Will God forgive me?

[servant4ever]

Hello everybody,

Nobody responded to my last post on my last thread, so I thought it would be better to start another thread. Will God forgive me if I decide to commit suicide? Also will He forgive me if I cut myself? I have been thinking of this nonstop for the last 6 hours, I need to know, will He forgive me? If He won't, I will not kill myself, I have been trying to feel better for 2 1/2 years, I'm just ready to be done with life. I'm sick of everything in my life going wrong. Please respond.

servant4ever

 

[marc]

Have you told anyone else? This kind of thing is much better discussed with someone in person. You should really find some other christian you know and confess it all to them. I'm assuming that you have prayed and fasted and asked God to help you? He can send someone to comfort you and help you.
Father I pray right now that you would comfort and help "servant4ever", send your Holy Spirit the "comforter" to him right now. You promised that you would be with us always and he needs you right now. In Jesus name, I ask these things according to your promises.
I haven't thought about suicide since I've been saved (three years now), I do know that when I considered it before, I always thought about those that love me and how much they would grieve. Whenever I thought of them I would stop the thoughts. I didn't feel better, but I stop considering death. I don't know if you are alone and if you spend a lot of time alone, but aloneness will be the death of anyone. Sometimes it is good, but if satan is provoking you, he will pound you while you are alone. Last month I spent a lot of time alone and it felt like I had a demon pounding me for a week. I think I did and I prayed and sought out fellowship with brothers and in due time it backed off. We have more power than every demon and fallen angel combined through prayer! Brother I don't know if I helped at all but let me know if there is anything else I can do. I wish I could give you a hug for God.

In Christ

 

[servant4ever]

Hello Marc,

I feel so alone. I attend college 4 hours away from home, which is neither good or bad. My family rejects me, they are Christians, but my parents are too overprotective and literally don't let me have freedom when I am home, and if they found out I feel depressed, I will be considerred "crazy." Here at school I have no friends. My only "friend" I had from my freshman year, which was last year, I am a sophomore, he told me I have never been a friend of his. I try to seek friends, but it seems like no one cares for me, which saddens me since this is a Christian school. I am in counseling, but it isn't working. All I did tonight, a Friday night, is go to a fast food restaurant for dinner, and just sit here in my room, while all my roommates are out with friends, none of them inviting me along. I do everything alone. I go to lunch and dinner together. I watch movies by myself. I go to concerts and similar events alone. I even go to church alone, even though many college students from the same school go to the church I attend, there is not one "college" section, we are all spread out among the worship center, and no one has ever invited me to sit by them. I just feel so alone, I don't think it would make any difference if I was here or not. I guess it would, it would save people money and time and energy if I wasn't here.

servant4ever

 

[marc]

Where are you? What town and state?
Like I said alone is no good. I know how you feel there. I can be in a crowd of 50,000 and feel totally alone. Except of cours for Jesus. When I'm alone I talk to Him, but after a while I start to tell myself that I'm crazy.
The reason I ask where you are is because I might know a better church. Not that I know if the one you are going to is bad, but it sounds big. People unfortunately tend to get left out in big churchs. Everyone thinks everyone else is with someone else and they don't talk to anyone. In a small bible believing church, I don't care who you are, you are going to be welcomed and loved. Not all small churches of course, but most. I would strongly suggest seeking out a calvary chapel. I have been to different ones in Arizona, Massachusettes, Montana, Washington, and they are all full of loving people.
I have more to say but I'm curious where you are first?


Marc

 

[servant4ever]

Hello Marc,

I will send you a PM of where I am located. I do attend a very large church (5,000 average attendance a weekend), but I do like the church services, and I am in agreemnent with their doctrine and their vision for reaching the city they are located in.

servant4ever

 

[desi]

Hello everybody,

I need to know, will He forgive me? If He won't, I will not kill myself, I have been trying to feel better for 2 1/2 years, I'm just ready to be done with life. I'm sick of everything in my life going wrong. Please respond.

servant4ever

Since you put it that way servant4ever, of course he won't forgive you. Alas, you have to live another day.

