That kind of life is most happy which affords us most opportunities of gaining esteem. SAMUEL JOHNSON
Today my self-esteem and self-respect are in a working condition that I can deal with on a daily basis. I give credit for this to the fact that I commune daily with a loving God, I have a family that demonstrates unconditional love, I have a church family that loves me and gives me room to grow, I have friends in AA and NA that keep me accountable. This morning for some reason I was thinking about the summer of 1960, a time in my life when my self-esteem was at a low. My father was stationed in the Army in San Antonio, and my mother, sister and I were there with him. Because of his drinking they were getting a divorce, and as I look back I see where I was rebelling against everything that was going on. I did not consider it rebellion, but just the way I felt. I was thirteen years old and smoked a half a pack of cigarettes a day, drank alcohol every chance I got, was breaking into buildings and stealing, I was getting into fights, and had been arrested a couple of times. As I look back I see where my future was leading, the penitentiary or death.
My mother sent my sister and I to our grandparents farm in Missouri, the very home that I live in today. I showed up here with the same attitude and chip that I had in San Antonio. My grandmother put up with me for about a month, and shipped me off to an aunt in Oak Grove, Missouri. She lived on a farm also, and my playing days were over. I was put to work. At first I hated it because it hurt, but along with work came responsibility and this I liked. The first real job I had was working in the hay fields for my uncles father. I got to drive a tractor. Also my aunt and uncle let me drive their tractor and an old car to go feed some calves down the road. I milked two old cows and fed the hogs morning and night, cut weeds and mowed the lawn, and still found time to hunt and fish. My sister and I lived with my aunt and uncle for around five months. The time on the farm and the hard work probably kept me from going to the penitentiary. I am grateful to Laura and Jack for taking us in when times were bleak, and giving me some direction in my life.
Later in life alcohol and drugs became an everyday thing. The old rebellion and attitude came back. Once again a loving God allowed me to experience emotional, physical and spiritual pain and sent others my way to help me find direction in my life. I am grateful and may I never forget the help that was given to me. May I learn to help others in the same way. Today God is doing for me what I could not do for myself .JRE
But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions, it is by grace you have been saved. EPHESIANS 2:4-5 NIV
THE FORGOTTEN MOUNTAIN
When I was a child, I acquired some of the traits that had a lot to do with my insatiable craving for alcohol. I was brought up in a very little town in Vermont, under the shadow of Mount Aeolus. An early recollection is that of looking up at this vast and mysterious mountain, wondering what it meant and whether I could ever climb that high. But I was presently distracted by my aunt who, as a fourth-birthday present, made me a plate of fudge. For the next thirty-five years I pursued the fudge of life and quite forgot about the mountain.
BILL W. A.A. COMES OF AGE, pages 52-53
Today my self-esteem and self-respect are in a working condition that I can deal with on a daily basis. I give credit for this to the fact that I commune daily with a loving God, I have a family that demonstrates unconditional love, I have a church family that loves me and gives me room to grow, I have friends in AA and NA that keep me accountable. This morning for some reason I was thinking about the summer of 1960, a time in my life when my self-esteem was at a low. My father was stationed in the Army in San Antonio, and my mother, sister and I were there with him. Because of his drinking they were getting a divorce, and as I look back I see where I was rebelling against everything that was going on. I did not consider it rebellion, but just the way I felt. I was thirteen years old and smoked a half a pack of cigarettes a day, drank alcohol every chance I got, was breaking into buildings and stealing, I was getting into fights, and had been arrested a couple of times. As I look back I see where my future was leading, the penitentiary or death.
My mother sent my sister and I to our grandparents farm in Missouri, the very home that I live in today. I showed up here with the same attitude and chip that I had in San Antonio. My grandmother put up with me for about a month, and shipped me off to an aunt in Oak Grove, Missouri. She lived on a farm also, and my playing days were over. I was put to work. At first I hated it because it hurt, but along with work came responsibility and this I liked. The first real job I had was working in the hay fields for my uncles father. I got to drive a tractor. Also my aunt and uncle let me drive their tractor and an old car to go feed some calves down the road. I milked two old cows and fed the hogs morning and night, cut weeds and mowed the lawn, and still found time to hunt and fish. My sister and I lived with my aunt and uncle for around five months. The time on the farm and the hard work probably kept me from going to the penitentiary. I am grateful to Laura and Jack for taking us in when times were bleak, and giving me some direction in my life.
Later in life alcohol and drugs became an everyday thing. The old rebellion and attitude came back. Once again a loving God allowed me to experience emotional, physical and spiritual pain and sent others my way to help me find direction in my life. I am grateful and may I never forget the help that was given to me. May I learn to help others in the same way. Today God is doing for me what I could not do for myself .JRE
But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions, it is by grace you have been saved. EPHESIANS 2:4-5 NIV
THE FORGOTTEN MOUNTAIN
When I was a child, I acquired some of the traits that had a lot to do with my insatiable craving for alcohol. I was brought up in a very little town in Vermont, under the shadow of Mount Aeolus. An early recollection is that of looking up at this vast and mysterious mountain, wondering what it meant and whether I could ever climb that high. But I was presently distracted by my aunt who, as a fourth-birthday present, made me a plate of fudge. For the next thirty-five years I pursued the fudge of life and quite forgot about the mountain.
BILL W. A.A. COMES OF AGE, pages 52-53
