What is this - and how should I respond?

[Benjamin Hirt]

I have been going through some very tumultuous times as a result of a call received by the Lord, beginning in my 18th year and persisting until now. I am 58 (40years). I have been running from it for a variety of reasons, the greatest of which is my birth family.

This family has been destroyed before it was even formed. You may suggest everyone goes through what I have, and all family is like this. This would be lie, based on ignorance of the full story, which I am writing, and will exceed 1,000 pages when published.

The summary is: Someone said, in writing, multiple times in a day, that my faith is false, my ministry is false, and everything I claim the Holy Spirit is doing in my life is really from Satan. Exact words. Then 14 years later, exact same life situation for me as 2004 on a spiritual level but greatly magnified, during a pure heart attempt at reconciliation after decades of hate in my family, she not only refused my request for forgiveness without rubbing my face in my sin to the point of triggering a PTSD response in me, because I allowed myself to be humiliated a little to restore my birth family.

IN the end, she again said, multiple times, that my faith is false, of Satan, that my ministry is false, of Satan, then multiplied that sin by attributing those words to my dad on his deathbed, and my other sister by way of being her "official" mouth piece in the NEGOTIATION to forgive.

I have all of this in writing by her own hand. I feel she has condemned herself repeatedly to blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, especially when I was using scripture to correct her false judgements and evil venomous accusation that my very faith is false.

I then made a video and posted publicly renouncing my birth name, and condemning my birth family (not Dad), as having committed the unpardonable sin, turning them over to satan, excommunicating them from my life for 60 years of


this.

God is calling me to a marvelous ministry, and I cannot allow my birth family to hold me back from my call again. I claimed Gen 12:3, and I have had 24 hours of pure peace since.

I have documented evidence to support what I presented here but will not publish it for public consumption due to the deeply personal nature of the content.

From a biblical perspective, I excommunicated my unchurched family from the Kingdom of Heaven because despite saying Lord Lord,He told me he never knew them. They will be the example of what is to come, and I will be his shepherd to understand truth.

 

[MartyF]

I will be blunt.

I know little to nothing about your family or what's happening, but I can tell there is no love in your writing.

You claim that your family has done awful things to you. How many times have you forgiven them? Yet, you are angry when they don't forgive you?

How is airing you family problems helping God? Do you really think God cares if sins are documented?

First, you judge them in the harshest possible way - claiming that they have blasphemed against the Holy Spirit.

Second, you elevate yourself to Abraham, claiming that something said to him was to you?

Then you make yourself like God - claiming the power to kick people out of His Kingdom of Heaven.

I hope you repent.

 

[Benjamin Hirt]

Actually, sir i am very at peace.

Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is saying that the work of the Holy Spirit is in fact the work of Satan. She did this dozens of times, in writing, "your faith is of Satan" but that which is faith is from the Holy Spirit, thus calling my faith from satan is attributing the work of the Holy Spirit to Satan. Exact what she did. 14 years apart through multiple repeated writings.

If we have faith in Christ, we are children of Abraham, and God spoke those words to Abraham and his offspring, so yes, God also spoke those words to me.

I have nothing to repent. How does freedom come to a person renouncing his family to serve the Lord? Have you actually read the bible, Sir?

Perhaps you need to repent for false judgement from blind eyes and insufficient information.

 

[akaDaScribe]

Actually, sir i am very at peace.

Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is saying that the work of the Holy Spirit is in fact the work of Satan. She did this dozens of times, in writing, "your faith is of Satan" but that which is faith is from the Holy Spirit, thus calling my faith from satan is attributing the work of the Holy Spirit to Satan. Exact what she did. 14 years apart through multiple repeated writings.

If we have faith in Christ, we are children of Abraham, and God spoke those words to Abraham and his offspring, so yes, God also spoke those words to me.

I have nothing to repent. How does freedom come to a person renouncing his family to serve the Lord? Have you actually read the bible, Sir?

Perhaps you need to repent for false judgement from blind eyes and insufficient information.

I'm not sure what your question is or what you are looking for based on your OP. Marty has valid points. Based on what you've said, it looks like you have a lot of poison you need to work through before you consider launching a ministry.

 

[Benjamin Hirt]

You are correct, except for one thing. There WAS a lot of venom - all coming from them. I kept what she/they wrote specifically for the purpose to defend my position.

I do see your point, however. I lived with constant venom for my faith - literally using the words "your faith is from Satan" ever since I started understanding what Jesus meant as a young boy. But after a PTSD generation traumatic event.

You are right - but you need to understand the whole picture, and it is just way to huge to put in this little space. But a biographical novel is in the works to put it all together with backing from Scripture.

It started with: I said I'm sorry for some horrible things I did, - I had not had any communication in over a decade. Last time I did, she said, "Your faith is from Satan!" in writing, in words. Several times. I assumed then and charged then Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit.

