What is the worst parenting advice you ever got?

[LovebirdsFlying]

This question was asked on another forum, and I was torn between two. One, my first MIL scolded me after my oldest child had her first round of immunizations. Apparently, XMIL had long ago heard or read about some isolated incident where a child died from an allergic reaction to a vaccine. Therefore, by allowing my daughter to receive immunizations, I was "putting her life in danger." Never mind the fact that the chances of her becoming ill from a preventable disease were MUCH greater than the chances of her reacting badly to the vaccines, or the fact that it was required by law and she would not be able to start school without them. I was a bad mother for having that done. (I think that for some reason she wanted me to feel like a bad mother, no matter what I did.)

The other was, "Your (elementary school age) child still wets the bed? Don't change her sheets. Make her sleep in it. That'll break her."

 

[CrystalBrooke]

"Give her a pacifier"...um, no thanks.
"Let her cry..she'll tire herself out"...um, again, no thanks. I prefer to actually tend to my child.

 

[epiclesis]

"Just put him in his crib at night to go to sleep. He'll figure out he's supposed to go to sleep, and fall asleep after crying for awhile. When he wakes up, put water in his bottle. He'll decide he doesn't want to wake up for that, and sleep through the night."

This was from a random person whom I'd never met before, and speaking of my baby at 3 months of age.

 

[ChildByGrace]

"Give her a pacifier"...um, no thanks.
"Let her cry..she'll tire herself out"...um, again, no thanks. I prefer to actually tend to my child.

It's funny how differently people react to advice. I was told not to give ds or dd a pacifier because it would confuse b/fing. I did give them both pacifiers and ds fed for 8 months and dd is still doing at 16 months.
Advice that works for one doesn't work for all-people tend to forget that and try to tell others how to do it. What makes it worse is that quite often we haven't actually asked the person for the advice, so why to they think we want it.

 

[Mayzoo]

Nevermind, maybe there are a few comments I still need to forgive my mother for.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

Sometimes, no matter what you're doing, it's wrong. My first baby was using a pacifier, and someone from church told me, "She'll find her own pacifier if you leave her alone." So the next one was sucking her thumb, and the pastor of that same church said, "You'd better get her a pacifier."

Can't please everybody.

 

[ChildByGrace]

Sometimes, no matter what you're doing, it's wrong. My first baby was using a pacifier, and someone from church told me, "She'll find her own pacifier if you leave her alone." So the next one was sucking her thumb, and the pastor of that same church said, "You'd better get her a pacifier."

Can't please everybody.

That's so true. No matter what you do there will be someone who doesn't agree with what you're doing or how you're doing it. Somehow you have to find what works for you.

 

[lucypevensie]

"He just need to nurse MORE often"

"Kids don't need preschool. Don't do it!"

"She needs to eat. Give her SOMETHING - anything!"

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

An old biddy on a bus once threw a fit because I didn't have my baby bundled up tight to protect her from the cold.

In the summertime. In Florida.

 

[CrystalBrooke]

An old biddy on a bus once threw a fit because I didn't have my baby bundled up tight to protect her from the cold.

In the summertime. In Florida.

I don't know why people act like babies are always freezing. If it's hot out then the baby will be fine in a onsie. What kills me is when people have their babies or small children out in the cold without having their heads covered!

 

[tiredwalker]

If she's not sleeping through the night, fill her bottle with formula and baby cereal (at one month of age) ummmmm, no thanks.

While I was still pregnant, I had a woman ask if me if I was still drinking alcohol...being hormonal, I responded, "It's not the drinking I worry about, but my crack addiction...sheesh."

 

[illudium_phosdex]

I think the worst advice I got was with my 5 weeks premature daughter. I'd wanted to breastfeed but had to resort to pumping because she couldn't latch on. I was told by a lady from the Le Leche League to not feed her anything at all until she could figure out how to get her milk from the breast. Really? Don't feed a child who's already been compromised by a much too early birth? I offered her the breast at every feeding and she continued to struggle so I always had a bottle standing by. I continued to pump and have no regrets in that decision.

 

[LovebirdsFlying]

If she's not sleeping through the night, fill her bottle with formula and baby cereal (at one month of age) ummmmm, no thanks.

