- Feb 12, 2010
- 132
- 9
- Country
- New Zealand
- Faith
- Eastern Orthodox
- Marital Status
- Married
I really love the idea that I keep hearing from Orthodox folks that marriage and monasticism are both kinds of asceticism (or something like that).
The first things that come to mind that are wholly beneficial -- affecting not just the spiritual life, but the intellectual, emotional, physical AND spiritual -- to those of us who are married (I joined the club 3 weeks ago on July 10!) are all based on the suffering aspects of marriage, the death to self parts. The crown of martyrdom, we wear them for each other in some respects. The first "sufferance" that is to be borne is the decision to stay with that, and only that, person; meaning at no time will you stray. I can think of tons of reasons why this is beneficial to the spirit and the mind (and therefore the other parts of our being, since they are all dependant). It is all rooted in self-awareness and self-control. If the going is tough, you have to search for positives in the other person and the situation. Hoping for the future and waiting for a change of heart and a change of situation means being actively patient. Examining the motive to stray means asking yourself what is lacking? And since the decision to stay with that person has already been made, the desire to leave them (other than an abusive situation) is a lack within one's own self, which will likely only grow if you stay in the uncomfortable position of feeling that lack (in virtue I suppose).
I can think of a lot of other reasons how bearing the conflicts and, as I said, sufferings that come out of being united and on an intimate team with someone else will benefit the virtues and control and mindfulness of a person... but what about the purely positive results of being married on a person's being? What are they? And how does marriage help the other parts of our beings, such as the physical body, the emotional mind, the intellect?
The first things that come to mind that are wholly beneficial -- affecting not just the spiritual life, but the intellectual, emotional, physical AND spiritual -- to those of us who are married (I joined the club 3 weeks ago on July 10!) are all based on the suffering aspects of marriage, the death to self parts. The crown of martyrdom, we wear them for each other in some respects. The first "sufferance" that is to be borne is the decision to stay with that, and only that, person; meaning at no time will you stray. I can think of tons of reasons why this is beneficial to the spirit and the mind (and therefore the other parts of our being, since they are all dependant). It is all rooted in self-awareness and self-control. If the going is tough, you have to search for positives in the other person and the situation. Hoping for the future and waiting for a change of heart and a change of situation means being actively patient. Examining the motive to stray means asking yourself what is lacking? And since the decision to stay with that person has already been made, the desire to leave them (other than an abusive situation) is a lack within one's own self, which will likely only grow if you stay in the uncomfortable position of feeling that lack (in virtue I suppose).
I can think of a lot of other reasons how bearing the conflicts and, as I said, sufferings that come out of being united and on an intimate team with someone else will benefit the virtues and control and mindfulness of a person... but what about the purely positive results of being married on a person's being? What are they? And how does marriage help the other parts of our beings, such as the physical body, the emotional mind, the intellect?
