Remarriage Error

[GIGATT247]

I filed for a divorce and got a divorce 6 years ago. I did not realize until now that God never gave me the authority to divorce and that in his eyes the divorce never happened. My husband is so called remarried but now that God has revealed to me that the divorce was never ordained by Him do I have the right to pray for God to restore the marriage that I didn't know still existed? Even though I am the one who filed for the divorce and even though he signed it I caused him to get remarried. Is he committing adultry by remarrying since I am the one who actually put him away?

 

[Mr.Cheese]

What was the nature of the divorce? What caused you to file?

 

[pegatha]

Sometimes things get so tangled up that there's no way to unravel them and straighten them out. In a situation like that, you just have to confess your part in the problem, accept God's forgiveness, and move on from whereever you are right now. If he committed adultery by remarrying, then the adultery has severed his connection with you, and you are now free to get on with your own life. If there was any sin in his remarrying, that's his to deal with. There's just no way you can turn back the clock without causing more harm, especially if he and his new wife have children now.

 

[Svt4Him]

You are divorced. I think the verse taken out of context is when Jesus talked about divorce. It is my opinion, and I am open to hear others view, that Jesus was talking about divorce in situations where one wanted to marry another. That is the only way I can reconcile it with all other verses. But apart from that, your ex is remarried, so you have no right to pray that God will end that.

 

[Avaya]

After seeking counseling post-marriage, my pastor/counselor told me that even if me and my husband were not married, the fact that his ex was re-married meant that he and she could never restore their relationship. That she belongs to another man now and her coming back to my husband would be a sin against her current husband.

You have now realized the err of your divorce and it's your duty to seek God's forgiveness. If you have a respectful relationship with your ex, you might BRIEFLY (remember his wife's feelings) explain to him that you didn't realize the sin you were committing when you filed for divorce but you do now and just want to ask him to forgive you. Hopefully he will say that he's gotten over the hurt and is now happy in his marriage.

 

[fluffy_rainbow]

I agree with what the others have said. While the Bible is our guidebook, many of the laws pertaining to divorce only applied to the Jews and oftentimes Christians get far too legalistic about it. Yes, God hates divorce, but He does not hate the divorced. God hates divorce because it hurts people, not because it's the worst sin you could ever commit. I remember thinking the same thing you are about my ex-husband, "are we still married?", "should I seek reconciliation?", "am I commanded to be single a celibate forever now?". I made my peace with my ex last Christmas when I mustered up the courage to call him and ask that he forgive me for whatever transgressions I had committed against him. He forgave me and asked for my forgiveness. The conversation was short, sweet, and to the point as I did not want to hang onto any old "baggage" and did not want to give him any ideas or present any temptation since he has since remarried and had a child with his new wife. Try not to beat yourself up about it. It's over, it's done with, don't try and read between the lines, ask for forgiveness and do the best you can to move on. I mean, lots of people misinterpret the Scriptures when it comes to divorce. I mean, I've heard people say that the Bible says a woman cannot leave her husband even if he cheats on her, but the man can divorce a cheating wife. Come on now... :-/

 

[Leanna]

Sometimes things get so tangled up that there's no way to unravel them and straighten them out. In a situation like that, you just have to confess your part in the problem, accept God's forgiveness, and move on from whereever you are right now. If he committed adultery by remarrying, then the adultery has severed his connection with you, and you are now free to get on with your own life. If there was any sin in his remarrying, that's his to deal with. There's just no way you can turn back the clock without causing more harm, especially if he and his new wife have children now.

I agree!

