Strange occurrences following my dad's death

[tansy]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this..if not, please move it.
Anyway, my father had been ill with cancer for a few months and my brother and I were taking it in turns to care for him at his house (apart from when he fell, broke his hip and was hospitalised for a while until he was able to come home, where he died after a few days).

My dad died overnight and , having phoned members of my family, my daughter in law, who is a nurse, came down to give me a hand with things. I was upstairs and she was in the kitchen doing a bit of tidying up. She suddenly saw outside in the garden by the couple of steps leading up to the kitchen door, a white figure (she though for a moment it was me and that I'd come down quietly without her noticing.) She only told me this after I'd told her about my slightly odd experience. I asked her if it was an angel or male or female...she said she didn't know, it was just a white figure. She does not believe in God or anything supernatural, is very practical and not given to fanciful imaginations.

The slightly odd experience that I had was a couple of weeks after my dad's death. I was in his bedroom (his and my mum's ashes were both in there on the mantelpiece) whilst my brother, who'd been down for a week or so had been sorting stuff out (he is executor) was showing stuff he'd done. I suddenly felt a bit weird and like there was a bit oif pressure in my head (not sure if this was before or after I knew the ashes were there.) After I left the room, this feeling disappeared. I meant to go in there later to see if this feeling came back, but forgot.

I just wondered if anyone might have any idea about what all this could have been. I find it rather unsettling..and am glad I don't have to sleep in the house uness my brother's there! The house was built abpout 1898 and there were only two previous owners to my parents.

My younger sister actually, had recounted to me ages ago, that when she was a child, she had looked up the stairs to the half landing and seen a hunched over man (with a hat on, I think) sitting at the top of the stairs. Whether this was dream or imagination, I don't know.

Anyhow, prior to my dad's death, I had never experienced anything 'weird' in the house before, and I'd lived there from the age of four until I left home (my dad bought the house about 63 years ago and lived there ever since).

 

[levnishbar]

I am sorry for your loss and you have my condolences.

I do not believe it is possible for a dead person's spirit to come back to Earth, or linger on Earth.

Hebrews 9:27 says man dies once, and then follows Judgement.

In cases where a spirit, apparition or other presence seems to be that of the deceased, I believe it is a deceiving spirit that tries to get us to sin by talking with the dead (Deuteronomy 18:11). The spirits have extensive knowledge of people both dead and alive, and it is not beyond them to mimic them to deceive us.

 

[tansy]

I am sorry for your loss and you have my condolences.

I do not believe it is possible for a dead person's spirit to come back to Earth, or linger on Earth.

Hebrews 9:27 says man dies once, and then follows Judgement.

In cases where a spirit, apparition or other presence seems to be that of the deceased, I believe it is a deceiving spirit that tries to get us to sin by talking with the dead (Deuteronomy 18:11). The spirits have extensive knowledge of people both dead and alive, and it is not beyond them to mimic them to deceive us.

Thank you for your reply. Well, my daughter in law didn't try to speak to it and ishe only saw it for a moment. Anyway, I rang her up again to ask a couple more questions. I had thought it possible it could have been an angel, but I'm sure it wasn't. Anyhow, I asked her how big it was and she said, it was about the size of my dad. She also told me, which I hadn't realised, that it was actually going away from the house. I said, was this before or after the undertakers had removed my dad's body. She told me she wasn't certain, but she thought it was afterwards. She also said she didn't get any 'feeling' from it like malevolence or benevolence. It was just there. I had thought at first, that it was standing there looking into the kitchen from the garden, but no, she said, it was leaving.
Anyway, whatever, rather unsettling...I was relieved to know it was leaving. One 'good' thing is that my daughter in law might actually start to think there actually is a spirit realm and perhaps think that God exists after all.

