What Liberals Don’t Understand About Men and Marriage

[Michie]

• We have new evidence that, culturally, men who embrace the institution of marriage are much more likely to become fathers and devoted dads.TWEET THIS
• Men who still value marriage are not only more likely, today, to get married, but also to become fathers and live with their kids.TWEET THIS
• The difference between the average weekly hours of direct care that married fathers with children at home provide for their kids versus that provided by nonresident dads is staggering.TWEET THIS

There’s no question the bond between fatherhood and marriage is weaker today than it was 60 years ago. Whereas almost 80% of children were raised in an intact, married home with their father in the early 1960s, today only about 51% have that privilege. In the face of what seems like a fraying father-marriage bond, some left-leaning men’s advocates like Richard Reeves would like us to accommodate this family dynamic.

According to Reeves, the author of the recent book, Of Boys and Men, we are supposed to make our peace with the attenuated bond between marriage and fatherhood, understanding this is “the world we live in,” one “we had better make the best of” — and build a new norm of engaged fatherhood apart from wedlock.

“The goal then is to bolster the role of fathers as direct providers of care to their children, whether or not they are married to or even living with the mother,” argues Reeves. He believes that all fathers have a “moral obligation to be the best fathers they can be” regardless of their marital status.

We agree with Reeves about this obligation: fatherhood matters even if a marriage never took place or breaks down, and “becoming a divorced man can never be an excuse for being a deadbeat dad.”

But the quest to accommodate the culture’s anti-nuptial drift and build a new fatherhood norm apart from marriage is quixotic. That’s because not only is there a veritable chasm between married fathers and never-married fathers when it comes to their involvement and engagement with children today, but we have new evidence that, culturally, men who embrace the institution of marriage are much more likely to become fathers in the first place — and devoted dads in the second place.

To wit, the very men who reject the low view of marriage held by liberals are the ones most likely today to become dads and actually provide care for their children.

But, first, let’s consider a new Institute for Family Studies report by Wendy Wang on the links between marriage, residence and fatherhood involvement. How much are never-married and nonresident dads serving as “direct providers of care to their children,” compared to married dads?

Continued below.

What Liberals Don’t Understand About Men and Marriage

There’s no question the bond between fatherhood and marriage is weaker today than it was 60 years ago. Whereas almost 80% of children were raised in an intact, married home with their father in the early 1960s, today only about 51% have that privilege. In the face of what seems like a fraying...

ifstudies.org

 

[RDKirk]

And in other news, a study has proven that water is wet. Well, of course, men who already believe in marriage and fatherhood are more represented among men who get married, have children, and become involved fathers.

Reeves, however, makes a typical Liberal error in his regard of fatherhood. I see white Liberals making this same mistake in their view of black Americans: They look at where we are and think that defines who we are.

In disagreement with that kind of thinking, no, we should not change our aspiration to accommodate our situation. Reeves, 60 years ago, would be a Liberal who says, "Let's make segregation more comfortable for black people."

 

[RileyG]

Marriage is good for men. There is plenty of evidence that back it up, regardless of what liberals think.

 

[rambot]

Honestly, a lot of women are also realizing they'd rather be by themselves than be with a low quality partner. Feminism has taught them that they dont have to suffer abuse of a mental emotional or physical type. It's okay to be a single female and it's desirable to be one over being saddled with a loser male.

If men want to be married, they have to make themselves respectful, desirable, and now how to treat a partner well.

 

[RDKirk]

Honestly, a lot of women are also realizing they'd rather be by themselves than be with a low quality partner. Feminism has taught them that they dont have to suffer abuse of a mental emotional or physical type. It's okay to be a single female and it's desirable to be one over being saddled with a loser male.

If men want to be married, they have to make themselves respectful, desirable, and now how to treat a partner well.

But are you talking about 1923 men or 2023 Millennial men?

And if 2023 Millennial men are not worth marrying...then why not? They were raised and educated more by women and with far less of the "patriarchal taint" of their fathers than any other previous generation.

 

[WarriorAngel]

Honestly, a lot of women are also realizing they'd rather be by themselves than be with a low quality partner. Feminism has taught them that they dont have to suffer abuse of a mental emotional or physical type. It's okay to be a single female and it's desirable to be one over being saddled with a loser male.

If men want to be married, they have to make themselves respectful, desirable, and now how to treat a partner well.

60% of women are abused of all abuse stats.
40% are men being abused by abuse stats.

[Typically men do not report it so the stats could be higher.]
I'm convinced the stats are higher due to 'feminism' aka 'Hear me roar, or beat you, or humiliate you, or gossip about you....'
And men are terrified of either being abused or [as the abuser might will say their reactive abuse is their fault] lose everybody they know because the woman tells it differently.

I was abused.
I made excuses til I could do it no more.

But I don't maintain all men are abusive and I would hope not all men think women abuse.
You seem to be generalizing and honestly, that doesn't help your healing.
Pray forgiveness, pray for healing in the name of Jesus because truly that's so important.

 

[rambot]

60% of women are abused of all abuse stats.
40% are men being abused by abuse stats.

Not quite. Of 3 abuse victims 2 will be women, one will be a man.
Or,

Focusing on intimate partner violence since every talking about relationships.

[Typically men do not report it so the stats could be higher.]
I'm convinced the stats are higher due to 'feminism' aka 'Hear me roar, or beat you, or humiliate you, or gossip about you....'

Tou ha e a terrible understanding about feminism

And men are terrified of either being abused or [as the abuser might will say their reactive abuse is their fault] lose everybody they know because the woman tells it differently.

Well are to You sure your data excludes violence in gay relationships.

I was abused.
I made excuses til I could do it no more.

But I don't maintain all men are abusive and I would hope not all men think women abuse.
You seem to be generalizing and honestly, that doesn't help your healing.
Pray forgiveness, pray for healing in the name of Jesus because truly that's so important.

I dont think all men are. But just because someone isn't physically abusive doesn't mean they are a good, caring, nurturing partner.