- Aug 4, 2013
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PLEASE - RESPONSES FROM ORTHODOX BELIEVERS ONLY! THANK YOU!
I have composed a letter to my priest and wonder if I should go ahead and give it to him? Here is the letter:
Part of me says to at least indicate my interest in the diaconate and part of me can find a dozen reasons I should destroy the letter and forget about it. One thing that makes me hesitant is thinking that perhaps I should just commit this desire to prayer before the Lord and ask Him that if it is His will, for Him to put the idea of asking me to be a deacon in Fr. David's mind. Is there anything wrong with thinking that way? My friend, Fr. Seraphim, never asked to be a priest, but was approached without asking about it, starting with his ordination to the diaconate. Part of me says this would be a good way to be sure that it is God's will for me. I have been praying about it and doing just that. What do you think?
I hope someone here has some wisdom for me in this matter.
Thank you for your responses.
I have composed a letter to my priest and wonder if I should go ahead and give it to him? Here is the letter:
Dear Fr. David -
I have labored over whether or not to write this letter for several weeks now. After consulting with an old friend of mine, Fr. Seraphim Reynolds, who I know from my time at St. Ann’s BCC, and being encouraged by him to pursue this course of action, I am writing to inform you of my desire to be a deacon in the Orthodox Church. The impetus for this letter was the plea from Fr. John Parker for more clergy in the Orthodox Church. After his visit with us, I spoke with him at length regarding my age and other concerns I have. He encouraged me to inform you of my desire.
This desire is not without precedent. I attended the diaconal training classes at Sts. Cyril and Methodius Seminary in Pittsburgh for three years before problems arose with the priest who had been placed in charge of our parish. I believe that some back story is in order here.
Three years after my conversion from Protestantism to the Byzantine Catholic Church, our priest, +Fr. Michael Shear, announced one day after Divine Liturgy that there was a serious lack of altar servers and invited any older men who would like to serve to meet him in the sacristy. I served St. Ann’s for many years and found the experience of being more deeply involved in the Liturgy to be a tremendous blessing. During that time, having a desire for yet further involvement in the Liturgy, I responded to the reopening of the diaconal training program in the Reuthen Eparchy, but I was advised against it by my spiritual director at the time. He felt that I was still very Protestant in my understanding and felt I should wait for a while.
Sadly, +Fr. Michael passed away from cancer a few years after inviting me to the altar with him. In 2010, it was announced that a new class for deacons was starting up at Sts. C & M. I applied, was interviewed, and through the encouragement of our new pastor, was accepted into the class. For the next three years I attended the summer classes. I made good grades and was looking forward to the day that I could serve as a deacon in our parish.
Unfortunately, that was not to be. Fr. Michael’s replacement was hounded out of our parish because he was a Roman Catholic bi-ritual priest who was learning the Eastern Catholic Liturgy, and some people were violently opposed to him as a Jesuit priest. The priest who replaced him was a disaster. I do not say this lightly. Imagine, if you will, him coming into the altar area to the side altar, dressed in street clothes, without even an Epitrachelion, taking out a bag of bread cubes, dumping them on the discos, and making the sign of the cross over them with his hand in the Latin position, and then leaving. This was his “Proskemedia” and I was scandalized! I am not interested in trashing this man, nor do I have a vendetta against him, therefore I will only say that this was the worst of many problems he brought to the parish with him. His actions were the cause of people leaving the parish and going across the street to Christ the Savior Orthodox. He was also the reason that I was dismissed from the diaconal program after my third year. A comment I made about him “Latinizing” the church got back to him and we had a loud argument in the parish hall one afternoon after Liturgy. He proceeded to contact the bishop and remove his support for my studies. I was never contacted by the bishop to ask my side of the story. A few years later I heard he was quietly removed from the parish after a nasty scandal. That is all I feel I should say about the matter.
When I came to St. Mary’s, Fr. Deacon Nicholas knew all about my background. In his gracious manner, he asked if I wanted him to inform you of my background. At the time, I felt that the best thing for me to do would be to sit in the back, absorb the Liturgy, the teaching, and everything else I could in order to become Orthodox in a proper manner. I did not want to be one of those converts - God bless them - who come into a parish and, having studied intensely for a few years, go about acting as if they know Orthodoxy perfectly. Therefore, I asked Fr. Deacon Nicholas for silence on the matter. However, after Fr. Parker’s plea for more clergy, and after prayer and consideration, I feel that I should at least make my background and desire known to you.
It is my hope that you will take this matter to sincere prayer and reflection. My desire is to serve the Lord where He wants me. Thus, I have been very blessed and happy to sing in the choir, since I did not request this but was rather offered the opportunity. In my personal prayers at home, I have also told our Lord that wherever He wants me is fine with me. If I am to be a choir singer the rest of my life, that is the best thing for me, since it is His will.
I guess the point of this letter is to say that in response to Fr. Parker’s plea, I am simply raising my hand and saying, “I’d like to, if the Lord will have me.” Thank you for your consideration of this request and your prayers and reflection on it.
Sincerely yours in Christ,
Edward
Part of me says to at least indicate my interest in the diaconate and part of me can find a dozen reasons I should destroy the letter and forget about it. One thing that makes me hesitant is thinking that perhaps I should just commit this desire to prayer before the Lord and ask Him that if it is His will, for Him to put the idea of asking me to be a deacon in Fr. David's mind. Is there anything wrong with thinking that way? My friend, Fr. Seraphim, never asked to be a priest, but was approached without asking about it, starting with his ordination to the diaconate. Part of me says this would be a good way to be sure that it is God's will for me. I have been praying about it and doing just that. What do you think?
I hope someone here has some wisdom for me in this matter.
Thank you for your responses.