Working with Non-Believers

[Isaiah 2:22]

Why limit yourself to them only, when you could possibly be attracted to someone shorter than 6 feet. Just saying, you could be missing out.

Speaking for myself here, but I am relatively tall (though not 6 feet tall), and dating a man who is significantly shorter than me would make me feel awkward and less feminine. But I don't actually have specific criteria for height. Just as long as he's not more than an inch or so shorter than me.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Given your circumstances its practical. You’re in a small town and you’ve put down roots. You’ll need to be more flexible. You’re dealing with a smaller demographic.

But I’m in the third largest city in the country. And I’m not tied to one place. If I meet someone I like I can move. I don’t have to stay here. That opens up more opportunities.

Bella, I wanted to revisit the ht., standard, now that you mentioned you're a tall woman. I can see how you'd want a tall man in that situation (situational).

I've met 5'4" woman that still want rather tall men, that's where it gets a bit frustrating for me, being 5'8".

 

[bèlla]

Bella, I wanted to revisit the ht., standard, now that you mentioned you're a tall woman. I can see how you'd want a tall man in that situation (situational).

I've met 5'4" woman that still want rather tall men, that's where it gets a bit frustrating for me, being 5'8".

I’m not tall. My mother is the anomaly. But it’s in my genes and evident in my frame. Long arms, legs, neck and torso. My body really wanted to grow.

Many tall men prefer shorter women. They feel like her protector. In 9 out of 10 instances, a tall man will approach me before someone shorter. It rarely happens. I don’t attract them.

Keep in mind, I’m on the trad side of the dating market. I want an HoH relationship. It was always my preference. The proportion of men desiring that is significantly larger than the pool. Most women don’t want the same. Christian or otherwise. The numbers are in my favor.

 

[DragonFox91]

Speaking for myself here, but I am relatively tall (though not 6 feet tall), and dating a man who is significantly shorter than me would make me feel awkward and less feminine. But I don't actually have specific criteria for height. Just as long as he's not more than an inch or so shorter than me.

I think all of what you said is the norm.

 

[Cavalier83]

Any advice on the witnessing front? I just know with “Sarah”, eternal life is very much real and as I mentioned in previous posts, I really want to do my part in leading her in the way she should go.

All this, while trying to wrestle with my own attractions and anxieties.

 

[MehGuy]

Ugh, I have a nerdy question for you I want the atheist/agnostic in you in particular to answer, but it's too nerdy to ask.

Alright. Yeah my statement isn't really 100% factual.

 

[MehGuy]

Speaking for myself here, but I am relatively tall (though not 6 feet tall), and dating a man who is significantly shorter than me would make me feel awkward and less feminine. But I don't actually have specific criteria for height. Just as long as he's not more than an inch or so shorter than me.

Yeah same with me and a woman's age. If she's older I'm just going to feel awkward and less masculine.

I remember once meeting a cute woman who I thought was 10 years younger than what she really was. When I found out her real age, my feelings for her just died. One thing people might not realize is that men's concern for youthfulness is not strictly a "looks" thing.. the psychological side of it is very powerful too.

 

[Isaiah 2:22]

Yeah same with me and a woman's age. If she's older I'm just going to feel awkward and less masculine.

I remember once meeting a cute woman who I thought was 10 years younger than what she really was. When I found out her real age, my feelings for her just died. One thing people might not realize is that men's concern for youthfulness is not strictly a "looks" thing.. the psychological side of it is very powerful too.

Yup! And I even feel that way about a man's age. Like, if he's too much younger than me (say 2 years younger), I would feel weird about it.

 

[MehGuy]

Yup! And I even feel that way about a man's age. Like, if he's too much younger than me (say 2 years younger), I would feel weird about it.

Yeah, I also feel the same if a woman is taller than me.

Not in a low self esteem way.. it just feels weird.. and really kills the ability to feel "manly". Although I also don't like really, really short women. Prefer one just a few inches shorter than me. I might be a little weird for that.. lol.

 

[bèlla]

Yup! And I even feel that way about a man's age. Like, if he's too much younger than me (say 2 years younger), I would feel weird about it.

I used to feel the same. But it changed. I was caught off-guard! *lol*

 

[MehGuy]

I do like to document changes in my psychology. For me I never really associated being with a younger woman as feeling more masculine and finding the woman herself as more feminine until I hit around the age of 25. Every year since then these feelings have only grown. I can't imagine what I'll be like when I'm 40. While women do like older men despite feminists liking to pretend otherwise, I do feel fortunate enough to be in a sub-culture where older men and younger women are hyper desirable. 20+ year age gaps there are not uncommon.

Right now I prefer a 7 year age gap, but it will probably get longer the older I get (which studies already indicate happens with men). I've always planned to get married sometime in my 30s to a younger woman. I've had this plan even before I understood the emotional reasons why men like age gaps. It was something I saw my male relatives do. They'd marry latter in life compared to their taller peers but to younger women. Studies even indicate that this is the statistical likelihood of short men.

I remember seeing this study listed on a feminist video.. and they played sad/scary music.. like the horror.. oh no as a short man I'm more likely to marry a younger woman! Lol.

Of course if you desire a long term commitment with a woman she'll age.. but like I said before.. age gaps also have a very strong psychological realm to them as well. You'll still feel more masculine and find her more feminine even when she's older.. because the age gap will always be there to trail along.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

Speaking for myself here, but I am relatively tall (though not 6 feet tall), and dating a man who is significantly shorter than me would make me feel awkward and less feminine. But I don't actually have specific criteria for height. Just as long as he's not more than an inch or so shorter than me.

