What I Would Wish Away

[Mark Dohle]

What I Would Wish Away​

I do not believe that wishes come true. They are something we long for and would wish things were different. However, reality can be harsh so as much as we would love for things to be different, well, it won’t happen. Not because it is impossible, but well, we are not a rational species, though we do struggle to be. Our fears. and instinctive desires can have such a hold on us that we can’t seem to do much about it if any number of issues get a hold of us. It brings death to many, or if not death great misery for all involved.

Like many families, my family has its share of addiction issues and we have suffered loss over it. Siblings, nieces, and Nephews, friends as well have all died because of addictive behavior that cannot seem to be broken. The pain and suffering for all are so common that it can be easily overlooked. It is the unusual, the flashy that gets our attention, not the boring, painful, evil, of addiction to drugs and alcohol.

All you can do is watch helplessly while loved one’s crash and burn. Often being in a state where they may not even know that they need help. These addictions, with all the tragedy, are everywhere. In families, in churches, monasteries, and big time in the military.

So yes, if I had a wish, I would wish that alcohol and addictive drugs would simply disappear. Or our need for them would be overcome by all.

When I was in the Navy I drank quite a bit. When I was in New Zealand in 1970 on my way to Antarctica, it got really bad. I remember going to parties after the clubs would close (they closed at 10 p.m.) and go to different homes for the parties. I can’t say that I enjoyed them, but I did have a high tolerance for alcohol back then. We would pass around bottles and drink it straight down. Whiskey, vodka, rum, one after another, and just gulp it down. I also noticed the amount of violence that was present there as well. So no, I did not have a good time. I wonder how many sailors and soldiers really do have a good time, or is it just from loneliness?

Yet, I did not become addicted. Carl Jung stated that alcohol is called “Spirits” for a reason. When high it is great, but for some reason, it never touched me actually on the soul or spirit level. I do believe this happened because I also had a deep relationship with God/Jesus, but still in conflict. When I was touched by God, it simply went deeper, without the hangover or the poisoning of the body. So I do not judge addicts, because without that grace I have no doubt that I would have been much worse than most, and most likely be dead.

The hardest thing to do is to come to the conclusion that if a family is an addict, there comes a point in time when it becomes apparent that what was considered helpful is in fact the opposite. It is stepping back that is the problem. I have sweated blood over this. There are young people in the generation after me, that I loved, who have died. I suppose it is my faith that gets me through it, and prayer for my loved ones and all who are addicted that helps. I have seen the power of prayer, but there are times when one has to trust, pray, and know that no matter how tragic the ending, God is still present, and loving those with whom we love deeply, have died.

The weight of lost loved ones can be very heavy, but love lightens it because it is love that allows us to never give up, or to become bitter, but to live in hope even if our hearts are shredded and bleeding. Jesus never gave up, no matter the level of suffering, and he calls for all not to become bitter or cynical. There is no pie in the sky about this. God is with us in the pain and suffering with us. It will not be taken away, for to do so would be to override the freedom of those whom we love. Judgement is not from us, we are called to love just as Jesus did, and He bore the suffering and, in the end, rose victorious.


To admit that one is powerless is not what many think. It empowers us to do what needs to be done out of love and care, trusting in the grace of God. In this life, there are many trials, but in Christ Jesus we are victorious. -BrMD