 

[Robban]

Thank you for your reply. Well, my daughter in law didn't try to speak to it and ishe only saw it for a moment. Anyway, I rang her up again to ask a couple more questions. I had thought it possible it could have been an angel, but I'm sure it wasn't. Anyhow, I asked her how big it was and she said, it was about the size of my dad. She also told me, which I hadn't realised, that it was actually going away from the house. I said, was this before or after the undertakers had removed my dad's body. She told me she wasn't certain, but she thought it was afterwards. She also said she didn't get any 'feeling' from it like malevolence or benevolence. It was just there. I had thought at first, that it was standing there looking into the kitchen from the garden, but no, she said, it was leaving.
Anyway, whatever, rather unsettling...I was relieved to know it was leaving. One 'good' thing is that my daughter in law might actually start to think there actually is a spirit realm and perhaps think that God exists after all.

Possibly your father had a lucky escape, cremation is not recomended.

 

[tansy]

Possibly your father had a lucky escape, cremation is not recomended.

Yes...I've heard that many people thing cremation is not a good iea. And my father was cremated. Are you a Jew, out of interest (or Messianic Jew?) I looked at your profile to see what it said. If so, do Jews discourage cremation? And if so, why? I could actually start another thread smewhere regarding this question, of course.

 

[tansy]

Yes...I've heard that many people thing cremation is not a good iea. And my father was cremated. Are you a Jew, out of interest (or Messianic Jew?) I looked at your profile to see what it said. If so, do Jews discourage cremation? And if so, why? I could actually start another thread smewhere regarding this question, of course.

Sorry, I've just seen under your picture 'Judaism'. They've changed the format of everything abit since I was last on CF so I've got to find my way around again!

 

[levnishbar]

Sorry, I've just seen under your picture 'Judaism'. They've changed the format of everything abit since I was last on CF so I've got to find my way around again!

Yeah Judaism forbids cremation, for a number of reasons. Starting with Genesis 3:19 which says we are from dust, and to dust we shall return.

Also it is a sensitive topic even for secular Jews, because during the Holocaust many Jews were murdered and then cremated. So burning bodies remains taboo.

 

[tansy]

Yeah Judaism forbids cremation, for a number of reasons. Starting with Genesis 3:19 which says we are from dust, and to dust we shall return.

Also it is a sensitive topic even for secular Jews, because during the Holocaust many Jews were murdered and then cremated. So burning bodies remains taboo.

Ah, right. The Holocaust would definitely have an awful effect on the idea of cremation, to put it mildly.
But as to 'dust to dust', don't ashes become dust? I'll have to do a bit of research on the bits in the Bible which might proscribe cremation.

 

[levnishbar]

Ah, right. The Holocaust would definitely have an awful effect on the idea of cremation, to put it mildly.
But as to 'dust to dust', don't ashes become dust? I'll have to do a bit of research on the bits in the Bible which might proscribe cremation.

Technically cremation both gasifies the parts of the human body which can be gasified (CHON-based molecules) and for parts that cannot, like salts and bones - become dust.

There is also some Jewish mystical belief that the soul lingers on earth for some time, and is torn between remaining in the body and leaving the world. So destroying the body via cremation is viewed a bit like how you would feel if you lived in your home from day one till a ripe old age, took care of it to the best of your ability, sold it and then saw people come to demolish it the moment you closed the front door.

 

[tansy]

Technically cremation both gasifies the parts of the human body which can be gasified (CHON-based molecules) and for parts that cannot, like salts and bones - become dust.

There is also some Jewish mystical belief that the soul lingers on earth for some time, and is torn between remaining in the body and leaving the world. So destroying the body via cremation is viewed a bit like how you would feel if you lived in your home from day one till a ripe old age, took care of it to the best of your ability, sold it and then saw people come to demolish it the moment you closed the front door.

That's is an interesting take on it. Funnily enough, I kind of thought that my dad wouldn't have wanted to leave the house, especially when he was still trying to do so much work on it and he'd lived there for around 63 years. My daughter in law thinks, but is not certain, that she saw this figure AFTER my dad's body had been removed. Perhaps he'd gone out for a final look at his garden!

