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6-21-08

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Okay, now that I have that out of my system...I'm getting baptized tomorrow. I am scared to death of water and I'm getting baptized in a pool. A pool! Of water! A big pool! I can't believe I'm actually doing this. I'm so nervous. There is no way I'll be able to sleep tonight. I'll sleep during church tomorrow. The lesson is going to be about healing. Not a topic I love. I'm not singing tomorrow, but I am going to take the guitar and see if I can play along during practice. I haven't played guitar in a while.

People that I help with the songs have been telling me some of their issues with the worship band. They have been upset because of the rotation. We have an odd number of female singers and so we're supposed to be rotating giving everyone 2 weeks on. But with 5 women, the leader hasn't quite figured out how to rotate us. Some people are getting 2 weeks, some are getting 3 and it's causing some problems with what appears to be favoritism. It doesn't bother me about that. What does bother me though, is that the leader only wants to use my voice.

I was kind of wary about singing in public when I got here, because this always seems to happen. I can do other things besides sing, but that's what people see. So I never get to do anything else. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE singing, but I also love playing the bass, and playing the guitar. And right now there's only one bass player. And they said they would rotate him out if there was ever another bass player. Well here I am, and they know I can play, but they still won't rotate him out. And it's kinda wearing him down. So that is frustrating to me because once again, I feel like I'm just a voice to people, when I am so much more. I've always heard "If you don't use it, you'll lose it". And I don't want that to happen. But it's not like there's anything I can do about that. I just wish the rotations would get figured out. It's frustrating to have people come to me with their frustrations and to not be able to do anything about it.

Anyway. Pray for me as I get baptized tomorrow. I'll let y'all know if I survive!