Those little things

[Nelle]

I met with our attorney last week about this stuff. In Iowa if an estate nets less than $50,000 then it all goes to the spouse without needing probate. I don't need to file anything except a couple of affidavits showing that deeds transfer to me. I have also found that Cheryl's Federally backed student loans are all canceled upon her death and I do not have to pay any credit cards expenses that are in her name only that are not for household expenses. Title on her car transferred to me without fuss, also.

Many blessings found, and some wonderful provision from God, but I have still been struggling with discouragement as I try to sort out bills and start updating the books that are 4 months out of date. Some of the expenses that I am finding that need to be paid that I had not thought of before now...it makes me appreciate her even more, and now she is not here for me to tell her....

Paul

Paul, what I have often done these 27 months since DH went home to the Lord is I have asked the Lord to give him a message for me. Not to tamper w/ the great chasm between where we are and where they are, but sometimes I just have something I really need to say to him.

And BTW, to ALL here on our forum, one thing I have sensed is that my husband MISSES ME TOO !!! I feel this strongly, maybe b/c that's just how he was here in this life, even if we were apart for just a weekend, he would miss me terribly. But somehow, it almost feels like a "knowing" in my heart 'he misses me.'

That said, when I ask the Lord, "Please tell him I miss him", I also say, "Please tell him I know he misses me too."

So, yes, Paul, now that your dear wife has gone home to Heaven, you are aware of all the things she kept track of for you that you might not have realized before, may I suggest? that you give the Lord messages to give to her? Not that we are to abuse such, but every once in a while I feel I have the grace to do it.

Blessings, good night to all,
Nelle

 

[ComesoonmyLORD]

I met with our attorney last week about this stuff. In Iowa if an estate nets less than $50,000 then it all goes to the spouse without needing probate. I don't need to file anything except a couple of affidavits showing that deeds transfer to me. I have also found that Cheryl's Federally backed student loans are all canceled upon her death and I do not have to pay any credit cards expenses that are in her name only that are not for household expenses. Title on her car transferred to me without fuss, also.

Many blessings found, and some wonderful provision from God, but I have still been struggling with discouragement as I try to sort out bills and start updating the books that are 4 months out of date. Some of the expenses that I am finding that need to be paid that I had not thought of before now...it makes me appreciate her even more, and now she is not here for me to tell her....

Paul

I was and am so thankful that Ginger was very detailed in her book keeping. All I had to do was pull up her computer records for our finances and it was all layed out there for me. Who to pay when, IRA and CD info, etc. etc. She was always the great finance manager for our household, but it wasn't until after her death that I realized just how good she was at this. And like you Paul, I can't tell her how thankful I am. Someday brother we will be able to though.

 

[pauldst]

I was and am so thankful that Ginger was very detailed in her book keeping. All I had to do was pull up her computer records for our finances and it was all layed out there for me. Who to pay when, IRA and CD info, etc. etc. She was always the great finance manager for our household, but it wasn't until after her death that I realized just how good she was at this. And like you Paul, I can't tell her how thankful I am. Someday brother we will be able to though.

Yep!

Have found myself to be badly "hurting" in another area today. Some wrangling at church involving getting a project started. The problem I'm facing is political in nature, although no one intends it that way, if one looks at it one way, but involves a strong clash of...personalities. What hurts is I now do not have my "safety valve". I don't have Cheryl anymore to tell me if I'm messing up or not, and if so, how and how much. I no longer have her to help make peace, and to help me refrain from ripping the other person up. And, of course, she is not there to vent to. Pastor and I have talked some about the situation, but times before when this has happened Cheryl has been able to cut through the misunderstanding between this other person and I, where neither of us were able to do anything but make it worse on our own. I won't say that the situation has gotten out of hand, but there is only so much I am willing to talk to him about because, even though we are best of friends, I don't feel it is my place to air all the dirty laundry to him in this situation, and I don't know right now what else to do. It is amazing to me the ways I keep finding that I need her, miss her, now that she is no longer here.


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[ComesoonmyLORD]

I understand. I have similar issues when it comes to people and personalities. I guess God is teaching us something new. At least we can look back at our wives and try to learn something for the new future. Hang in there! Press On!