So scared

[raven1]

My faith is gone! I thought the other day how can God create us out of nothing and boom I can't believe anything anymore. I'm still terrified of hell though. I want to believe so bad but I can't it's gone! Omgosh!!!!! I can't even sleep.

 

[raven1]

Every time I think about if God is there and created the earth I can't believe I scream at myself you don't know what God can do but it doesn't help.

 

[rustom]

I'm trying to think of ways that could be helpful for you, and others who are in intense anxieties. I definitely know what it feels like to go without sleep due to fear.

Let's think about this logically. At the moment, you are terrified about going to hell for what you claim to be, unbelief. That is, doubting the existence of God or the power of God and fear that you will go to hell for it. It is quite obvious that you do in fact have faith as you are scared of punishment or judgement, and you know that it is God who is the judge.

Yet the thing that is spiking your anxieties at its peak are doubts, or to be more accurate, thoughts about doubts. Being anxious about this confirms your belief in God, and no where in Scripture does it mention judgement for those who have thoughts about doubts, especially those who are mentally ill; one thing that does bring judgement is REJECTION.

Now that I believe that you believe in God, as it is very logical to believe in God for the source of creation, we can believe in His unfathomable power, wisdom, and knowledge which he used to create us as it's quite impossible for any man to create another living man out of his limited understanding.
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One thing that might help is listening to songs, especially Christian songs and hymns. I know that there have been a few songs that have

OCD causes us to obsess about things which fuels our anxiety, so no wonder we are fearful at times. Do you have access to a counselor/therapist/doctor who could help out, or perhaps a friend, as friends can help us up when we're down as is is obsessive compulsive disorder.

I know that anxiety,doubt, and fear is NOT all there is left and you shouldn't too!

 

[Christownsme]

I'm praying for you, Raven!

 

[raven1]

Omygosh I'm crying so hard! I don't even know if I believe in heaven and hell. When I sit and think about it none of it seems logical. I still fear hell though. I don't even know if this is intellectual doubt or OCD. I don't want to go to hell but I don't even know if I believe in it. I got out of a hot tub today and my hearate shot up to 147 I almost passed out I cried out to God help me! I cried out to a God I don't even think is there. I can't grasp how he created us from nothing and the earth and heaven and hell. I think if I sit here and think about it maybe I will realize my fear of hell is irrational then I day if you sit and think your not accepting Christ but I don't even know if I believe in Christ either. :,(

 

[Gods warrior 1]

Praying for you. I believe you do believe it's just your OCD doubting thoughts.

 

[MadamImAdaminChrist]

Are you seeing a counselor for your scrupulosity? Have your read the book "The Doubting Disease" or others like it?
Here is a good resource: Treating religious obsessive compulsive disorder (scrupulosity) Easy Christian alternative to cognitive-behavioral therapy
Here is a good post on this problem: http://www.christianforums.com/t6478287/

Hope you are doing better.

 

[raven1]

I don't know if this is OCD or not. Why can't God just know I want to believe whatever kind of doubt it is.

 

[babegirl111]

First Raven you have to take a deep breath and relax. You gotta answer our questions as well so we can help you. Have you seen a therapist or counselor? I had one and he was AMAZING. Are you reading anything? Take a look at the link the doubting disease that they posted above. Praying for you

 

[JSocd151]

hey raven, as I was praying tonight I felt led to write a message to you. I also have ocd and have been feeling the same way you are except it all revolves around Jesus. When I saw your post I felt so much peace. Just to know I'm not alone took a huge weight off my shoulders. So just know you are not alone in the way you feel. Lots of people are going through the exact same thing as you. That proves its the ocd. I know its hard to hold on to that but you just have to. The thing I think God has been showing me is to not think about these things and to just let them go. Philippians 4:8-"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." He knows its the ocd. The fact that you are so afraid and are freaking out proves this. Just hold on to that. Don't analyze or question it, just let it go(philippians4:8). When you start to feel like you want to analyze and have questions like but this??... or why this??.. Think about Proverbs 3:5-6"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Don't lean on your own understanding. Be obedient in the ways you know you should and trust Him. He wants whats best for you. He sees your desire to believe. He will take care of you. Just hold on to that and don't let your mind delve into the endless questioning. You will not find an answer. It will only make you more anxious. Take any hope you have and hold on to it. I'm praying for you.

 

[1ofGodsChildren]

I have had this too Raven. I believe you believe seriously I do. It's OCD. When I was going through this it's that I "feel" I don't believe. I still prayed ect. So if I didn't believe how come I prayed? Because I did and didn't feel I did. I'm so sorry your going through this. It is scary. I prayed anyways. Even though I would feel and doubt I was even praying. OCD is a strange and bitter enemy. It's very strong and plays off of our own logic. Proverbs 3:5 says not to lean on our own understanding. What helps is knowing God believes in you. I remember thinking well if God didn't create the universe then it creating itself out of nothing makes no sense at all. Think about that. Someone had to create everything. Also it helps to understand that from where we are we cannot know everything. And that is ok. It's fine not to understand creation or how God created all things. How can we? We are the creation not the creator. He knows all not us. It takes a lot more faith to believe All things just appeared on their own than believing God created it all. Think about it. There are 2 options. God created everything( which is logical and rational), or one day all of a sudden out of nothing everything appeared. It makes no sense to me when I look at creation creating itself out of nothing. That's what one has to believe if not in God. Which is easier? Believing God. Look at how the moon comes up at night and the sun during the day. If the sun was closer we would burn. If it was farther we would freeze. Creation is like a perfect pocket watch. All the tiny pieces work in harmony. That's proof of an intelligent supernatural creator.

I say all those things because that's how my OCD is. It questions EVERY single thing EVERY second of EVERY day. OCD thinks it's so smart but it's not.