They look but nothing ever comes of it

[sampa]

Does anyone else feel like you go to places and you meet people or there may be a spark in someones eye, but nothing ever comes of it. I know I've a lot of priorities, but part of me feels this impatience with so many years gone by and few results except flirtation???? And many times its not from Christians. How about you?

 

[Stravinsk]

Does anyone else feel like you go to places and you meet people or there may be a spark in someones eye, but nothing ever comes of it. I know I've a lot of priorities, but part of me feels this impatience with so many years gone by and few results except flirtation???? And many times its not from Christians. How about you?

I'm guilty of this. Flirting, showing interest, then backing off. The one female I did seriously pursue here in Australia - flaked big time on me. Her loss. Anyway - I was blinded and it took that to realise she didn't have the character I thought she did. So - for the best.

I wouldn't take it personally. Sometimes it *is* personal (in which case it's best to know now rather than later) - and sometimes it's just that the other person may not be in a place to date, or is just testing the waters - or even having a bit of fun flirting and enjoying making someone else feel good about themselves for a time. The downside, of course - is that when they cease - the other person is left wondering.

 

[darktipper]

I don't flirt..... No one looks my way. If they do then I am not looking lol. I don't seek to flirt.

 

[MacFall]

That used to happen. I used to interpret every friendly smile from a woman as a sign that she was into me. (Before you judge me, consider that I can probably count the number of women in my age range that have ever smiled at me on my fingers). Took me quite a while to realize that wasn't the case. Now I just figure they're being polite, or possibly they're thinking about rib-eye steak or something else that is awesome.

 

[Mydnyte]

I don't flirt..... No one looks my way. If they do then I am not looking lol. I don't seek to flirt.

Nobody much looks my way either lol

 

[Miles]

I think it's just a part of being single. Unfortunately, relationships take more than a sparkle in someone's eye. Without real compatibility, there isn't much to build upon.

 

[kevlite2020]

It happens to me quite a bit. Especially being in college, I run into so many new people every day. I always look at it as just a little thing to brighten my day. A smile from a stranger, a curious look, those things don't have to mean more than what they are. They are just a small moment that lets me know that I'm appreciated, even in the smallest way.

 

[Sketcher]

Yeah, I feel it. I don't know if I'm too picky personality-wise, too shy, cursed, or what.

 

[GQ Chris]

I've had conversations and sparks with people at restaurants/brewpubs, and totally hit it off conversation/chemistry wise, but upon talking about things, and discovering their philosophy of life and also matters of faith, I know it would never be compatible. I just enjoy it for what it is at the moment, a nice conversation with a person and nothing more.

 

[darktipper]

Nobody much looks my way either lol

Some people think that I am lying lol.
I would have to have a woman come up to me and mug me for me to notice her. Or even Peacock/raindance...... Plus I am more gun shy. I have to fully know that she is interested. If not then I know that she is just a tease or just like me for looks... I had that happen also.

 

[HazelWings]

I've had conversations and sparks with people at restaurants/brewpubs, and totally hit it off conversation/chemistry wise, but upon talking about things, and discovering their philosophy of life and also matters of faith, I know it would never be compatible. I just enjoy it for what it is at the moment, a nice conversation with a person and nothing more.

^This
It's fun and makes me feel good while it lasts. It's also confirmation that there's possibility for the future.

 

[sampa]

Am amazed with the post I see here and glad I'm not so alone. It was a bit of my selfish rant last night. I do internet on the go (mostly starbucks) so I'm not discluding/favoring by answering certain people.

........... I wouldn't take it personally. Sometimes it *is* personal (in which case it's best to know now rather than later) - and sometimes it's just that the other person may not be in a place to date, or is just testing the waters - or even having a bit of fun flirting and enjoying making someone else feel good about themselves for a time. The downside, of course - is that when they cease - the other person is left wondering.

I agree Stravisk, not to be taken personal, its just a part of my impatience with getting to the ends rather than just the means.

That used to happen. I used to interpret every friendly smile from a woman as a sign that she was into me. .......

Yeah, its common MacFall. I used to get frustrated that so many guys would misinterpret my smile for flirtation, well frustrated because it was in a male dominated workplace.

It happens to me quite a bit. Especially being in college, I run into so many new people every day. I always look at it as just a little thing to brighten my day. A smile from a stranger, a curious look, those things don't have to mean more than what they are. They are just a small moment that lets me know that I'm appreciated, even in the smallest way.

Good thought kev, those things do brighten my day a bit

I've had conversations and sparks with people at restaurants/brewpubs, and totally hit it off conversation/chemistry wise, but upon talking about things, and discovering their philosophy of life and also matters of faith, I know it would never be compatible. I just enjoy it for what it is at the moment, a nice conversation with a person and nothing more.

GQ, I think your thoughts match Miles. Most times when we do get talking we find there's not match, but at the same time it could be a new friend that leads to another friend.

