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August 16th

Today went okay, I guess. I got work done on the game I'm making. I talked to the professor and he said that it was okay that I got in touch with him through my other professor. So, no harm done I guess.

Tomorrow is the last day for me to quit college. I probably won't quit. I know I'm going to go to hell if I don't quit, but I just don't want to quit. Everyone tells me not to quit, and my classmates need my help. I don't want to let everyone down. Everyone wants me to succeed, not quit.

I really feel like I will go to hell because of my grades (and because I'm a horrible person). I feel like I was given signs that this is the truth. If only I didn't make these bets in my head then I could go to college without worrying about these things. But, I did what I did.

Here's a song I've been listening to.


I don't know how I can ever feel happy again. I keep adding together all the signs in my head, and they all add up to hell forever.

I want to have some faith. I just have very, very little. Please God, please give me faith. Amen. Maybe I just need to be more optimistic. I just have a hard time feeling good while hearing all of the voices.

Hopefully things will be okay. I'm just very afraid. The voices just keep telling me to quit school or else suffer the consequences.