- Sep 29, 2022
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What's "love" (Romance) got to do with it?
First off, I want to say that I absolutely love romance. I've always loved it. I'm a romantic at heart. I'm in my 40s and I still
cry and sob at romance flicks from the 90s and 00s...some of my favorites like Serendipity, The Family Man, The Note Book, Titanic, The Time Traveler's Wife, Notting Hill,
and more.
But my mentor once said that what does love (romance) have to do with marriage? It is not Biblical based or founded. Yes there were people in the Bible who were probably romantically in love (I suppose Song of Songs and stuff like that) but for the most part, marriages and being in love had nothing to do with romance. If the Bible doesn't say romance is important or even part of what a marriage and loving relationship should be, then I guess romance (love) is really not relevant. However, since we live in the modern/post-modern age, we have made love and marriage out to be a "romantic" thing as the most important and key ingredient to love.
So my question is, just to put it to the test, how many of you or do you know anyone that married someone that they were NOT romantically attracted to, but married SOLELY for the purpose of being Christ-like to your wife, just as Christ loved the church. In other words, is there anyone out there that can fully admit that they never married someone because of romance but they married someone simply because God commands us to love one another and honor, serve, care for, sacrifice, sanctify, edify, and bring someone to faith? This would mean that we literally shouldn't have any preferences as to who we marry because we should pretty much be able to love ANYONE and marry that person for the sake of Christ and modeling a marriage that glorifies Christ and raising and godly family. It sounds all perfect and peachy, like agape love, supreme love, but I don't really believe people operate in this way at least initially. Maybe after being married for 20, 30, 40 years and you no longer had have any romantic interests in your partner, but you simply love them with the love of Christ and have that "mature" love that everyone actually should have or attain to that level one day.
So then, why, even amongst Christians, are we still being judged and evaluated based on "romantic" compatibility (ie. he has to be tall, beautiful eyes, good skin, strong, great head of hair, smart, charming, confident, etc). instead of simply being chosen based on your love for Christ, your wisdom, your servant heart to the church and to other people, your characters and values all grounded in Christ? Why isn't that good enough for some Christian women still?
First off, I want to say that I absolutely love romance. I've always loved it. I'm a romantic at heart. I'm in my 40s and I still
cry and sob at romance flicks from the 90s and 00s...some of my favorites like Serendipity, The Family Man, The Note Book, Titanic, The Time Traveler's Wife, Notting Hill,
and more.
But my mentor once said that what does love (romance) have to do with marriage? It is not Biblical based or founded. Yes there were people in the Bible who were probably romantically in love (I suppose Song of Songs and stuff like that) but for the most part, marriages and being in love had nothing to do with romance. If the Bible doesn't say romance is important or even part of what a marriage and loving relationship should be, then I guess romance (love) is really not relevant. However, since we live in the modern/post-modern age, we have made love and marriage out to be a "romantic" thing as the most important and key ingredient to love.
So my question is, just to put it to the test, how many of you or do you know anyone that married someone that they were NOT romantically attracted to, but married SOLELY for the purpose of being Christ-like to your wife, just as Christ loved the church. In other words, is there anyone out there that can fully admit that they never married someone because of romance but they married someone simply because God commands us to love one another and honor, serve, care for, sacrifice, sanctify, edify, and bring someone to faith? This would mean that we literally shouldn't have any preferences as to who we marry because we should pretty much be able to love ANYONE and marry that person for the sake of Christ and modeling a marriage that glorifies Christ and raising and godly family. It sounds all perfect and peachy, like agape love, supreme love, but I don't really believe people operate in this way at least initially. Maybe after being married for 20, 30, 40 years and you no longer had have any romantic interests in your partner, but you simply love them with the love of Christ and have that "mature" love that everyone actually should have or attain to that level one day.
So then, why, even amongst Christians, are we still being judged and evaluated based on "romantic" compatibility (ie. he has to be tall, beautiful eyes, good skin, strong, great head of hair, smart, charming, confident, etc). instead of simply being chosen based on your love for Christ, your wisdom, your servant heart to the church and to other people, your characters and values all grounded in Christ? Why isn't that good enough for some Christian women still?