Some advice needed for current circumstance in depression..

[Zandy12]

Hey guys I need some advice. So I'm 22 and still living in my parent's apartment. I have been unemployed for 4 months and have been dealing with really deep depression and social anxiety, although God has been a huge help for me during this dark time it has been truly paining because my family hasn't been really caring and understanding for me and my dad has been really stressing me out. Even though he knows Im having problems he keeps yelling at me to get a job and is always pushing me and it gets me mad because he won't help me at all to get on my feet. My older sisters aren't much support either because they've already moved out and don't really care. The only person I am close with in my family is my mom. I've been praying alot for a solution to this and to go back to school and to get a good job but it's so difficult because of my social anxiety and my family's negativity. So I've been thinking about moving out with my mom and going to Canada to my grandma and aunt and leaving my dad and sisters. It's the only option I really have because I don't know who else to stay with and I can't afford to be on my own. I feel like it will help alot and it'll be easier to be up there and I won't have to deal with my dad's negative talk and I'm just getting real tired of him, I have been dealing with it too long. I can get a job over there and help pay for the bills with my aunt and grandma while attempting to return to school. It will really help and be a great opportunity for a fresh start to get away from negativity and help me move forward in life. What do you guys think? Thanks in advance and prayers would be appreciated.

 

[Grace750]

Well, Zandy I definitely believe in the power of prayer. I have suffered with clinical depression in my life. I am much older than you and looking back I remember I felt ashamed I had this and never told anyone. I'm glad people are more open now.

It's not unusual that sometimes the people closest to us don't really understand or sympathize with us when we are having a hard time. You mention you've prayed about this and that's the best way to begin and to continue. A fresh start might be a good idea. I will pray for you. I'm sure God has a plan and purpose for your life, Zandy and He knows your heart and what you need.

Take comfort in this and know God is working in your life.

 

[Tempura]

I had at least somewhat similar situation once. Seven hundred decades ago when I was just over 20, I was just out of a job and struggling with anxiety. I had moved back home since I broke up with a woman I lived with and wanted to leave that apartment for good. I became very isolated, as is my nature and first instinct. I remember feeling the shame when my mother reprimanded me often to just get a job. She meant well, but she didn't get the situation.

Anyway, regardless of my feelings, I took a course for something and got a job (the firm in question arranged the course, it was kind of a recruitment thing as well). I hadn't taken it if I weren't being pushed into it. It was a job where I had to confront my fears and anxieties often. I stutter, and I had to talk a lot and confront people in various situations. Naturally sometimes I effed it up and the shame and guilt along with my anxiety just pounded me in the head. BUT, in the end it was good for me. Of course years later my head broke for other reasons, quit the job and haven't been working since. On a pension now. But I needed that push from my mother, even though she got on my nerves and didn't quite understand. I managed to get out of my comfort zone and do something.

Hah, I don't even know why I said that, because your situation seems to be a little different. You said you can get a job from Canada. If that's how you feel, why not? Moving around and trying things doesn't mean you're saying goodbye to everything else. You're young. And if it doesn't work, you can probably come back. But naturally I can't tell you what to do, or won't even if I thought I knew better. Think of it like the old coin toss trick, when you're not quite sure what you want, so you toss a coin. If the result pleases you, there you go. If it doesn't, then you know too.

About comfort zones. We tend to have those, especially us who struggle with anxiety or whatever it may be. There's not really much comfort in that zone, is there? You're constantly aware how you're hiding. People are weird. We're all weird. But that's okay, bananas are weird too. Just look at them.

 

[Zandy12]

Well, Zandy I definitely believe in the power of prayer. I have suffered with clinical depression in my life. I am much older than you and looking back I remember I felt ashamed I had this and never told anyone. I'm glad people are more open now.

It's not unusual that sometimes the people closest to us don't really understand or sympathize with us when we are having a hard time. You mention you've prayed about this and that's the best way to begin and to continue. A fresh start might be a good idea. I will pray for you. I'm sure God has a plan and purpose for your life, Zandy and He knows your heart and what you need.