 

[marc]

There is definitely nothing worse than eating at restorants alone. An awesome brother in the Lord told me something one time that I'll never forget. 10 step plan to get yourself out of depression. 1 do something for somebody else. 2 repeat 9 more times. Doing something for someone else takes the focus off you.
When I first moved to where I am now I had a hard time adjusting to the new church I'm at because it is large. I came from a congregation of 50 adults plus children to a congregation of 1000. 1000 isn't that big but it sure was a shock. I felt so alone. After much prayer and confusion I finally realized what was going on. It was like I said, everyone thinks you are with someone else. Now I make sure that I don't assume that of others and I seek to learn there needs rather than wait on them to fill mine. When I'm done I realize my needs were met at the same time. Seek out a small bible study at someones house. I would actually suggest one with people a little older. Everyone your age has so many concerns of there own that they aren't going to give you the time of day. Oh by the way, it's great that your church teaches the word and evangelizes, but that doesn't help you. I would bet if you took a serious attempt to reach out a hand to some people at the church you will find someone to help. I say older, because some of my older friends were and are the greatest mentors God has ever given me. The reason I say smaller church is because you don't need to do the bible study thing, you will get the needed compassion at a sunday service.

go ahead your turn

Marc

 

[tj179]

Im not sure how many times you stated the word alone in your last post but you need to realize that if you are truly born-again, Meaning you have repented for your sins and you belive in your heart that Jesus is the Son of God and is alive then you are never alone.
You can go on feeling sorry for yourself or you can seek God with all your heart and He will be sure to answer you.
I lost my wife of 14 years in Feb of 2003. She left me with our 2 kids and a ton of bills to have an affair. She is still gone today and I love her with all my heart. My focus was on winning her back for months after she left. I was miserable. I thought of ending it. Thats when I realized that was Gods way of teaching me to focus on Him alone. Today I still love my wife but I focus on the Lord and I am happy again. Sure I have bad days but joy comes again quickly.
I saw a billboard the other day that makes it clear.
Focus
Anticipate
Commitment
Focus on only God and not the world or your flesh
Anticipate (meaning wait on God) Remember His timing is always perfect
Commit to serving Him with all your heart mind and soul
I can tell you that this is the only way out of your situation and I hope that you will look to the almighty creator for help. Who would know how to help us more than the one who created us?
A phrase I will never forget is (in times of trouble do you run to the phone or run to the throne)
Father in Heaven I pray that servant4ever would totally submit his life to you Lord. I can understand what he is going through as I was there. I pray that you Lord would reach down with your loving arms and hold Him until he is ready to walk again on his own. I ask this in the name of Jesus and will give You all the praise honor and glory Father Amen

 

[marc]

Im not sure how many times you stated the word alone in your last post but you need to realize that if you are truly born-again, Meaning you have repented for your sins and you belive in your heart that Jesus is the Son of God and is alive then you are never alone.
You can go on feeling sorry for yourself or you can seek God with all your heart and He will be sure to answer you.
I lost my wife of 14 years in Feb of 2003. She left me with our 2 kids and a ton of bills to have an affair. She is still gone today and I love her with all my heart. My focus was on winning her back for months after she left. I was miserable. I thought of ending it. Thats when I realized that was Gods way of teaching me to focus on Him alone. Today I still love my wife but I focus on the Lord and I am happy again. Sure I have bad days but joy comes again quickly.
I saw a billboard the other day that makes it clear.
Focus
Anticipate
Commitment
Focus on only God and not the world or your flesh
Anticipate (meaning wait on God) Remember His timing is always perfect
Commit to serving Him with all your heart mind and soul
I can tell you that this is the only way out of your situation and I hope that you will look to the almighty creator for help. Who would know how to help us more than the one who created us?
A phrase I will never forget is (in times of trouble do you run to the phone or run to the throne)
Father in Heaven I pray that servant4ever would totally submit his life to you Lord. I can understand what he is going through as I was there. I pray that you Lord would reach down with your loving arms and hold Him until he is ready to walk again on his own. I ask this in the name of Jesus and will give You all the praise honor and glory Father Amen

Right on brother, the Holy Spirt just spoke through you!

 

[urbanfaerie]

i'm not gonna lie to you, i personally think our God is a forgiving, loving God, who would understand and even forgive a suicide.

that's not to say you should go out and kill urself. because it would cheat not only ur family and friends past, present and future, but God. for he put u on this earth to serve him. it;d be a slap in the face if u threw all u had going for u away.

call a hot line. 1-800-suicide

seek help, when ur in this condition, u don't want to take the chances of seeing how strong or u are. get urself to a ER

life does get better.

