From my blog:
Suddenly I am wide awake, I look over at the alarm clock and it reads 3:00 AM and a voice that I know is God says, “Come I want to spend some time with you”
I have been awakened by God before but this time was different It was as if he was calling to me from the other room. I slipped out of bed as quietly as I could as to not disturb Cat, slipped on my robe and made my way to the great room. In one corner we have a giant lazy boy. I sort of ducked down into it as one would do if you arrived late and did not want to draw attention to yourself.
As soon as I got in the chair I heard Him again “Come here son” I do want to mislead at this point. I was not called away to some other place. What I mean is, I was in my chair in my den at all times. At least my body was. But, in my mind I stood at a gate. It was nothing fancy per say. It is like a typical garden raw iron affair. It was latched but not locked and as I unlatched the hasp the gate swung wide to reveal a path. It appeared to be made of common cobble stone. Wider than the gate and not very long it terminated at a gazebo where seated in an oversized chair of his own was God. “Come” He said
Oddly my first thought was about how easy the path is and how there were absolutely no obstacles between He and me. As I pondered this my mind flooded with His thoughts. As I write this now from a memory of two years ago I kick myself for not writing it all down then.
There was so much conveyed in an instant, in a flash. It was like trying to drink from a fire hose. A million words and a thousand years could never convey all that came to me in a single instant.
I have surmised that it was as if He spoke all truth and all justice and all love and all mercy to me at once in the blink of an eye. Like a thousand points of light, it all swarmed around me. I stood there overwhelmed as it all moved about. I was ill prepared and almost all of it slipped my grasp. But, one truth remained and not because I had laid hold of it. It stood before me in splendor I can not explain and it laid hold of me. It was grace. Grace like I’ve never understood it before. Jesus had removed all the obstacles a long time ago. The path was wide open all the time. I had just never really understood until now. He reached out His hand and pulled me into his lap. I whispered, “Thank you Dad”
And so I sat in his lap for the next three hours. As I recall there was no exchange of words. It was more like an exchange of thoughts, And, not just one thought at a time, it was like all my thoughts were taken in all at once and in the same instant the answers to my thoughts were returned to me. It was as if I only had to start to think the thought and before I could complete it I had the answer. Then before I could even grasp the answer we were on another question.
In all of this I had a sense that this was my Dad and He is nothing like my father. I had known this of course for Years, but, I never really KNEW it. Now I did and I had come to this realization the moment I saw Him. It was as if a cry from my heart, long ignored, denied, explained away, and forgotten had suddenly been addressed. A lifetime of pain and rejection which was so much a part of me I did not even recognize it was peeled away and here He was, my Dad. One would ask, “How can a moment negate 48 years?” Well, one moment can. I know because this one moment did. It did not take the three hours, it did not take 3 seconds, but three hours in His lap was a very good experience. It was enough to last me the next 48 years!
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John O.