Take comfort in this and know God is working in your life.

Thank you for the encouragement Grace750

 

[Zandy12]

I had at least somewhat similar situation once. Seven hundred decades ago when I was just over 20, I was just out of a job and struggling with anxiety. I had moved back home since I broke up with a woman I lived with and wanted to leave that apartment for good. I became very isolated, as is my nature and first instinct. I remember feeling the shame when my mother reprimanded me often to just get a job. She meant well, but she didn't get the situation.

Anyway, regardless of my feelings, I took a course for something and got a job (the firm in question arranged the course, it was kind of a recruitment thing as well). I hadn't taken it if I weren't being pushed into it. It was a job where I had to confront my fears and anxieties often. I stutter, and I had to talk a lot and confront people in various situations. Naturally sometimes I effed it up and the shame and guilt along with my anxiety just pounded me in the head. BUT, in the end it was good for me. Of course years later my head broke for other reasons, quit the job and haven't been working since. On a pension now. But I needed that push from my mother, even though she got on my nerves and didn't quite understand. I managed to get out of my comfort zone and do something.

Hah, I don't even know why I said that, because your situation seems to be a little different. You said you can get a job from Canada. If that's how you feel, why not? Moving around and trying things doesn't mean you're saying goodbye to everything else. You're young. And if it doesn't work, you can probably come back. But naturally I can't tell you what to do, or won't even if I thought I knew better. Think of it like the old coin toss trick, when you're not quite sure what you want, so you toss a coin. If the result pleases you, there you go. If it doesn't, then you know too.

About comfort zones. We tend to have those, especially us who struggle with anxiety or whatever it may be. There's not really much comfort in that zone, is there? You're constantly aware how you're hiding. People are weird. We're all weird. But that's okay, bananas are weird too. Just look at them.

Right now I'm just trying to figure out what can help me move forward. And plus around this age it seems like the proper time to do it anyways. I may not be on the path that I originally planned or others have planned out but hey nothing ever goes to plan right? lol I think moving out would definitely be whats best, it'll give me a new outlook on life and who knows maybe better opportunities for me might come along the way as well. I just don't feel like there's really a future where I stay now and barely talk to my friends or family anyways, and plus I hate living in this town. I'm going nowhere here basically and there's probably something really exciting waiting for me over there (probably lying to myself but hey it helps lol). I've realized that everything has always some sort of risk involved you can't really escape it, it's reality. Every choice has risks that follow and this one is no exception either. I should probably do what you have done and just kick my butt into action instead even though it's hard regardless because my comfort zone has shrunk over the months to a bare minimum lol. Definitely what you can do though is always pray and hope for the best. I mean its the only thing we can do, but that's really all that matters anyways, knowing that God is with us no matter what problem we face small or big. I definitely know that this will bring me closer to him by activating my faith. I just hope things get better regardless whether I move or not.

 

[RuthD]

Praying for you to find the answers and have a better life.

 

[Zandy12]

Praying for you to find the answers and have a better life.

Thank you Ruth for your support.

 

[RuthD]

Thank you Ruth for your support.

You are welcome.

 

[srjoanna]

Do what's best for you. If you think Canada is the answer then go for it.

 

[Zandy12]

Do what's best for you. If you think Canada is the answer then go for it.

Thank you for your input srjoanna I really appreciate it.

 

[Jeshu]

A move can help a lot, especially if you dare to break with some depressive habits, like getting a job, even volunteer work would be good, and to dare to socialise and make friends. Canada may well be a good chance to break with all the negativity you are confronted with here. Plan well and give it go I reckon.

 

[Zandy12]

A move can help a lot, especially if you dare to break with some depressive habits, like getting a job, even volunteer work would be good, and to dare to socialise and make friends. Canada may well be a good chance to break with all the negativity you are confronted with here. Plan well and give it go I reckon.

Thanks Jeshu I appreciate your advice.