It's been a year now since I confronted my wife about her affair and her initial response was that she didn't want to be married. She said the marriage felt more like a friendship than a marriage and I told her that's no reason to get divorced that's something we can work on, especially considering we have two children together ages two and four. She maintained her affair, went a cruise with the man promising the whole time she wasn't sleeping with him, though I knew in my gut she was. Three months after the cruise I find out she was pregnant with his child.
I had been praying for restoration or direction but at this point I was ready for divorce. After considering how I could not divorce legally I began to think about this child's life and how it would have no chance without me in it's life due to the mother not being able to support herself and the lover being addicted to drugs, unemployed, and initially tried to get her to have a divorce. So I tell my wife the same thing I told her months ago that we can still try to salvage the marriage but she has to end her affair, and I would raise this child as my own. She still claims she does not want a relationship with this man yet she still talks to him everyday, and says that she does care for him. I told her when the baby was born I would establish paternity (though it's about 95% certain it's not mine) and file for divorce if she did not make efforts to reconcile and end her affair. I want more than anything to keep my family together but I know I cannot make someone change. She claims she wants our family back together but she still won't end her affair and I believe she wants me back in her life because I have a history of cleaning things up and she knows life would be easier.
I thank God so much for the abundance of peace he has provided me in the past year and I feel closer to God than ever but I am conflicted. I know God hates divorce and I believe God allows divorce but never requires it. That being said, I feel more apprehensive about staying and waiting for her to get her head straight, and more peace about a decision to divorce her because God has greater things planned for my life. Is it even conceivable that God is leading me to divorce or am I following my thoughts?
I had been praying for restoration or direction but at this point I was ready for divorce. After considering how I could not divorce legally I began to think about this child's life and how it would have no chance without me in it's life due to the mother not being able to support herself and the lover being addicted to drugs, unemployed, and initially tried to get her to have a divorce. So I tell my wife the same thing I told her months ago that we can still try to salvage the marriage but she has to end her affair, and I would raise this child as my own. She still claims she does not want a relationship with this man yet she still talks to him everyday, and says that she does care for him. I told her when the baby was born I would establish paternity (though it's about 95% certain it's not mine) and file for divorce if she did not make efforts to reconcile and end her affair. I want more than anything to keep my family together but I know I cannot make someone change. She claims she wants our family back together but she still won't end her affair and I believe she wants me back in her life because I have a history of cleaning things up and she knows life would be easier.
I thank God so much for the abundance of peace he has provided me in the past year and I feel closer to God than ever but I am conflicted. I know God hates divorce and I believe God allows divorce but never requires it. That being said, I feel more apprehensive about staying and waiting for her to get her head straight, and more peace about a decision to divorce her because God has greater things planned for my life. Is it even conceivable that God is leading me to divorce or am I following my thoughts?