Yes, it's me again....share your wisdom with me!

[searle29678]

Does inappropriate contentography count as adultery when we are discussing grounds for divorce?

 

[snoochface]

[bible]Matthew 5:27-28[/bible]

[bible]Matthew 5:31-32[/bible]

These verses are right on the heels of each other in the same lesson Jesus was teaching. I think that's significant.

 

[~Nikki~]

Matthew 5:27-2827 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: 28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Matthew 5:31-3231 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

These verses are right on the heels of each other in the same lesson Jesus was teaching. I think that's significant.

Yes, but in the second quote, Jesus was talking about divorcing for 'fornication', not adultery...

The words in Greek are different. 'Mocheia' means adultery, and the word in the second quote is 'inappropriate contenteia' very definitely meaning fornication, not adultery...

 

[searle29678]

What qualifies as fornication? Self gratification while lusting after another woman? I don't quite understand what the word includes.

 

[snoochface]

Yes, but in the second quote, Jesus was talking about divorcing for 'fornication', not adultery...

The words in Greek are different. 'Mocheia' means adultery, and the word in the second quote is 'inappropriate contenteia' very definitely meaning fornication, not adultery...

It seems like it includes adultery. I don't know how to put this in here and have it look "pretty" - the numbers after the words are the Strong's references. (This is the NASB version, by the way.) The number after "unchastity" is 4202. See below for the Strong's reference.

Mat 5:32 but I say3004 to you that everyone3956 who divorces630 his wife1135, except3924 for the reason3056 of unchastity4202, makes4160 her commit3431 adultery3431; and whoever3739, 1437 marries1060 a divorced630 woman1135 commits3429 adultery3429.

From Strong's (emphasis mine):

G4202
πορνεία
inappropriate contenteia
por-ni'-ah
From G4203; harlotry (including adultery and incest); figuratively idolatry: - fornication.

 

[Andry]

Legally, in front of a judge? No.

 

[searle29678]

I know legally it doesn't stand up. I'm wondering how it ties in to the Biblical definition of adultery.

 

[Addicted2~Jesus]

What qualifies as fornication? Self gratification while lusting after another woman? I don't quite understand what the word includes.

I think you've got it there, wether a physical act has takin place er not, Jesus said whoever looks at a woman wit lust in their heart has already commited adultery. An yeah I think if'n a feller grabs his bits an gratifies emsef to a pic er video of some gal he's already commited adultery in his heart. We keep you in our prayers an pray for God's wisdom in your life wit th troubles you've got. I could personaly careless bout what "legally" defines anythin, I don't subscribe to mans laws, I'm under a higher power an yes while we are to obey mans laws etc if it were grounds for divorce I personnaly think that qualifies.

 

[searle29678]

Well, the history is....
We have fought about inappropriate content and he had sworn to do away with it in the house. I can help him with drugs and things but inappropriate content I just don't understand. Today I found out my satellite bill is through the roof because of him ordering movies.
I made a decision today to move out. I found a place and I'm going to look at it now. Not because I want a divorce, but because this relationship is just unhealthy and we both need to get it together.

 

[Addicted2~Jesus]

Well, the history is....
We have fought about inappropriate content and he had sworn to do away with it in the house. I can help him with drugs and things but inappropriate content I just don't understand. Today I found out my satellite bill is through the roof because of him ordering movies.
I made a decision today to move out. I found a place and I'm going to look at it now. Not because I want a divorce, but because this relationship is just unhealthy and we both need to get it together.

Pat on th back for ya sister, I'm glad your intentions are centered as well, reconginzin that this is an has been jes unhealthy an sumthins gotta give. As far as your sat bill goes, cut it off, throw it out th window er git yasef one of em parental locks an password th ever livin snot outta th thin. As far as understandin inappropriate content goes, it's not right so don't misunderstand what I'm bout to say, but men (er rather a bunch of men) are stimulated visually an to see sumthin goin on like that isn't so much as a turn on I guess but an arousel for sure. Still not right an definitely not healthy I mean a fellers jes foolin emsef if'n he thinks his wife is gonna look like er do what he see's on tv. Womens bodies change an inappropriate content industries don't so a feller is jes settin emsef up for a down fall.

 

[Andry]

I could personaly careless bout what "legally" defines anythin, I don't subscribe to mans laws, I'm under a higher power an yes while we are to obey mans laws etc if it were grounds for divorce I personnaly think that qualifies.

Ergo, many (most?) married women are then in a moral / Biblical position to divorce their husbands, as I dare say most of us husbands have had sexual thoughts or fantasies that qualifies as adulterous.

What stops the women from divorcing us then? Or is physical adultery more sinful?

 

[Addicted2~Jesus]

Ergo, many (most?) married women are then in a moral / Biblical position to divorce their husbands, as I dare say most of us husbands have had sexual thoughts or fantasies that qualifies as adulterous.

What stops the women from divorcing us then? Or is physical adultery more sinful?