Totally relate. I mean, I'm probably not as tall as you I'm guessing, but I m not necessarily short either. I have a verrrrryyyy hard time connecting with my feminity, as I'm naturally inclined to be tomboy-ish. So whenever I'm feeling more intune with my feminine side, any little thing, such as a man being shorter than I am, will crumble my confidence in feeling feminine and attractive in any way.

 

[Sketcher]

What kinds of scary and vindictive women are you dating? It seems like only a tiny minority would do things like this. I certainly wouldn't. I would hope other Christian women wouldn't either.

Not that I think dating in the workplace is a great idea, but I hardly think the consequences would be this harsh in most cases.

Me? Nobody right now. I've seen some drama in the office though. Not all of those examples, but a few. That includes a prominent firing for sexual harassment when the woman involved wasn't vindictive. Some life lessons I've observed from my time here (some of which are common sense, but when people are emotional, common sense gets compromised):

• If you're married, don't even appear to have something going on with someone at the office.
• When someone tells you to not contact them anymore, oblige.
• Never mention the parts of a coworker that are covered by a swimsuit, either to that coworker or others.
• Sometimes, the office "harlot" works for HR and therefore has all the power.

 

[Isaiah 2:22]

Thanks guys. Through largely my own doing, I feel the impetus of the post may be lost. It’s not so much dating advice. I just want her to find Christ, and am more appreciative of input with that aspect.

Any advice on the witnessing front? I just know with “Sarah”, eternal life is very much real and as I mentioned in previous posts, I really want to do my part in leading her in the way she should go.

All this, while trying to wrestle with my own attractions and anxieties.

Oh dear, we really have side-tracked your thread quite a bit. If I were you, I would do my best to avoid developing deeper feelings for her first. Your motives for witnessing to her will be clouded otherwise. And I'm generally not an advocate for being pushy about faith at work anyways, so I don't really know what to tell you. I hope someone else can chime in with something more helpful.

 

[Isaiah 2:22]

That includes a prominent firing for sexual harassment when the woman involved wasn't vindictive.

As in, it was legitimate and deserved? I'm assuming you mean the man was fired?

• Sometimes, the office "harlot" works for HR and therefore has all the power.

LOL! That would be quite something.

 

[Sketcher]

As in, it was legitimate and deserved? I'm assuming you mean the man was fired?

Yes he was. He was in good standing before that happened, too.

LOL! That would be quite something.

Yeah, fortunately I was able to stay away from that. She's not with us anymore, but I think she quit.

Speaking for myself here, but I am relatively tall (though not 6 feet tall), and dating a man who is significantly shorter than me would make me feel awkward and less feminine. But I don't actually have specific criteria for height. Just as long as he's not more than an inch or so shorter than me.

That's pretty common. If you wear heels, do you factor in the height change that they provide? Is that inch-or-so shorter preference with heels or without?

 

[Isaiah 2:22]

Yes he was. He was in good standing before that happened, too.

And I'm assuming he actually did harass her, and it wasn't just a scenario where he asked her out once and she reported him to HR? Because that would be ridiculous. I've been harassed at work before, and the man who did it also got fired. But he continued on and on for around 6 months till I couldn't stand it anymore and finally reported it (with plentiful evidence). This sort of behaviour is a good reason it's better not to pursue romance in the workplace. My work has a rule about it in the contract. But I don't understand why so many people can't take no for an answer. It's irritating.

That's pretty common. If you wear heels, do you factor in the height change that they provide and prefer men that are still taller than you if you are wearing them?

I never wear heels. Can't walk in them. If I did? I probably wouldn't factor them in, no.

 

[Sophrosyne]

Speaking for myself here, but I am relatively tall (though not 6 feet tall), and dating a man who is significantly shorter than me would make me feel awkward and less feminine. But I don't actually have specific criteria for height. Just as long as he's not more than an inch or so shorter than me.

I can agree with dating someone a lot shorter than anyone is can make one feel awkward for sure.

 

[Sketcher]

And I'm assuming he actually did harass her, and it wasn't just a scenario where he asked her out once and she reported him to HR? Because that would be ridiculous. I've been harassed at work before, and the man who did it also got fired. But he continued on and on for around 6 months till I couldn't stand it anymore and finally reported it (with plentiful evidence). This sort of behaviour is a good reason it's better not to pursue romance in the workplace. My work has a rule about it in the contract. But I don't understand why so many people can't take no for an answer. It's irritating.

No, they had a thing going for a while. We're a company of nerds, so she was a nerd and he was a more experienced nerd and they appeared to be getting very close for an extended period of time. She then wanted to cut it off for good. Rumor is he persisted, and gave her a racy insult when she wouldn't join him like she used to. Either way, he was fired in short order.

 

[Isaiah 2:22]

No, they had a thing going for a while. We're a company of nerds, so she was a nerd and he was a more experienced nerd and they appeared to be getting very close for an extended period of time. She then wanted to cut it off for good. Rumor is he persisted, and gave her a racy insult when she wouldn't join him like she used to. Either way, he was fired in short order.

Oh yeah, that's more complicated then if they were together for a bit before things fell apart. Too bad he reacted the way he did. Men have to be suuuuper careful these days with this sort of thing. One little slip up and you're gone.