorly important to me- “righteousness“, “justice” and the charismatic…I think in that order as well.. I have it firmly established that I wouldn’t become a member somewhere that doesn’t preach the real gospel, one that includes repentance and turning from sin. Nor would I sit with one that doesn’t teach this on a regular basis, certainly not one that doesn’t speak to it and lets “greasy grace” abound.
“Justice” as in caring about and actively reaching out to/speaking to the needs of the needy, this is the second area of importance to me. It won’t anger me and cause me to be as indignant as the first point, yet it can be more like a nagging uncomfortableness that never sits right.. It can keep eating at and needling me. I suppose because it’s something connected to my calling/ministry.
The third I used to think was more a priority, now I think I have placed it better in the order of things. I have learned over the years through experience and observation that though it is important one can still be a “functioning” Christian without it, unlike you can’t have the Gospel without repentance. I’ve found I have more in common with Christians from other denominations who preach/believe/live the “straight” gospel , believe God changes a life and doesn’t disregard sin I have more fellowship (deep down) with these type people than Charismatic’s who I can chat with about the so called “deep or high things” but who don’t care about righteousness, and Gods heart for holiness, about how repentance & grace mean to turn from sin (grace is the power to do so, not just forgiveness).
So, I would rather be around “dry” Baptists or Presbyterians who are serious for Jesus, than spiritual Charismatic’s who are living loose lives and or excuse it in others.
The optimal would be a place with all 3. I suppose I’d have to move to another state to find that… (at least from what I know). Seems the best is 2 out of 3 plus whatever side things. I feel so torn though, how can I give anything up? Ha, I wish I was in revival again, but in the city….
Maybe one day in Heaven, but now back to reality.
I hate, hate, hate, being put in this position! Yet when someone abdicates, where does it fall? Then of course one way or another I am going to get garbage dumped on me at some point in time- so I better make a decision I can stand on and believe in enough to fight for, if necessary. (won’t focus on this point here).
This is about our future, about future life, about future anointing, ministry, relationships & connections, maybe it is about even something greater than us and our future’s (I’m sure it is but down want to think too deep on that one). There are 5 of us, 5 lives in the balance…. Maybe lives in the balance of others that those 5 will effect…
Makes me soo mad, that they think I don’t take it seriously just cause I am not them (and thereby view life and methods as them). Well I have to do what I have to and what I believe is best all around and God’s will…
Comparison time (as if that will help anything):
1 for the most part we can just jump in, since we already know a bunch of people there- including the pastor and a couple close to us are top leaders again. The other we have to start all over again, start from scratch again. Get to know all new people (although it’s not like there are a ton of them)…
However this new place, we seem to have connected and flow pretty quick- agreement of minds in spirit I guess. I have already had some great conservations, edifying getting a lot out of that. And I see it has been the same for the rest (OK not the baby). This is a big deal for my other half… although he is great at being social and connecting at a surface level- usually it’s a rare thing for him to get something” out of an encounter. I mean like that people that make him think/learn/that he can receive from.
For me it’s not that, but mostly It takes a long time for me to feel comfortable, to open up enough to get beyond small talk and chit chat. It’s nice to find a place where I can talk with people about things that are important to me, that they take the things seriously and are willing to listen to what I have to say about them.
Being totally honest, most of the conversations at the other place didn’t usually go there- not about spiritual things (occasionally). A couple friends we may have gotten deep but the communication part often seemed to not quite touch base… This one friend of mine, it seems to take forever for her and I to understand what the other is really trying to say. But since we have a relationship, we do try…and my other closer friend we shared some stuff but not in the idea/discussion realm. One the other hand , how important is that anyway? I mean I can have discussions and discuss and read about spiritual ideas online, I can do that with some of my other friends that I don’t see on a regular basis. It’s enjoyable for me, but how important is that really.
