A stronger relationship with God.,..

I have to learn how to have a stronger relationship with God. Im in this place that requires God to take the place of human relationships. In general God has kept me alive. Now I need him on a daily basis, to be with me in the place of ugly people... I need Gods help all the time. All the time. Im having such a hard time with this. Part of me will not give in, or give up, that part needs God. I need to go back to becoming a decent person. Im hungry to go back to being a decent person. Ive drawn in the waters of hatred, and I have to come ashore and take a break, Im in such pain. I need relief. A dry sand would work for me. Safety. This world is not safe.

Do not give what is holy to the dogs. I just did this and Im paying for it as I wake up from my denial. Its all very hard....

I hate being hurt and torn up by other people. I tried to be nice, they tore me apart. Now I know there souls are not like my soul, they were of the enemy, I never knew. Why didn't I know...

Im trying to get myself back....

The people I dealt with are very bad people. I did not know this.. Now I know this.... It hurts so much...

I would like to develop a better relationship with God. I have to keep working at it...