Even when my dad was too ill to do anything, he was saying 'This is such a waste of time'. I said how do you mean? He said, there are so many things I need to do. I'm so sad. He always liked working with his hands and practically rebuilt the house in so many ways as it was Victorian and so much needed doing on it all the time. He was such a lovely, lovely person It's like the end of an era for me. Plus, of course, the Queen has just died and we have a new PM. A new era for Great Britain too. The Queen died less than four weeks after my dad.

I feel very unsettled..understandably, of course, but spiritually, it does seem like perhaps we, at least in the UK are entering a new era as well. And of course, world-wide, everything has changed, unrest, food and energy prices going up, you name it.

 

[levnishbar]

I am sorry for your the loss of your father, and your Queen.

There are many problems in Israel as well. But the answer to all problems, at an international, national and personal level, is found in one person: Jesus!

 

[Robban]

Yes...I've heard that many people thing cremation is not a good iea. And my father was cremated. Are you a Jew, out of interest (or Messianic Jew?) I looked at your profile to see what it said. If so, do Jews discourage cremation? And if so, why? I could actually start another thread smewhere regarding this question, of course.

Hi there tansy, thought I recognized the name, must have been a while.

There was a thread on these matters a while ago,

like most threads they lose momentum and run out in the sand.

We do not have the last word in how we will leave this world, so to speak.

Though we can have wishes.

As for dust to dust,

"Though Your mighty strength is in the angels above,
You desire praise from those formed of lowly matter."

 

[Bob Crowley]

People sometimes see relatives or friends after death. I've long maintained that the might my father died he appeared in my room. He started with an apology for the way he'd treated me, we talked and argued, and at the end he gave this terrifying scream and then disappeared. Incidentally he didn't know where I was living at the time as I didn't want him to know - I couldn't stand him. But he came anyway.

An elderly woman living in a retirement village near here told me she had a similar experience. In her case something white sat on the foot of the bed. She said she was freaking out and wondered what the hell was going on. Then the white thing spoke - it was her husband who had died that night after being kept alive by machines in hospital due to a brain embolism. He apologised to her for his abuse. Interestingly, her eldest daughter had the very same experience. Of all the children, he'd been most abusive to the eldest daughter, so he apologised to her as well.

A psychiatrist I used to see said that about three years ago "something strange happened last weekend". He was attending a Catholic Church when they announced a parishioner had died that morning. But she'd also been one of his patients, so there was a personal connection. He said "She was in the church". He could see her.

I remember reading a story about a New Zealander whose grandmother had died. He somehow contacted his brother to tell him as the brother and grandmother had been very close. The brother said he already knew, as she had sat on the foot of his bed and talked to him. The thing was that the brother was in a NZ naval ship somewhere out in the Pacific Ocean at the time.

I don't subscribe to the cut and dried formula that people can't be visited after death. Christ Himself implied ghosts exist when He pacified the frightened disciples by saying he was not a ghost.

Another odd one is that "clocks stop". My old pastor told me that. There used to be an center aisle stand outside an Aldi store in the local shopping centre that sold and repaired watches, batteries, cut keys, reset remotes etc. The owner was a qualified watchmaker. They're not there anymore, but a few years ago I dropped in after work one day. He was just about to leave. So I told him what the pastor had said and asked him if he'd had any cases of watches or clocks stopping right at the moment of death. He replied "often" and "many times". He said they usually just needed a service and they'd go again, but it was obvious it happened far too often to be merely coincidental. He said it was the secret of the watch making trade.

To quote another pastor who had a ministry with street kids "There's a very strange psychic world out there!". With our rationalist thinking, which has rubbed off on Christians as much as atheists, we're too ready to dismiss these stories as fantasy. One day we're going to find out there's another reality out there which is usually very well hidden, but now and again it breaks through.