Relationship, that is important I know (whether I go up and down in my feeling over it). The church is supposed to be about relationship(s), a big part of it is anyway. You grow in a certain way as part of a church community that you cannot grow any other way. Again I go back and forth in my feelings over it, although I know how it should be and how important it is. I guess at times I resist, because it is one of the more personal and can be painful things. If I stay in an impersonal bubble of ideas, discussions, practicalities, theology and such I feel confident & stronger…to step into the other make me more vulnerable. All that “stuff” do they like me or not, do I want to be relationship with them or not- does God want us to be, how far does that go, what does that mean, how much do I have to share of my life myself, I often have to share (myself-personal life) with people I don’t like and or trust especially if they are leaders over you, sometimes you really don’t have much of a choice (such as in the case just mentioned), people get to know your “business”, people you think you were close with betray you, people you though were your friends later act like they don’t know you….
Went though a lot of this at this other place. Think you go through more of it when you are around more people who are less mature, have issues, and or are new in the Lord. Ha in which case, if one really is more mature than the responsibility is on you not to act like a baby, be sensitive, and expect others to reach out to you and make up the difference. Though even the most mature, and people like pastors and lay ministers even once and awhile wish it were the other way around sometime (think that is how some fall because they don’t have/or trust others like them, to share with and relive each others burdens).
This I have found, it seems after being around lots of different kinds of people, etc.. The closest, deepest relationships, in the natural and in the spirit are formed through doing the work of the ministry together. It’s not through just being there together week after week year after year, not through praying together, worshipping together, not just through having the same beliefs and theology, not through becoming friends, not through having fellowship/ like eating together… but I’ve found- through working in the ministry together. There is a certain bond that can be formed that way and none else. The bond through just believing the same is real but doesn’t feel as deep. But when you have the one plus the other….
There is bond that can come though sharing life events together, going through things life events-serious events together- and that can get pretty deep and you have a shared history, still…
http://christianforums.com/blog.php?u=112757
I’ve been tossed back and forth with the waves of indecision, and still am not any closer to making a firm decision. It’s about whether here or there. I suppose I should fast about it, I haven’t like totally. It is worth that kind of response though.. This is one of the bigger decisions a Christian can make.
It’s especially hard since I have a certain type of person for a husband. This can make this a nightmare, where it possibly didn’t have to be that “bad”.
3 things are majorly important to me- “righteousness“, “justice” and the charismatic…I think in that order as well.. I have it firmly established that I wouldn’t become a member somewhere that doesn’t preach the real gospel, one that includes repentance and turning from sin. Nor would I sit with one that doesn’t teach this on a regular basis, certainly not one that doesn’t speak to it and lets “greasy grace” abound.
“Justice” as in caring about and actively reaching out to/speaking to the needs of the needy, this is the second area of importance to me. It won’t anger me and cause me to be as indignant as the first point, yet it can be more like a nagging uncomfortableness that never sits right.. It can keep eating at and needling me. I suppose because it’s something connected to my calling/ministry.
The third I used to think was more a priority, now I think I have placed it better in the order of things. I have learned over the years through experience and observation that though it is important one can still be a “functioning” Christian without it, unlike you can’t have the Gospel without repentance. I’ve found I have more in common with Christians from other denominations who preach/believe/live the “straight” gospel , believe God changes a life and doesn’t disregard sin I have more fellowship (deep down) with these type people than Charismatic’s who I can chat with about the so called “deep or high things” but who don’t care about righteousness, and Gods heart for holiness, about how repentance & grace mean to turn from sin (grace is the power to do so, not just forgiveness).
So, I would rather be around “dry” Baptists or Presbyterians who are serious for Jesus, than spiritual Charismatic’s who are living loose lives and or excuse it in others.
The optimal would be a place with all 3. I suppose I’d have to move to another state to find that… (at least from what I know). Seems the best is 2 out of 3 plus whatever side things. I feel so torn though, how can I give anything up? Ha, I wish I was in revival again, but in the city….
Maybe one day in Heaven, but now back to reality.
