Today is just another day without him. I miss my husband to the point that I physically feel pain. Sometimes I wonder if thats even possible. I wonder when I will feel normal again. What is normal. Finding a new normal has proven to be the real task for me. I dont know who I am without him. I used to be his wife, the woman who took care of him when he didnt feel well. The woman who always tried to keep his spirits up when he was down and just tired of dealing with the pain. Who am I now that he is gone. I find that I am emotionally drained all the time. Im so tired of that feeling. There was a time when I knew who I was and what I wanted in life. Now I have no idea who I am and where my life is going. My vision used to be just to grow old with him now God has a new vision for me and being patient is the problem. Im not a patient person but I pray everyday and I know in my heart that God will answer my prayers. Thank God for my family. If it werent for them I dont know where I would be. Some of them are also having trouble dealing with his death. I try to help them but with my own grief its hard.I can only pray for them and try to be there for them when they need me.