I don't reckon this is th place to have this particular discussion, but th bible also says to be reconciled to ones husband/ spouse an I figure it's up to th gal to decide wether she wants to divorce er not, I don't think anythin says she cain't even for men havin fantasies an what not, let's call th kettle black your bound to be right when ya say a most if not all men have had fantasies an what not an what does that make us? Adulterous in our hearts. Kinda stings a bit huh? It's each of our responsibilites to deal wit this sorta thin on our own wit God.

 

[searle29678]

Thoughts, fantasies, glances, etc...are human nature. If he wants to imagine what that lady on tv looks like under her blouse so be it. Nothing I can do to stop that split second image he wants to flash through his mind.
What I don't approve of is intentionally using the image of another woman simulating or having sex to gratify yourself through masturbation. In my mind that is adultery.

Edited to add:

You can pray about not having those "little" thoughts anymore. You can control yourself. It becomes a sin when you act on it in any way, shape, or form. Sometimes you really just can't help that little pang of jealousy or lust or whatever sin it may be, but you can stop yourself before it becomes stealing for what you want or acting on that lust. (those are just examples)

 

[Andry]

I don't reckon this is th place to have this particular discussion, but th bible also says to be reconciled to ones husband/ spouse an I figure it's up to th gal to decide wether she wants to divorce er not, I don't think anythin says she cain't even for men havin fantasies an what not, let's call th kettle black your bound to be right when ya say a most if not all men have had fantasies an what not an what does that make us? Adulterous in our hearts. Kinda stings a bit huh? It's each of our responsibilites to deal wit this sorta thin on our own wit God.

I'm not disagreeing with you.

What I was driving at, is that while there may be valid grounds for divorce, we tend to take away grace when adultery is committed in the physical (and dish out judgment), yet more 'permissive' or tolerant (and more inclined to reconcile) when it's 'just' inappropriate contentography or sexual fantasies.

But in both cases, their both just as sinful, but also hopefully, given equal opportunity to reconcile. And reconciliation takes a whole lot of grace.

 

[SirKenin]

Does inappropriate contentography count as adultery when we are discussing grounds for divorce?

inappropriate contentography is only grounds for divorce if you can prove that your husband is looking at it with lust in his heart. There is no legitimate argument against inappropriate content that I can think of off the top of my head, but there is a very legitimate argument against lust. Jesus himself clarified that if you look at another woman with lust you are committing adultery. I think there is a fine line there, and your husband is going to be hard pressed to prove that lust wasn't involved.

In a Court of Law, however, you would have a brutal time proving it. You would have to settle for irreconcilable differences with attempts made for one year or more, depending on your jurisdiction.

All that said, are you sure you're not just looking for excuses to get rid of this guy and leave your conscience free so you can remarry?

 

[redwing030]

inappropriate contentography is only grounds for divorce if you can prove that your husband is looking at it with lust in his heart. There is no legitimate argument against inappropriate content that I can think of off the top of my head, but there is a very legitimate argument against lust. Jesus himself clarified that if you look at another woman with lust you are committing adultery. I think there is a fine line there, and your husband is going to be hard pressed to prove that lust wasn't involved.

In a Court of Law, however, you would have a brutal time proving it. You would have to settle for irreconcilable differences with no chance for reconciliation.

All that said, are you sure you're not just looking for excuses to get rid of this guy and leave your conscience free so you can remarry?

Wouldn't him gratifying himself kinda show the lust??

 

[SirKenin]

Wouldn't him gratifying himself kinda show the lust??

No, I don't think so at all. I can gratify myself, and have, so to speak without any lust whatsoever. To say that it *can* be a component does not equate to *is* necessarily.

 

[jaimegerise]

No, I don't think so at all. I can gratify myself, and have, so to speak without any lust whatsoever. To say that it *can* be a component does not equate to *is* necessarily.

Well, if he's looking at inappropriate content while gratifying himself...I'd have to say that there's some level of lust there...otherwise, he wouldn't need to look at the inappropriate content in order to gratify himself....

IMHO

 

[SirKenin]

Well, if he's looking at inappropriate content while gratifying himself...I'd have to say that there's some level of lust there...otherwise, he wouldn't need to look at the inappropriate content in order to gratify himself....

IMHO

No, that's not necessarily the way it works. You can look at inappropriate content just for the stimulation without ever wanting the girl in the picture. Don't forget, men's sex drive is driven by physical appearance. A pair of boobs on a monitor is all it takes.

Now, here's the catch. If you're saying to yourself "oh, I'd do her" or "oh yeah, I'd like to take you home" or any of a number of dumb things then yes, you've fallen into the lust trap. Congratulations, you are sucker 2,483,958,394.

 

[redwing030]

A pair of boobs on a monitor is all it takes.

But those boobs belong to a woman who's not the wife so if the boobs do it for ya, you'd still be wanting the girl attached them. As long as there are no independent-from-the-body boobs I just don't think you can lust after the boobs, yet not the girl with 'em.