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back here again..

Why do I run back here whenever I am hurt.... I don't know if it's right, Lord, to use this as a refuge from 'real life'...
But I need the release of writing... and I need somewhere to talk to You this way...

Lord.. You know what I am.... You know my heart... please help. I can't cope with losing friends this way - or with the pain of being seen as a threat to someone's walk with You. That hurts so, so much.. and I don't know how to deal with it, except to withdraw... from anyone I get close to.

Hold them, Abba. You're in control.... remind me of that, please.