The sin of people pleasing

[Michie]

How caring what others think keeps you from the Kingdom of God.

Continued below.
http://aleteia.org/2016/05/01/the-sin-of-people-pleasing/

 

[pdudgeon]

an excellent article! i've seen this "what will people think" attitude so often in life.
It cripples our efforts, turns us away from opportunities, breaks families apart,
and in general makes our lives miserable.
we loose so much more than we would ever stand to gain by pleasing people.

 

[Michie]

Exactly. That is why I always say if friendships with people expect total agreement laden with peer pressure then it was never true friendship to begin with. Friendship, like love has to weather the disagreements and storms in life. And like love, it often becomes a choice to maintain it. Nobody likes a puppet and if they do, there are some deep issues imo.

an excellent article! i've seen this "what will people think" attitude so often in life.
It cripples our efforts, turns us away from opportunities, breaks families apart,
and in general makes our lives miserable.
we loose so much more than we would ever stand to gain by pleasing people.

 

[WarriorAngel]

How caring what others think keeps you from the Kingdom of God.

Continued below.
http://aleteia.org/2016/05/01/the-sin-of-people-pleasing/

You become too afraid to help.
Yep.

I fight the urge to back down... but i think long and hard on how to communicate.
For it's just as much a disservice to attack ppl as it is to ignore them.

Walking a tight rope.
Balance is so needed...but it 'ain't easy'.
[I often cant sleep at night if i think i mess up].

 

[WarriorAngel]

an excellent article! i've seen this "what will people think" attitude so often in life.
It cripples our efforts, turns us away from opportunities, breaks families apart,
and in general makes our lives miserable.
we loose so much more than we would ever stand to gain by pleasing people.

I guess i'm fortunate because our dad made us debate our religion.
He would get us started to the point everyone would be arguing their own POV on stuff.

Then he would instruct us slowly what it meant.
However; group arguing was to cease and desist.

He wanted to force us to think - not only our POV but the Church POV.
Because we - humans - can fail miserably without the authority of the church.

Trust me - doing that as a child served me for my journey.
Because i knew - there are going to be several opinions but ONLY ONE truth.

 

[Michie]

I'm a people pleaser to a point but only when I feel it is sincere. I always question myself on why and how I say or do something. Emotions still get in the way and I screw up a lot. But I tend to try to be careful as far as my own motives. It kind of sucks.

 

[WarriorAngel]

I'm a people pleaser to a point but only when I feel it is sincere. I always question myself on why and how I say or do something. Emotions still get in the way and I screw up a lot. But I tend to try to be careful as far as my own motives. It kind of sucks.

You and me both.
If word gets out you have strong faith - then ya better believe it - your every step becomes a make or break deal.
Its frightening to say the least.

So humbleness - and seeking forgiveness when you fail is all we can do.
ya know?

It's a love to do it ...and scary as heck too, kind of thing, isnt it?

 

[AvilaSurfer]

Yeah I'm guilty of people pleasing. Wait, what?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

 

[Michie]

lol!

Yeah I'm guilty of people pleasing. Wait, what?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

 

[Michie]

You can lose friendships buy as I said, if you can't be honest and keep a friendship it was nothing more than an acquaintance. I do not like people that operate so they can use others as tools.

You and me both.
If word gets out you have strong faith - then ya better believe it - your every step becomes a make or break deal.
Its frightening to say the least.

So humbleness - and seeking forgiveness when you fail is all we can do.
ya know?

It's a love to do it ...and scary as heck too, kind of thing, isnt it?

 

[WarriorAngel]

You can lose friendships buy as I said, if you can't be honest and keep a friendship it was nothing more than an acquaintance. I do not like people that operate so they can use others as tools.

I lost a friend over my religion.
However; i was the first person she called when her daughter seemed possessed.

After many years we are finally talking again.
I dont push my faith on her - but i hope with my prayers all these years she will eventually want to come to God herself.

 

[Michie]

All we can do is work the field. Sometimes you see a return and sometimes you don't. It depends on the soil. What counts is we work the field.

I lost a friend over my religion.
However; i was the first person she called when her daughter seemed possessed.

After many years we are finally talking again.
I dont push my faith on her - but i hope with my prayers all these years she will eventually want to come to God herself.

 

[WarriorAngel]

BTW - she finally left her ex abusive bf.
20 years - and i stood up to her and said did the same thing and i feel so much better now.

She did it.

He was much worse and tried many times to act like he would kill her.
He was a horrible drunk who was rotten to her.
I told him off one time that i dont hang out with abusive men thats why i left who i left and he said 'yah, true. i stay away when i am drunk'.

Last year he walked in to abuse her but saw me. I challenged him, of course.
The thing is - he thinks im attractive. so whatever.

When i left he came back and told her it was a good thing i was there - i saved her life.

I feel better knowing she is doing better although she is depressed and years back had a nervous breakdown and was hospitalized for it. So we have some stuff in common.
Seeing me helped her get thru it.

 

[WarriorAngel]

All we can do is work the field. Sometimes you see a return and sometimes you don't. It depends on the soil. What counts is we work the field.

Yeah, and we have to be mindful - Jesus couldnt convert everyone and He had enemies... so we can't be better than He was.
We have to accept some just wont care.

 

[Michie]

There you go!

Yeah, and we have to be mindful - Jesus couldnt convert everyone and He had enemies... so we can't be better than He was.
We have to accept some just wont care.

 

[WarriorAngel]

There you go!

WWJD - basically not mind and say 'shake the dust off' and keep moving on.
Thats why i find the arguments in here monotonous and tedious.

Ya cant change minds.
People speak to reply not to think about what ya say.

 

[Catherineanne]

How caring what others think keeps you from the Kingdom of God.

Continued below.
http://aleteia.org/2016/05/01/the-sin-of-people-pleasing/

Hmmm. It may be a fault but I doubt very much that it counts as a sin.

 

[WarriorAngel]

Hmmm. It may be a fault but I doubt very much that it counts as a sin.

It depends.

If you are pleasing people - by cheering them on in sin - which pleases them... then you allow them eternal torment you are judged for not helping them.

Yes, that's in scriptures.

 

[Michie]

It depends.

If you are pleasing people - by cheering them on in sin - which pleases them... then you allow them eternal torment you are judged for not helping them.

Yes, that's in scriptures.

People only seem to take that 'judge not' Scripture and not know what it means and run with it. But the way it is used invalidates a lot of other Scripture because it is wrong.

 

[WarriorAngel]

People only seem to take that 'judge not' Scripture and not know what it means and run with it. But the way it is used invalidates a lot of other Scripture because it is wrong.

Yes, it is misused too much.


We cannot judge souls and condemn them.
However; we cannot applaud them or help them sin.
{Romans 1 tells us that and few other passages}

Do we judge them? No.
But that doesnt mean we dont counsel them for the sake of their eternal life.