All day I've been randomly thinking... "Pathetic. Wah, wah, wah. Whiny baby." This is due to my prayer request I posted this morning. But... with each time I've talked down to myself I've recognized the negativity and the lie and given a rebuttal against it. Rebuttal, rebuttal, rebuttal, until rebuttal finally won out: "No... it would be more pathetic for me to ignore my emotions, pretend like everything is honky dory even though it's not, and consequently never move forward." Truth is, if I'm going to move on from everything, then I need to embrace my emotions when they bubble to the surface, I need to respect myself enough to allow my emotions to matter; I need to allow myself to feel the pain and the confusion and to not feel shame for having emotions... having feelings: that's called being human. And since I'm beyond ready to move on, I've got to allow this process of healing or I never will truly move on... I've been patient thus far, why stop when I've already reached the top of the mountain? I must throw the condemnation out the door and realize that that kind of thought process does not mark the nature of God, so will get me no where.
The thing is... over the last few days I've really been able to feel God removing from my back this unnecessary load of past hurts and confusions. My heart is healing, my mind is becoming less confused and more at ease. And I know that putting my struggles out there and allowing people to pray for me, as well as praying myself, has made all the difference.
7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
Matthew 7:7
I'm not going to quit receiving and believing in God's promises; that would be to let the enemy win exactly what he was after to begin with. Why would I fight the enemy tooth and nail just to cave in at the end?? Give it up satan - I reject you in the name of the Lord, Jesus Christ my Savior!
The thing is... over the last few days I've really been able to feel God removing from my back this unnecessary load of past hurts and confusions. My heart is healing, my mind is becoming less confused and more at ease. And I know that putting my struggles out there and allowing people to pray for me, as well as praying myself, has made all the difference.
7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
Matthew 7:7
I'm not going to quit receiving and believing in God's promises; that would be to let the enemy win exactly what he was after to begin with. Why would I fight the enemy tooth and nail just to cave in at the end?? Give it up satan - I reject you in the name of the Lord, Jesus Christ my Savior!