 

[desi]

Servant4ever you have to look in the mirror, see what Jesus made, and find value in yourself-it is there. There is something(s) about you which are unique and beautiful. I don't care how bad your problems are someone else has been worse off and made a good life for themselves but the first step is loving yourself by accepting who you are. Look at Michael Jackson. He looked good and was popular, talented and made lots of money. Yet he refused to accept himself so he screwed himself up trying to make himself perfect, in his eyes, through surgery. Then look at President FDR, crippled by polio yet he managed to become President of the United States of America for several terms. As a handicapped person you may have more to deal with than other people but don't think you can't reach whatever goals you set. With God on your side you can't lose.

 

[servant4ever]

Hello marc,

The thing is, I truly put people before me. I offer to drive them across town at 6:00 in the morning (this is a pretty big metropolitan area I live in, 45 minutes to get across town...). I offer to pay for things for my roommates. I set aside time that I should be studying so I could talk to people, yet I feel so worthless and alone (I will try to watch my count on the word 'alone'). I am embarrassed to tell God how I feel, because Christians are not supposed to be like this, according to my family. If a person is depressed, they should be locked up in a mental hospital. I am going to a counselor, after 4 months I am still scared of what they will think of me if I tell them I am thinking of harming myself, so I just tell them I had thoughts, but I put them away...

servant4ever

oh yeah... desi, are you just saying that so I don't do it? If it is the fact, please give Biblical passages...

 

[desi]

oh yeah... desi, are you just saying that so I don't do it? If it is the fact, please give Biblical passages...

You got me. I'm just trying to convince you to stick around. Knowing you are a debater makes you more valuable in my eyes because I've spent time arguing for God in apologetics and know how exhausting it can be. Most Christians don't have the stomach for it.

 

[marc]

She is not just saying that. If you are forgiven, then you are forgiven. God doesn't care if it is a lie or murder or suicide, they are all sins and that's why He died. If you are truly born of the Spirit you are sealed by the Spirit and written in the book of life.
John 8:44 "...When he speaks a lie he speaks of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it."
1 Cor 14:33 "for God is not a God of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints."

You are being lied to and you are confused. Where do you think the source is? God? Our glorious Father in Heaven? I don't think so.
Please forget about pleasing your parents and please God! Let God worry about your parents. My parents are divorced and my mother isn't a believer and my dad is a non-believing roman catholic. Do you think I get any support from them when I go home telling them about Jesus. By the way did I mention that they are in massachusettes and I'm in Washington. Seek out a family in the Church that is going to love you with Christ's love. They are there I know they are, but you must reach out to them and say, listen I need help. Just like you did here. And be serious so they know you are serious.
Look at all the encouragement you are getting from these other brothers and sisters. Praise God. It's to bad we could all get together right no and worship the Lord.
Check out the life of Paul if you want to complain. 2 Cor 11:23 "...I more so in far more labors, in far more imprisonments, beaten times without number, often in danger of death. Five times I received from the Jews thirty-nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, a night and a day I have spent in the deep. I have been on frequent journeys, in dangers from rivers, dangers from robbers, dangers from my countrymen, dangers from the gentiles, dangers in the city, dangers in the wilderness, dangers on the sea, dangers among false brethren. I have been in labor and hardship, through many sleepless nights, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. Apart from such external things there is the daily pressure on me of concern for all the churches.

Are you absolutely sure you are born again. Have you asked God to fill you with His Holy Spirit? Has he? Even if He has, ask Him again for it right now.
God love's you so much and He has awesome plans for you if you will give it to Him. Become a servant. Read the psalms, David complained all the time, read the life of the prophets, so did they. It's not easy. It's is call by Jesus "dying to yourself and following Him" When you come out of this God is going to be able to use you to bless others who are struggling.

In Christ
Marc

 

[servant4ever]

Yes, I am a born-again Christian. I received Christ 8 years ago when I was in youth group. I just feel like crying, I just want some friends that are humans, I know Jesus is a friend, but I want some friends here on earth. I think I will just give it a go for at least a week, I am committing that I will not seriously think of killing myself for this week. Thanks to everyone that sent me PM's, I will try to rely on God more tonight, and this week.

servant4ever

 

[Silent Enigma]

