Vows and Sex

[twob4me]

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[Teslafied]

Please keep your vow, I know I'm glad I kept mine.

I kept my virginity until I was married I was 22, and my husband was 30 he too was a virgin.

Don't ever let your gf or any gf for that matter pressure you into sex, sex is for the marriage bed only.

Before I married my husband I was courting my ex and I thought we planned to both wait together until marriage, he had talked about us building a future, but over time he tried to push sex on me. I stood my ground and I didn't give in because like you I also made a promise to God to remain pure. Because I wouldn't give in to his fake promises like; sex is okay if we're gonna get married anyway, and if you get pregnant I'll marry you, Yada Yada. Well I told him it's like this if you love me you'll marry me now or wait until we do get married. Unfortunately he couldn't wait so he started cheating on me with someone who gave him sex and he dumped me. It took him a couple years to marry her and I can guarantee they're both not happy about what they done. As for me again I have no regrets, yes it hurt what my ex did but because he left me I found a real man who was willing to wait with me and we got married and we both had something special to give to each other.

You can only be a virgin once, don't waste your gift on a one night sort of thing, save it to give to your wife the one you love.

 

[Teslafied]

May I also add that if you really love someone you will court them biblically and courting is different than dating. The world presents this try before you buy stuff which is not what God intended. Gods wants you to court a woman and save yourself until marriage. Courting should lead to marriage, it's a biblical process of finding the right one yet keeping both parties pure.

Again if you truly love her consider marriage, but again like I said above don't waste the precious gift of purity that God has given you which you are to give one day to your wife. Trust me you won't regret waiting and I know it's hard there was times too I felt like giving in but I stayed strong in the lord and the power of His might and I persevered. I don't regret waiting neither will you. Stay strong and be vigilant against the devil he roams around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.

 

[Mudinyeri]

She doesn't really care about marriage, and she doesn't really have the hang up over sex like I do. She's more spiritual than religious so she really doesn't have to abide by all these rules I have to.

This is quite revealing.

As important as your vow to God is God's command not to be unequally yoked. I would suggest that you spend some time prayerfully studying the topic of being unequally yoked in light of your current relationship.

It appears that I have a somewhat different view of premarital sex than many on there. As a new member, I'll hold off on that view for the moment and recommend that, in addition to prayerful study of the Bible's admonition on being unequally yoked, you revisit the reasons for your vow of premarital celibacy. Let the Spirit guide you in your study and meditation on these subjects.

 

[David.Lynch]

This is quite revealing.

As important as your vow to God is God's command not to be unequally yoked. I would suggest that you spend some time prayerfully studying the topic of being unequally yoked in light of your current relationship.

It appears that I have a somewhat different view of premarital sex than many on there. As a new member, I'll hold off on that view for the moment and recommend that, in addition to prayerful study of the Bible's admonition on being unequally yoked, you revisit the reasons for your vow of premarital celibacy. Let the Spirit guide you in your study and meditation on these subjects.

I would love to hear your opinion if you would like to share it. I understand about being equally yoked, as if I was with someone that has a similar relationship with God and was made the same choices regarding sex, I wouldn't be struggling with this issue at all. (Or at least not even half as much)

 

[David.Lynch]

Please keep your vow, I know I'm glad I kept mine.

I kept my virginity until I was married I was 22, and my husband was 30 he too was a virgin.

Don't ever let your gf or any gf for that matter pressure you into sex, sex is for the marriage bed only.

Before I married my husband I was courting my ex and I thought we planned to both wait together until marriage, he had talked about us building a future, but over time he tried to push sex on me. I stood my ground and I didn't give in because like you I also made a promise to God to remain pure. Because I wouldn't give in to his fake promises like; sex is okay if we're gonna get married anyway, and if you get pregnant I'll marry you, Yada Yada. Well I told him it's like this if you love me you'll marry me now or wait until we do get married. Unfortunately he couldn't wait so he started cheating on me with someone who gave him sex and he dumped me. It took him a couple years to marry her and I can guarantee they're both not happy about what they done. As for me again I have no regrets, yes it hurt what my ex did but because he left me I found a real man who was willing to wait with me and we got married and we both had something special to give to each other.

You can only be a virgin once, don't waste your gift on a one night sort of thing, save it to give to your wife the one you love.

I'm thankful for your words of encouragement. I'm very happy that you ended up finding someone to shared in your beliefs regarding sex and that it payed off for you in the end. I generally feel I won't be so lucky. I'm 28 so I'm not far off from when your husband married you so I guess I shouldn't be too hard on myself but I feel like everyone around me is having sex and I am left sitting on time-out in the corner. I wish I could meet someone like me but I don't know where to start. Even the Christians I've met don't follow this type of thing...

 

[David.Lynch]

It's been a while since I originally posted this thread. Back towards the end of April I decided to end the romantic side of the relationship with my girlfriend. It was very difficult but I felt good about it. I wanted to remain close with her as I still felt like we shared a very strong bond and could still be great friends. Unfortunately, as time progressed we fell back into our old ways and I'm back to where I was again, struggling with this issue. I don't want to end my relationship with her completely as I still love her so much but I feel if we don't go our separate ways entirely that we will always be drawn back to this. I always try and find a way to justify having sex with her. I think, "What if I just marry her between us and God alone and commit to her until she decides it won't work?", but then I think that's not really how marriage works and God isn't a fool and I shouldn't go in thinking this is temporary.

I think this would be easier if I wasn't also such a lustful person. Even without this relationship life has been very difficult staying pure minded and not giving in to all the temptations around me.

 

[amariselle]

Hi David,

I'm sorry to hear you're still struggling with this. I've been there, as far as the waiting and longing goes. I just recently married my husband (September 2015) at the age of 31. By God's grace I stood firm in my decision to wait until marriage, and I can say that it is definitely the right decision.

I read all of the posts in this thread, and there is some excellent advise here. Perhaps you could go back and re-read what people wrote to you before.

It also sounds as though you know what you should and shouldn't do. Stand firm in your commitment to the Lord and take your struggles and uncertainties to Him. He cares about you and He knows what you are going through.

 

[David.Lynch]

Hi David,

I'm sorry to hear you're still struggling with this. I've been there, as far as the waiting and longing goes. I just recently married my husband (September 2015) at the age of 31. By God's grace I stood firm in my decision to wait until marriage, and I can say that it is definitely the right decision.

I read all of the posts in this thread, and there is some excellent advise here. Perhaps you could go back and re-read what people wrote to you before.

It also sounds as though you know what you should and shouldn't do. Stand firm in your commitment to the Lord and take your struggles and uncertainties to Him. He cares about you and He knows what you are going through.

Thank you for your response.