 

[Sketcher]

That used to happen. I used to interpret every friendly smile from a woman as a sign that she was into me. (Before you judge me, consider that I can probably count the number of women in my age range that have ever smiled at me on my fingers). Took me quite a while to realize that wasn't the case. Now I just figure they're being polite, or possibly they're thinking about rib-eye steak or something else that is awesome.

Yeah, at this point, I block it all out, possible flirtations included. I suppose it is possible that I have pigeon-holed a flirtatious look or two as just her normal, friendly demeanor.

 

[KingCrimson250]

I'm guilty of this. Flirting, showing interest, then backing off. The one female I did seriously pursue here in Australia - flaked big time on me. Her loss. Anyway - I was blinded and it took that to realise she didn't have the character I thought she did. So - for the best.

I wouldn't take it personally. Sometimes it *is* personal (in which case it's best to know now rather than later) - and sometimes it's just that the other person may not be in a place to date, or is just testing the waters - or even having a bit of fun flirting and enjoying making someone else feel good about themselves for a time. The downside, of course - is that when they cease - the other person is left wondering.

Yeah, I agree 100% with this post. To add, it's also quite possible that the man finds you physically attractive but isn't interested beyond that. Or maybe he does want to date you but is too scared to make a move beyond the casual. It's not terribly uncommon for guys to be held off not by a fear of rejection, but rather a fear of commitment. He might be able to make the first few steps, then feel paralyzed.

 

[IreneAdler]

Does anyone else feel like you go to places and you meet people or there may be a spark in someones eye, but nothing ever comes of it. I know I've a lot of priorities, but part of me feels this impatience with so many years gone by and few results except flirtation???? And many times its not from Christians. How about you?

I've only had one "spark" moment. While it came to fruition it took two and a half years to get there. Just count yourself lucky that you even spark. lol

 

[mina]

It's frustrating; that's for sure.....It used to happen to me all the time and drive me crazy!!! But, I guess it comes down to : it it's meant to happen; it will happen. And if it doesn't then it's not meant to happen. God is in control; that's what I always had to remember.

 

[sampa]

.... To add, it's also quite possible that the man finds you physically attractive but isn't interested beyond that. Or maybe he does want to date you but is too scared to make a move beyond the casual. It's not terribly uncommon for guys to be held off not by a fear of rejection, but rather a fear of commitment. He might be able to make the first few steps, then feel paralyzed.

King good point, yes beyond that its most likely too much work and someone who easily talks to you many times talks to manyyyy.

I've only had one "spark" moment. While it came to fruition it took two and a half years to get there. Just count yourself lucky that you even spark. lol

Irene, I have to agree its nice to get a smile or spark once in a while.

It's frustrating; that's for sure.....It used to happen to me all the time and drive me crazy!!! But, I guess it comes down to : it it's meant to happen; it will happen. And if it doesn't then it's not meant to happen. God is in control; that's what I always had to remember.

I agree Mina, its is best to give it to God, because He's in control.

 

[dfreeland311]

From a guy's perspective, I've realized that I'm horrible at taking advantage of this. I used to have a gigantic fear of rejection. I'll get a spark, but don't do anything about it. If a person looks at you like they're interested, you have a small window of opportunity / interest and need to capitalize on it. Not that I'm a Don Juan or anything...I can count the number of women I've dated on one hand (I'm also very choosy from a biblical standpoint), but it's the way it works unless you're very lucky.

I'm starting to get better at opening up to people I don't know in conversation but it's still hard. The big thing is convincing yourself that if you DON'T go talk to them, you are guaranteed an outcome. If you do, then it can go either way, but at the very least, you tried to do it, you're a bit more comfortable doing it, and you're still just as single as you were before you tried.

 

[Riot Riot Riot]

That used to happen. I used to interpret every friendly smile from a woman as a sign that she was into me. (Before you judge me, consider that I can probably count the number of women in my age range that have ever smiled at me on my fingers). Took me quite a while to realize that wasn't the case. Now I just figure they're being polite, or possibly they're thinking about rib-eye steak or something else that is awesome.

Where on earth do you live? Are the girls super snobby? Because, and I say this as a friend (since I'm happily taken), you are NOT a bad looking guy. Probably one of the more attractive guys I've seen around here (and I usually prefer brunettes).

Girls are weird. Half the time even I can't figure me out.

 

[MacFall]

I don't think they're super snobby; it's just that there are so many single Christian men around here that just by sheer law of averages, any attractive woman (and I mean "attractive" in all senses, not just physical) can choose from any number of guys who have everything I have plus things that I don't (primarily athleticism, wealth, and extroversion).

Simple economics: in a market with a very high supply (single men), the providers whose offers will be accepted will be those who differentiate themselves with added value (athleticism, wealth, and extroversion), leaving those without the ability to offer that value with no option but to lower their price (lower their standards). But I'm not going to lower my standards, so realistically, I can only expect not to have any "buyers".

Also, it's "brunos" when you're talking about men.