Your situation sound similar to the one I was in a number of years ago--

Hello Marc,

I feel so alone. I attend college 4 hours away from home, which is neither good or bad. My family rejects me, they are Christians, but my parents are too overprotective and literally don't let me have freedom when I am home, and if they found out I feel depressed, I will be considerred "crazy." Here at school I have no friends. My only "friend" I had from my freshman year, which was last year, I am a sophomore, he told me I have never been a friend of his. I try to seek friends, but it seems like no one cares for me, which saddens me since this is a Christian school. I am in counseling, but it isn't working. All I did tonight, a Friday night, is go to a fast food restaurant for dinner, and just sit here in my room, while all my roommates are out with friends, none of them inviting me along. I do everything alone. I go to lunch and dinner together. I watch movies by myself. I go to concerts and similar events alone. I even go to church alone, even though many college students from the same school go to the church I attend, there is not one "college" section, we are all spread out among the worship center, and no one has ever invited me to sit by them. I just feel so alone, I don't think it would make any difference if I was here or not. I guess it would, it would save people money and time and energy if I wasn't here.

servant4ever

I lived at a (secular) college, exactly 4 hours from home. I had no friends there, except for my girlfriend (not attending the college) who was very depressed at the time, in a weird frantic sort of way. Although at the time I was an atheist. I was very lonely and depressed, was on Paxil for a while (that junk didn't work). And likewise, counseling didn't solve anything.

I will say that I am very glad that I stuck through it. Life is completely different now. I did eventually quit college, and changed career paths.

As for your question of whether you would go to hell, I haven't been able to find a definite answer in scripture, but it would be a self-murder in a sense and it is not something you'd want to experiment and try out. Considering what is at stake!

And realistically, you can't expect to remain friendless forever.

Hope this helps.

 

[tj179]

Maybe you should think of how many non believers would stay there by witnessing a man who is suppose to be a born-again believer in Christ end his life. Do any of us want to be responsable for someone going to hell because of our actions? I know I dont and I dont care that I have no friends. I have eternal life with Christ and that is enough to get me through this short miserable life here on earth. The non friends you can be a witness to who may accept Christ will surely be your friends in Heaven. Think about it !!
Use the spirit that dwells within you.

 

[puriteen18]

Dear servent4ever,

I am heartbroken to hear of your situation. I will commit to pray for you, as I am sure everyone else has.

Remember that you are not your own possesion, but that you are God's creation. Only He has the right to give and take life. It would be sin to kill yourself.

Also remember that (if you are a Christian) that your body is the Temple of His Holy Spirit. Cutting your body would be defaning the temple.

I don't want to make you doubt your salvation or anything, but it does seem that a true Christian would not murder herself. You know there are many out there who think that they are saved when they're not. Just praying the "sinner's prayer" does not save.

Salvation (like everything else) is entirely in the power of God. It is not gained by prayers or works of our own. It is soley by the grace of our Lord.

II Peter 1
10 Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall:

I would advice with all love that you would give all diligence to make your calling and election sure.

There are some which I have found most helpful myself. I would plead with you to listen to them. The address is www.heartcrymissionary.com. The sermons can be downloaded free. They are listed under the Downloads: Audio section. Each sermon last about an hour. There are 4 in a conference series. I know that seems like alot, but I promise that the truths in these are too wonderful to miss. I would suggest listening to one a day. (It might also be a good idea to take notes.) The preacher is Brother Paul Washer. He is a Baptist missionary to several countries. Please, I urge you in the Name of God, listen to these!

I desire to help you all that I can, so I will sent you a private message telling my location. If I am anywhere nearby, please contact me.

May God save you from all harm.

 

[Risen Tree]

Hello marc,

The thing is, I truly put people before me. I offer to drive them across town at 6:00 in the morning (this is a pretty big metropolitan area I live in, 45 minutes to get across town...). I offer to pay for things for my roommates. I set aside time that I should be studying so I could talk to people, yet I feel so worthless and alone (I will try to watch my count on the word 'alone'). I am embarrassed to tell God how I feel, because Christians are not supposed to be like this, according to my family. If a person is depressed, they should be locked up in a mental hospital. I am going to a counselor, after 4 months I am still scared of what they will think of me if I tell them I am thinking of harming myself, so I just tell them I had thoughts, but I put them away...

servant4ever

oh yeah... desi, are you just saying that so I don't do it? If it is the fact, please give Biblical passages...

Let me guess. You do a lot for your friends, family, and neighbors. You sacrifice yourself in ways many people would dread because of complications with their egos. And for all of this, you receive little to no thanks in return. Right?

 

[servant4ever]

Let me guess. You do a lot for your friends, family, and neighbors. You sacrifice yourself in ways many people would dread because of complications with their egos. And for all of this, you receive little to no thanks in return. Right?

Correct...