Related to both alcohol and babies, how about, "To help with the pain when they're cutting teeth, dip the teething ring in whiskey." Similar to what I've heard from others, stories about putting alcohol in the baby's bottle to keep him/her quiet. I think hubby said his father once did that to him. Parents who booze babies up should be arrested.

While I was still pregnant, I had a woman ask if me if I was still drinking alcohol...being hormonal, I responded, "It's not the drinking I worry about, but my crack addiction...sheesh."

While pregnant with my second child, I was having trouble sleeping and was advised BY A PEDIATRICIAN to have a glass of wine before bed. Was she trying to drum up cases of F.A.S. for her practice?

I think the worst advice I got was with my 5 weeks premature daughter. I'd wanted to breastfeed but had to resort to pumping because she couldn't latch on. I was told by a lady from the Le Leche League to not feed her anything at all until she could figure out how to get her milk from the breast. Really? Don't feed a child who's already been compromised by a much too early birth? I offered her the breast at every feeding and she continued to struggle so I always had a bottle standing by. I continued to pump and have no regrets in that decision.

Wow... speechless here. That one might take the prize.

 

[white dove]

It's funny how differently people react to advice. I was told not to give ds or dd a pacifier because it would confuse b/fing. I did give them both pacifiers and ds fed for 8 months and dd is still doing at 16 months.
Advice that works for one doesn't work for all-people tend to forget that and try to tell others how to do it. What makes it worse is that quite often we haven't actually asked the person for the advice, so why to they think we want it.

Too true.


My baby was introduced to a pacifier without my knowledge (or permission) at the hospital. I wanted to steer clear of them until we were on a decent feeding system. Unfortunately, I do believe this played a part in the latching issues we had. Thankfully, we both worked through it and my son and I are still going strong with feedings. But yeah. Funny how encouraging they were with the breastfeeding bit, but introduced a soother even though that's not recommended to newborns who are bf'ing. Anyway...

Mine would have to do with getting a swing. I've always thought that was my job, my arms are my baby's swing so why do I need to go out and buy one? That's part of the bonding experience, to hold your baby and comfort him or her, rocking them to sleep. Another would be to buy a tv. So, I can sit my child in front of the tv and babysit (because "trust me, you will"). The "let him cry" thing gets me. He's not 5 years old and throwing a tantrum. He's a baby.. and the only real effective form of communication he can do right now is cry to let me know what's going on with him. You can't spoil a baby by tending to their needs.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

In general, every time I've ever read to "cry it out". For what purpose, to stop a 2 1/2 baby from trying to manipulate us by crying? Sorry, I refuse to believe that my baby daughter, who can't even figure out how to suck her thumb without sticking half of her fist in her mouth, is manipulating me when she cries.

An old biddy on a bus once threw a fit because I didn't have my baby bundled up tight to protect her from the cold.

In the summertime. In Florida.

LOL. People are really dumb. My daughter is a human space heater - she puts off MASSIVE amounts of body heat. Bundling her up in the South Georgia summer would be tantamount to attempted murder in my book!!

 

[ChildByGrace]

In general, every time I've ever read to "cry it out". For what purpose, to stop a 2 1/2 baby from trying to manipulate us by crying? Sorry, I refuse to believe that my baby daughter, who can't even figure out how to suck her thumb without sticking half of her fist in her mouth, is manipulating me when she cries.

IDK about that. My 17 month old turns on the tears in order to get me to pick her up/give her back something I have taken away from her etc. As soon as I give them item back to her or pick her up the tears stop. I'd call that manipulation lol

 

[CrystalBrooke]

17 months is a bit older than 2 1/2 months. A child's cry is the only way they can really communicate for a while..I don't think a 2 1/2 month old is going to use that against a parent.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

IDK about that. My 17 month old turns on the tears in order to get me to pick her up/give her back something I have taken away from her etc. As soon as I give them item back to her or pick her up the tears stop. I'd call that manipulation lol

Seventeen months old is a toddler, not an infant. That is a far cry from 2 1/2 months.

 

[epiclesis]

Seventeen months old is a toddler, not an infant. That is a far cry from 2 1/2 months.

No pun intended?

 

[ChildByGrace]

Ah sorry-I didn't see that it said months so I thought you meant 2 1/2 years. My mistake. And I agree that at 2 1/2months they don't cry to manipulate.