I am going through a time, with major initiatives for the ministry already being provisioned for in impossible yet supernatural ways. I cannot explain it. So I think, "I need to get my house in order before I can work on God's house for him." pertaining to my call.

So I think to myself, maybe I was wrong. Maybe she didn't commit that unpardonable sin. So I reach out. I apologize. And since I had sinned greatly against my other sis, and this one had contact, I asked her to send my apology to her as well.

Well, it was't enough. I had to go find what i did, read it, eat it, deficate it (forgive me but figuratively this is exactly what happened). Then do it again. And again. And Again. There is no such thing as conditional forgiveness, and the level she rubbed it all in my face from years go triggered a severe PTDS reaction that lasted a full night and next day. It was near fatal.

Then God revealed to me that the reason I had to see this was to confirm the condemnation he gave them years ago, and I had to see it for myself, and renounce all relationship with them in order to move into my ministry calling. He confirmed in no uncertain terms that this was the right thing to do.

What is probably my sin in this is asking this particular (or any) forum about it, and just left it between me and God.

But then, I am going to stand against massive persecution in my ministry, so - nail me all you want. He needs me prepared.

May the Peace of Christ be with you, in proportion to the correctness of your own hearts. My house is nearly cleaned. Just waiting for his provision for the final cleansing.

 

[Benjamin Hirt]

Let me add this one note:

Since I did that - the renunciation of my family, and as directed by God, I was flooded with a peace so great, so powerful, that all my worldly desires totally vanished in the blink of an eye, and this ministry has consumed me. I speak to my wife as if the provisioning is done and we are already taking the next major step. She asked me how can i talk like that, like it is already a done deal. I said I've been given Abrahamic type of faith, and can just "see" it, just as he saw his nation God promised.

And the peace.

I have PTSD, IED (Intermittent Explosive Disorder) and have had some incredibly bad IED episodes the past six months, like never before. Anguished over the hate in my family. The trauma suffered through life. Just hours before this peace my wife and I were fighting like it was going to be our last day together ever.

I have not had one single solitary flinch of IED-type reaction since my renunciation. I damned the venom right out of my life as the Lord commanded. If they do not want to received his forgiveness, we are to remove it from them. Excommunication.

But if saying Jesus threw demons out by the prince of demons instead of the power of the Holy Spirit, is not that the same as saying repeatedly that my very faith is of Satan, not of the Holy Spirit?

Yet I gave free and unconditional forgiveness, and I had to rub the venom in my own face a thousand times, just because I decided I should allow one or two levels of humility. Then when I do say a prayer, I'm not even going to go with what she said, i would be banned instantly just for repeating it.


I'm not the one spewing the venom. I'm the one taking the bites. I decided to get the hell out of that viper pit with portals directly to the depths of hell (let me explain what is known about my sister nationally - when she walks into a courtroom with a client <not an atty, an advocate>, the prosecution urinates in their pants -that is the power of evil she has), as do some judges. So it is published.

Do you know my heart? Can you truly tell in my typing? I assure you that you cannot - i have a harsh and blunt writing style - offensive to most. Aside from that, there is no lie in what I write. However I live by Gal 1:10 as well, and not, nor ever will be, apt to look for anyone's approval on earth.

 

[Benjamin Hirt]

tangent, not note? LOL

 

[akaDaScribe]

Hi Mark,

I don't question your walk or your experiences because I've seen too many things to think I can completely understand another person's path.

Given the information that you've given and the disorder that you've talked about, I do have some advice for you, that you can bring back to God for consideration.

Your best recourse is to let go of your past with your family. It if you can't always control what you say, the solution is to have nothing to say. Let God deal with them as He sees fit and do not regard their fate one way or another. In simplest terms, disconnect from them the whole history and free yourself from the rage it brings you, so that rage cannot be used against you.

Vengeance and judgement belong to God, so let Him have them and you move on knowing that he will deal with it and hoping He will mold them to work for His good and that one day you will see each other in a crowd when you get to heaven.

 

[Benjamin Hirt]

Thank you akaD - very wise and just advice. I did teh second, by the renunciation for certain. Turned out to be a test by God to see if my family was more important than Jesus, since I have ached for decades for peace in my family. It is not to be.

The judgment is pure - right, and Holy. I have seen just too many verses to confirm this in the past two days. So, as I have said, if they come repentant in heart, AND GOD shows me without doubt, cool, they can come back.

But this particular thing - it is not something that they actually are capable to come back from.

Understand this was not condemnation on them, it was refusing satanic condemnation on me, and simply handing them over to Satan as God demands for such unrepentant as these.

 

[akaDaScribe]

May the Lord consume you with overwhelming peace and joy. May the Lord use your zeal to do great things in His name. May the Lord ever be with you and direct your path. May the Lord deliver your people for his servant's sake.

keep me posted on how it goes.

 

[Benjamin Hirt]

He already is, I am, and I will. Thank you.

you can find my writings under my New Name, Benjamin Hirt, at Seeking Real Truth Ministries and the ministry page at Seeking Real Truth Ministries - you might review the Mission in the About section. It will give you a brief overview of the massive move God is making in my life right now. Written in 2004-2011, all is beginning now. I am overwhelmed.