I don't know what the white thing was your sister saw - it may have been your father or it could have been a trick of the light. I think it's possible it may have been your father, especially if he'd lived there for 63 years. That's all I can say. Ditto with your other experiences - again it may have been, or it just might have been a brief physiological event.

Unless you're going to see a spiritual counsellor - priest or pastor for example - you'll just have to live with the uncertainty.

 

[Rajni]

Tansy, I'm also sorry to hear about your dad. *hugs*

I think our loved ones who graduate from this earthly plane sometimes signal that they're still around, whether it be in the form of apparitions or some other way.

My dad passed away back in 2009 from pancreatic cancer. Not long after, my daughter, who was still in grade school at the time, was getting ready for school one morning. When she came back to her room from the bathroom, she discovered an old hoodie of hers that no longer fit her laying across her bed, still on the hanger. It had been a gift from my dad and his wife to her years before, from one of their vacation trips. She had just gotten out of that bed maybe 20 minutes prior, and didn't recall sleeping with a hoodie on a hanger at that time.

When she told me, I asked her if she had maybe placed it on the bed while looking through her closet for something to wear. She indicated that no, because everything she wears is in her dresser. On top of that, we don't even remember where this thing was stored as it had been so long since she wore it. It may not have even been in her closet in the first place.

I attribute the relocation of that hoodie to my dad, just letting us know he's still kicking around, in what I call 'stealth mode'.

I think my mom, who passed away in 2019 about a week before Christmas, also signaled her presence, again with my daughter. One evening, I was visiting my daughter, her brother, her dad, and her step-mom for Christmas dinner. While there, I had gone over to a table in the foyer to put my cellphone in my bag. I noticed a light shining out from under my daughter's jacket, which was laying atop a table there. I lifted it up and saw that it was coming from a little flashlight attached to her key-ring. When I mentioned to her, she indicated how strange it was, since the flashlight never worked, no matter how much she fiddled with it! And here, it had come on apparently all by itself.

Another reason I think it was my mom’s spirit that did this is because, since a very young age, I have always had this strange phobia regarding flashlights. Initially, I liked playing with them when I was small, but somewhere along the line, probably before middle-school, I got to the point where I’d rather stumble around in the dark than grab a flashlight and turn it on so I can see where I’m going. I can’t explain it, and it had baffled my mom too, understandably, when I had told her. But we have a somewhat dark sense of humor, so I could see her using a flashlight with that in mind as a way to communicate that she was there, too, since it's a device that has significance to both of us in that way.

Then, when my daughter had returned to college after the holiday break, she texted me to let me know that her flashlight had spontaneously turned on again in her dorm. I told her I thought it was probably her grandmother just saying ‘hi’.



-

 

[Robban]

I don't recall having any of the, in this thread, experiences.

What I write now happened some years ago so memory is a little foggy,

Because I tried to push it out of my mind.

My dear mother had passed on, I was sitting in an armchair and I fell asleep.

While I was asleep I had a dream that I had a rockband and was looking for a drummer.

When I awoke her telephone rang, I answered and someone intruduced them self

and said they had heard I was looking for a drummer.

I left the house in a hurry and never went back.

 

[Rajni]

I don't recall having any of the, in this thread, experiences.

What I write now happened some years ago so memory is a little foggy,

Because I tried to push it out of my mind.

My dear mother had passed on, I was sitting in an armchair and I fell asleep.

While I was asleep I had a dream that I had a rockband and was looking for a drummer.

When I awoke her telephone rang, I answered and someone intruduced them self

and said they had heard I was looking for a drummer.

I left the house in a hurry and never went back.

Oh wow... That's pretty wild.

-

 

[Robban]

Oh wow... That's pretty wild.

-

Yeah, there was such a presence there, don't know what kind and did not hang around to find out.

Have heard it is not a good idea to delve into the mystical,too deep

and absolutely not without a mentor.

Some have gone insane and even died.

So I have been told.

Deep water fish dwell in the deep, if they come to the surface they explode.

They have to have pressure on all sides,

or so I have also been told.