Our marriage has been rocky over the course of its five years. We've have ups downs, ins, outs, arguments, physical encounters, shouting matches and the like. Recently, my husband revealed some things to me from his childhood that had started to plague him (he was molested in difference foster homes and before that physically abused by his biological father). Also, the last foster mother he had who was really the only mother he's known, died last April. Not to mention that he struggles with inappropriate contentgraphy as well. In coping with that, I guess, he started drinking and staying out overnight.
On Friday night, he stayed out and I decided for my safety and the safety of my three year old son, I changed the locks. Saturday morning around 6-6:30 AM, he's knocking and banging and crying tears desperately begging me to let him. So I did. At that time, he confessed that he was really devastated about the things that had happened to him and that he needed help and that for a long time he tried to pretend that those things weren't there. I agreed that he needed to get some help and that we would find some together. The rest of the day seemed to go well.
Sunday morning he said that he'd lost his work I.D. and that he needed to go and find it. So, an hour goes by and I called him on his cell phone to see if he was making progress. He said that he'd found it in the car and that he was on his way to his mother's house. I asked him whiy he didn't just mention that he was going to his mother's house and he went ballistic. Said that he didn't need to tell me where he was going, etc. At that time, I hung up. I didn't want to argue or yell. So he called and left a message on my voicemail saying that "if it wasn't for our son, I would have left you a long time ago". Obviously, that hurt, badly. That day I asked him to move out. He apologized for his comments agreed that this would be best because he wanted to get himself together because he knew that he was "jacked up".
So it has been about 3 weeks since he's moved out. For myself, persoanally, I have been seeing a counselor, been spending A LOT of time in the word and with church family, my son and regular family. I know that the Lord doesn't want me to hurt, but I understand the need for this process (for my husband overcome what he's dealing with). So, I continue to pray and press forward.
He's not seeing a counselor and has picked-up smoking cigarettes. When I see him (when he comes to visit our son) he looks bad, depressed and sad. One night, he even called me and asked me if I'd ever thought about suicide. I mean, there is so much. He's told me that he doesn't have hope for our marriage and that he doesn't really care about anything except our son.
I really don't know what to do. I feel like I'm supposed to help him somehow because he doesn't have anyone but at the same time, I feel myself going a little crazy worrying about him. I feel like he needs to take the neccesary steps to get the help he needs be he just wouldn't Anyone been here? How do you cope? What do you do?
On Friday night, he stayed out and I decided for my safety and the safety of my three year old son, I changed the locks. Saturday morning around 6-6:30 AM, he's knocking and banging and crying tears desperately begging me to let him. So I did. At that time, he confessed that he was really devastated about the things that had happened to him and that he needed help and that for a long time he tried to pretend that those things weren't there. I agreed that he needed to get some help and that we would find some together. The rest of the day seemed to go well.
Sunday morning he said that he'd lost his work I.D. and that he needed to go and find it. So, an hour goes by and I called him on his cell phone to see if he was making progress. He said that he'd found it in the car and that he was on his way to his mother's house. I asked him whiy he didn't just mention that he was going to his mother's house and he went ballistic. Said that he didn't need to tell me where he was going, etc. At that time, I hung up. I didn't want to argue or yell. So he called and left a message on my voicemail saying that "if it wasn't for our son, I would have left you a long time ago". Obviously, that hurt, badly. That day I asked him to move out. He apologized for his comments agreed that this would be best because he wanted to get himself together because he knew that he was "jacked up".
So it has been about 3 weeks since he's moved out. For myself, persoanally, I have been seeing a counselor, been spending A LOT of time in the word and with church family, my son and regular family. I know that the Lord doesn't want me to hurt, but I understand the need for this process (for my husband overcome what he's dealing with). So, I continue to pray and press forward.
He's not seeing a counselor and has picked-up smoking cigarettes. When I see him (when he comes to visit our son) he looks bad, depressed and sad. One night, he even called me and asked me if I'd ever thought about suicide. I mean, there is so much. He's told me that he doesn't have hope for our marriage and that he doesn't really care about anything except our son.
I really don't know what to do. I feel like I'm supposed to help him somehow because he doesn't have anyone but at the same time, I feel myself going a little crazy worrying about him. I feel like he needs to take the neccesary steps to get the help he needs be he just wouldn't Anyone been here? How do you cope? What do you do?
