What to expect?

[chris414]

Hey everyone

Me and my gf have recently enjoyed our one year anniversary I've seen a lot of threads on CF about what you can expect when you're just starting a relationship, but then not much afterwards. I've always been able to imagine what it would be like to have a girlfriend up until about a year (this is my first relationship btw) but after that i just am completely lost and have no clue what to expect... I have no reason to expect anything to change or anything and i know every relationship is unique, but i supose i'm just wondering if there was anything noticeably different in others' relationships after one year which might be helpful for me to know eg. did you fight a lot? or was it easier? etc etc

Sorry for the ramble
Chris

 

[ImperialPhantom]

Forget imagination. What has your relationship been like up to this point? What have the goods and bads been?

 

[chris414]

Forget imagination. What has your relationship been like up to this point? What have the goods and bads been?

We've had one or two bad periods around 4months and 8months and obviously the infatuation fades after the first few weeks / months, but the majority of the time it has been really great We have an incredibly intimate relationship and (as cliched as it sounds) are undoubtedly each other's best friends. We have been really good problem solvers and have gotten the relationship to the point where we can bring up *any* (and i mean ANY) issue or concern regarding the relationship without having to worry about the other's reaction. We understand each other on nearly every level as well.

 

[miss_klara]

I think that once you've past the 'infatuation phase', as you call it, nobody else can really define your relationship. It starts to become your own, and what you put in is what you get out. As cliche as I'm being now - every relationship is unique!
I think the best thing I can tell you is that once you've been together a while, it can get very easy to just get lazy/complacent. Keep treating every day as a new day in the relationship - not "just another day". Try to look at each other with a fresh perspective, learn what each other really likes and do this for them as often as possible. I think complacency is one of the biggest dangers in a long-term relationship.

 

[puddleoffaith]

Well, I'm not at the one year mark but I have noticed that once the infatuation dies down, the relationship can get stale. Especially if you don't have much in common. I think that once you hit the one year mark, you need to seriously consider whether you are likely to marry this person because of the large time/energy/general commitement.

 

[HopeFaithLove4u]

We've had one or two bad periods around 4months and 8months and obviously the infatuation fades after the first few weeks / months, but the majority of the time it has been really great We have an incredibly intimate relationship and (as cliched as it sounds) are undoubtedly each other's best friends. We have been really good problem solvers and have gotten the relationship to the point where we can bring up *any* (and i mean ANY) issue or concern regarding the relationship without having to worry about the other's reaction. We understand each other on nearly every level as well.

just expect more of that and to grow closer as you deal with each issue that may arise.

I think that once you've past the 'infatuation phase', as you call it, nobody else can really define your relationship. It starts to become your own, and what you put in is what you get out. As cliche as I'm being now - every relationship is unique!
I think the best thing I can tell you is that once you've been together a while, it can get very easy to just get lazy/complacent. Keep treating every day as a new day in the relationship - not "just another day". Try to look at each other with a fresh perspective, learn what each other really likes and do this for them as often as possible. I think complacency is one of the biggest dangers in a long-term relationship.

I agree.

But, I also wanted to add (being as I'm 40 and have alot of relationship/marriage experience).....do NOT expect to be the same as you are now. (I think you're age says you're 18?) You and your gf will do alot of changing over time, you guys will not be the same people you are right now, so leave room for each of you to grow. You may grow closer together OR you may grow apart, everyone is different. But, just be aware that you will change, thru time, and how each handles the changes will be the deciding factor on how strong your RL will be.

 

[Bootstrap]

You know, my girlfriend and I have been dating for 2 1/2 years, and I'm still feeling wildly infatuated....

Jonathan

 

[K9_Trainer]

We've only been together 8 months, but I'm still wildly infatuated about my boyfriend too Actually, we haven't even had an argument. Our personalities work together so well that we work out "problems" without even knowing it.

I pretty much agree with the above posters....It's time to start deciding whether you can see yourself married to this young woman. Look at what you have in common, the passions you share and the things you love to do together. If there aren't a lot, is that going to be a problem? Is the love you have for each other strong enough to allow you to each go out and do your own activities, follow your own passions, while supporting each other? For some, that's not a problem at all. For others, it is. It's time to decide.

 

[seabe]

Prayer is the key!!!
Nothing is easy, but prayer is possible to turn every situation around.