I hate, hate, hate, being put in this position! Yet when someone abdicates, where does it fall? Then of course one way or another I am going to get garbage dumped on me at some point in time- so I better make a decision I can stand on and believe in enough to fight for, if necessary. (won’t focus on this point here).
This is about our future, about future life, about future anointing, ministry, relationships & connections, maybe it is about even something greater than us and our future’s (I’m sure it is but down want to think too deep on that one). There are 5 of us, 5 lives in the balance…. Maybe lives in the balance of others that those 5 will effect…
Makes me soo mad, that they think I don’t take it seriously just cause I am not them (and thereby view life and methods as them). Well I have to do what I have to and what I believe is best all around and God’s will…
Comparison time (as if that will help anything):
1 for the most part we can just jump in, since we already know a bunch of people there- including the pastor and a couple close to us are top leaders again. The other we have to start all over again, start from scratch again. Get to know all new people (although it’s not like there are a ton of them)…
However this new place, we seem to have connected and flow pretty quick- agreement of minds in spirit I guess. I have already had some great conservations, edifying getting a lot out of that. And I see it has been the same for the rest (OK not the baby). This is a big deal for my other half… although he is great at being social and connecting at a surface level- usually it’s a rare thing for him to get something” out of an encounter. I mean like that people that make him think/learn/that he can receive from.
For me it’s not that, but mostly It takes a long time for me to feel comfortable, to open up enough to get beyond small talk and chit chat. It’s nice to find a place where I can talk with people about things that are important to me, that they take the things seriously and are willing to listen to what I have to say about them.
Being totally honest, most of the conversations at the other place didn’t usually go there- not about spiritual things (occasionally). A couple friends we may have gotten deep but the communication part often seemed to not quite touch base… This one friend of mine, it seems to take forever for her and I to understand what the other is really trying to say. But since we have a relationship, we do try…and my other closer friend we shared some stuff but not in the idea/discussion realm. One the other hand , how important is that anyway? I mean I can have discussions and discuss and read about spiritual ideas online, I can do that with some of my other friends that I don’t see on a regular basis. It’s enjoyable for me, but how important is that really.
Relationship, that is important I know (whether I go up and down in my feeling over it). The church is supposed to be about relationship(s), a big part of it is anyway. You grow in a certain way as part of a church community that you cannot grow any other way. Again I go back and forth in my feelings over it, although I know how it should be and how important it is. I guess at times I resist, because it is one of the more personal and can be painful things. If I stay in an impersonal bubble of ideas, discussions, practicalities, theology and such I feel confident & stronger…to step into the other make me more vulnerable. All that “stuff” do they like me or not, do I want to be relationship with them or not- does God want us to be, how far does that go, what does that mean, how much do I have to share of my life myself, I often have to share (myself-personal life) with people I don’t like and or trust especially if they are leaders over you, sometimes you really don’t have much of a choice (such as in the case just mentioned), people get to know your “business”, people you think you were close with betray you, people you though were your friends later act like they don’t know you….
Went though a lot of this at this other place. Think you go through more of it when you are around more people who are less mature, have issues, and or are new in the Lord. Ha in which case, if one really is more mature than the responsibility is on you not to act like a baby, be sensitive, and expect others to reach out to you and make up the difference. Though even the most mature, and people like pastors and lay ministers even once and awhile wish it were the other way around sometime (think that is how some fall because they don’t have/or trust others like them, to share with and relive each others burdens).
This I have found, it seems after being around lots of different kinds of people, etc.. The closest, deepest relationships, in the natural and in the spirit are formed through doing the work of the ministry together. It’s not through just being there together week after week year after year, not through praying together, worshipping together, not just through having the same beliefs and theology, not through becoming friends, not through having fellowship/ like eating together… but I’ve found- through working in the ministry together. There is a certain bond that can be formed that way and none else. The bond through just believing the same is real but doesn’t feel as deep. But when you have the one plus the other….
There is bond that can come though sharing life events together, going through things life events-serious events together- and that can get pretty deep and you have a shared history, still…
http://christianforums.com/blog.php?u=112757