 

[Benjamin Hirt]

Also - shared vision - totally different person - not intending to market this book, but providing it as confirmation of my call and mission. Nearly identical, just missing some pieces, and filling in some of my missing pieces.

https://smile.amazon.com/Flee-Mount...3808166&sr=8-3&keywords=flee+to+the+mountains

 

[akaDaScribe]

I went to your facebook and checked out your writings, etc. It looks like your mission is to speak plainly from your perspective. Doesn't bother me, but it will make you lots of enemies if you get bigger. So what we talked about already is extremely relevant. Let God deal with your opposition.

One thing I will say though. Accusing people of blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is counter productive and you don't want to appear to be or actually be cursing people. Speak the truth, but leave judgement to God.

In relation to receiving forgiveness: You sincerely asked for forgiveness, now time to move on. But try not to be angry about not being forgiven. We can ask for forgiveness, we don't really have the right to demand it. It sounds like the person still has very open wounds that God needs to heal.

I look forward to watching your ministry.

 

[Benjamin Hirt]

You are partly right - I am from my perspective because what I write against is the very negative things within my own heart, and how God reveals to me what to say or do to stop that in me. At least that is where I am trying to position my writings - through introspection of my own heart, I hope the Spirit will convict others, to be more pure in Christ. And, yes, it is a process.

I will certainly take your counsel under advise and prayerful consideration. I will always be open to hearing any question or discussion on these. However I also have a feeling that the entire thing is going to move away from writing, and into small, dedicated groups of visitors just getting down to the basics.

Kind of like this: We are told to stay in Scripture. This is generally interpreted as reading the Bible daily. I realized today this might be a wrong interpretation. Jesus said to the leaders that they stay reading the word for by it they believe they are sanctified. But it is not reading the word, but Living the word, that He is talking about. I believe I am going to be provisioned in a manner where those of like heart can find me, and we can just commune with God, the planet, and His Provision in living fellowship. Kind of an Immersion in Faith Therapy sort of thing.

Thanks for your sound advice. Peace be with you.

 

[LoricaLady]

I have been going through some very tumultuous times as a result of a call received by the Lord, beginning in my 18th year and persisting until now. I am 58 (40years). I have been running from it for a variety of reasons, the greatest of which is my birth family.

This family has been destroyed before it was even formed. You may suggest everyone goes through what I have, and all family is like this. This would be lie, based on ignorance of the full story, which I am writing, and will exceed 1,000 pages when published.

The summary is: Someone said, in writing, multiple times in a day, that my faith is false, my ministry is false, and everything I claim the Holy Spirit is doing in my life is really from Satan. Exact words. Then 14 years later, exact same life situation for me as 2004 on a spiritual level but greatly magnified, during a pure heart attempt at reconciliation after decades of hate in my family, she not only refused my request for forgiveness without rubbing my face in my sin to the point of triggering a PTSD response in me, because I allowed myself to be humiliated a little to restore my birth family.

IN the end, she again said, multiple times, that my faith is false, of Satan, that my ministry is false, of Satan, then multiplied that sin by attributing those words to my dad on his deathbed, and my other sister by way of being her "official" mouth piece in the NEGOTIATION to forgive.

I have all of this in writing by her own hand. I feel she has condemned herself repeatedly to blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, especially when I was using scripture to correct her false judgements and evil venomous accusation that my very faith is false.

I then made a video and posted publicly renouncing my birth name, and condemning my birth family (not Dad), as having committed the unpardonable sin, turning them over to satan, excommunicating them from my life for 60 years of


this.

God is calling me to a marvelous ministry, and I cannot allow my birth family to hold me back from my call again. I claimed Gen 12:3, and I have had 24 hours of pure peace since.

I have documented evidence to support what I presented here but will not publish it for public consumption due to the deeply personal nature of the content.

From a biblical perspective, I excommunicated my unchurched family from the Kingdom of Heaven because despite saying Lord Lord,He told me he never knew them. They will be the example of what is to come, and I will be his shepherd to understand truth.

Please check out the Prayer Wall Forum or Christian Advice forum. This is a forum for Persecuted Christians.

 

[Benjamin Hirt]

So, by your reply, having my faith called from Satan from my family doesn't qualify for persecution?

Interesting. Show me how this works please?

 

[LoricaLady]

Your post is all about you. If you will look at the first page of this forum you will see that it is about praying for others, for persecuted Christians. Are you in danger of having your head cut off, of being thrown in prison? Has your home been demolished by Islamists or other religious groups who hate you for your faith? Rhetorical Qs.

 

[Benjamin Hirt]

Excuse me. Have it removed please.

 

[LoricaLady]

Decided to delete post.

 

[LoricaLady]

Excuse me. Have it removed please.

Ask the moderator to have it removed.