 

[GIGATT247]

Thank you all for your replies. They were however sad to read and I can see I am not the only one who has been misled. If you try to find remarriage in the bible you will not find it because it is not there. Also Matt 5:32 which I also translated to mean that adultery was a right to get a divorce does not mention adultery at all, rather fornication. This means that if a man takes a wife and finds that she was not a virgin (fornicator), then he can put her away. Also Duet 24:1-4 does state that a man can not take back his former wife but we must understand that was the old testament where the only sacrifice for sin was burnt offerings. In the new testament Jesus came and became our lamb and when the disciples questioned him about the divorce laws in the old testament He told them that those rules were only because of the hardness of hearts. Jesus was about love and forgiveness so why would He say we could divorce for adultery. Would that not be the same as unforgiveness because true forgiveness would excuse the act. Please explain this to me. How can two christians stand before each other and God and make to each other until death and it be possible for them to make the same vows until death to someone else? Even though we may forget the vows we make to God, He does not. Just like if we forget we our saved (backsliding), He doesn't. God gave me one husband and I may have lost sight of the vow I made to God, but He didn't. My eyes have been open to the truth and they can not be closed. I only hope that I can open someone else's eyes so they can at least search the scriptures for themselves and find the truth. I believe God that the husband I thought I divorced 6 years ago is still my husband because man did not join us together. God joined us together long before we stood before man. That being the case man did not have authority over God to separate us. The woman he is with now can not be his wife because God has not taken me in death. He is in an adulterous relationship and for 6 years no one knew that but now that God has revealed the truth to me I am living in prayer and I don't know how and I don't know when but one day I will be posting my resurrection of marriage. My life the way God intended for it to be and not the way I made it.

 

[GIGATT247]

Pagetha and Leanna,

I am so sorry that you believe that there are things in this world that God can't fix. I can not agree with you because I know that there is nothing too hard for God. Also if my husband is committing adultery I caused him to and it is my problem too. Also it the responsibility of all of us as christians to release others from sin in prayer. I am also sorry if you feel that knowing that someone is in sin is just their problem. In everything that Jesus did he was always moved to compassion as we should be. It saddens my heart to know anyone is in sin especially a man I love so deeply. It is not just his to deal with. It is mine and yours if you join with me as a joint heir with Christ. Pray for me as I will pray for you.

 

[GIGATT247]

Svt4him,

Tell God that I am divorced because He says otherwise. The right to divorce is only mentioned one time in reference to marriage in Matt5:32 and it is given to the man saving for the cause of fornication ( sex between two unmarried persons). Which must mean before the marraiage. Search the scriptures for yourself, don't be misled as I was. God will show you the truth if you want to see it.

 

[GIGATT247]

EVERYONE PLEASE READ FROM THE KJV AS IT IS OUR ORIGINAL TRANSLATION. MAN HAS CHANGED THINGS SO MUCH WITH OTHER TRANSLATION. BUT IT IS GOD'S REQUEST THAT WE ADD NOR TAKE AWAY.

 

[InTheFlame]

Gigatt... I hope that you will examine your motives very carefully, seek God's will with all your heart, and talk with some of the elders in your church. I suspect that your feelings about your current marriage may be distorting your thinking somewhat.

*hugs* God bless.

 

[Svt4Him]

Hmmm...pulls out troll sign, just in case it's needed.

 

[GIGATT247]

Avaya,

Ask your pastor if we are to still give give burnt offering as sacrifice for sin since he is still stuck in old testament laws. Jesus ( our living sacrifice) came and changed so many things. In the old testament women were put to death for fornication (Duet 22:22). In the new testament they were just put away (Matt 5:32, 19:9). In the old testament man was permiited to put away his wife even if she did not committ fornication (Duet 24:1). In the new testament man was only permitted to put his wife away for fornication (Matt 5:32, 19:9). In the old testament a woman put away and married to another was not an adultery (Duet 24:2). In the new testament a women put away is an adulterer if she marries someone else (Matt 5:32, Romans 7:2-3). In the old testament the man the woman married was not an adulterer (Duet 24:2-3). In the new testament the man the woman marries is an adulterer (Matt 5:32,19:9). In the old testament the first husband was barred from taking back his wife after she remarried (Duet 24:4). In the new testament the first husband can take back his wife after remarriage (I Corinthians 7:11). God definitely wants us to use and acknowledge the old testament, but He also wants us to see how things changed when He gave us the precious gift of His only son. Plese search the scriptures for yourself. God is no respecter of persons and He will show you the truth just as He has shown me. I only wish I would have seen it sooner but I trust Him that all things work together for the good because I do love him. His time, not mine. Pray for me as I will you.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

EVERYONE PLEASE READ FROM THE KJV AS IT IS OUR ORIGINAL TRANSLATION. MAN HAS CHANGED THINGS SO MUCH WITH OTHER TRANSLATION. BUT IT IS GOD'S REQUEST THAT WE ADD NOR TAKE AWAY.

