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big cool dude

O i have a blog?

Maybe i could write some prophetic poetry, at one point i could recieve gods flow pretty much at any time. Now i dont know if i could hear him even after prayer.

I have a nagging suspicion my success in God has dwindled with my masturbation. When i first started speaking in tongues, i didnt beat my meat for a few months. But also it gets kind've hard not masturbating, i have a tendancy to become filled with anxiety, and "sketch out" to the max.

I wish ida documented it more, (ive been keeping a day to day diary for about a month now), but im fairly cerptain God works more when im not beatin my meat. God told me when i was around 6-7 that i would see him when i had one eye, of course i ran to the bathroom cas i was scared id only have one eye, i didnt know what it meant then.

Also when i was not masturbatin, id oft fall to guilt trips despite my best attempts not too. Now i think im alot better and have grown to conquer that aspect now, im fairly cerptain, but what if im just more pacified in that respect from my masturbatin.

I hypothesize the best thing to do would to do it like every 1-3 weeks? I asked God if it was sinful(many times) or if it was good under the right circumstances, and i saw some cards clear as day, which means it is if you play your cards right.

I am not sure, but i really have grown in not having panic attacks and guilt trips in the like, so i think if i seek God and steer clear of those, and of fearing them or recognizing their legitamacy, i would be in the clear.

I found a good church, i went there and prayed and laughed in the spirit afterwards.