Offtopic and EXTREMELY inflammatory.

 

[GIGATT247]

InTheFlame,

I have no current marriage. He never gave man the authority to dissolve the one He gave me or to perform another one. God says 1 wife, 1 husband, 1 marriage, at 1 time. UNTIL DEATH. No on ever died. These feeling are like salvation. God gave them to me and no one can take them away. I know what kind of God He is. We are not allowed to run around making vows and not keeping them, nor are we able to undo what He has done. I can not be with both men until death so which vows do you suppose God heard. I would say the first ones only because His ears were closed to the second ones and nor did I mean them in my heart. So above all sins I am also guilty for lying, I just wanted to replace what I thought I lost all those years ago. Once we are saved we never go back to being sinners. We are with sin, but never again considered sinners. Once I got married God has always saw me as married, maybe without my husband, but never the less still married.

 

[brettnolan]

Hmmm...pulls out troll sign, just in case it's needed.

Brought mine too

 

[pegatha]

Eidted: I had previously quoted from Deuteronomy because I misread part of a previous post where Deuteronomy was mentioned. So here's a relevant passage from 1 Corinthians 7:13-15 instead, in KJV as requested:

[13] And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
[14] For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
[15] But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

GIgatt, your husband has departed. You are no longer under bondage to him.

 

[InTheFlame]

InTheFlame,

I have no current marriage. He never gave man the authority to dissolve the one He gave me or to perform another one. God says 1 wife, 1 husband, 1 marriage, at 1 time. UNTIL DEATH. No on ever died. These feeling are like salvation. God gave them to me and no one can take them away. I know what kind of God He is. We are not allowed to run around making vows and not keeping them, nor are we able to undo what He has done. I can not be with both men until death so which vows do you suppose God heard. I would say the first ones only because His ears were closed to the second ones and nor did I mean them in my heart. So above all sins I am also guilty for lying, I just wanted to replace what I thought I lost all those years ago. Once we are saved we never go back to being sinners. We are with sin, but never again considered sinners. Once I got married God has always saw me as married, maybe without my husband, but never the less still married.

I say again, look at your motives. I'm not saying they're wrong, I'm not saying they're right. I don't know. But until you can say honestly to God that you're seeking ONLY to serve him and to do his will, and that your own feelings will not influence your decisions, all the logic in the world will not help you.

The reason I suspect your motives is that the first post of yours that I saw was one saying, 'I think I made a mistake marrying this man - he isn't the sort of husband I want' .... and now you've found justification for dissolving the marriage. It's too convenient.

All the verses you've mentioned say DON'T remarry. They don't speak about what to do if you HAVE remarried and repent of your former actions. You definitely do have a problem, I'll grant you that. Your problem is, you not only broke your first vow, you renounced it with divorce. Your husband, the injured party, has remarried - and I believe that since you renounced that vow you both made, he can do so with a clean conscience. Are YOU committing adultery by remarrying? I don't know. I say stop arguing and start talking to some wise people you know in person.

 

[GIGATT247]

Eidted: I had previously quoted from Deuteronomy because I misread part of a previous post where Deuteronomy was mentioned. So here's a relevant passage from 1 Corinthians 7:13-15 instead, in KJV as requested:

[13] And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
[14] For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
[15] But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

GIgatt, your husband has departed. You are no longer under bondage to him.

My husband was not an unbeliever nor did he depart. I put him away and pushed him into a life of adultery. Just as I he was a christian who had just lost sight of the truth. Once saved always saved. And still those scriptures do not say we are free to remarry. Bondage in those scriptures and called to peace means that God has made us free from worry, not free to remarry. How do we know that what we do will save them? We must let them go and let God deal with them with peace, not bondage (worry). I have searched the scriptures for any means to justify where my life is right now and I can't find any. Right now I just want to be right with God.