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Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together

Discussion in 'Questions From Singles About Marriage' started by Bella Vita, Jan 2, 2012.

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  1. Bella Vita

    Bella Vita Sailor in the U.S.N

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    Anyone else getting this book tomorrow? I am so excited I have been waiting forever for it to come out. I absolutely love Mark and Grace Driscoll and for them to write this book together...it is going to be amazing!! My husband and I are going though it together and then are going to see them on their book tour in September. Mark and Grace will be touring for this book for the next two years. They care so much about the issue of marriage and how in our society it is failing that they are going all around the country to talk about it. Very excited hope you all read it let me know if you do and what you think. This is a great read even if you are not married yet, but are going to be in the future it answers pretty much any and all questions you could ever have. =]

    Amazon.com: Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship, and Life Together (9781400203833): Mark Driscoll, Grace Driscoll: Books

    *They also have a workbook you can get to study through with your spouse/partner.*


    Pastor Mark Driscoll and his wife, Grace, talk about sex and marriage in down-to-earth terms, hitting issues other Christian books won't.
    While a wonderful wedding day is important, it's the last day of marriage that really counts. Will the last day of your marriage come prematurely through divorce? Will it be filled with regrets as you sit at the funeral of your spouse? Or, by God's grace, will the last day be a day to rejoice in the life you lived together?
    Pastor Mark Driscoll and his wife, Grace, want you to finish well on the last day. From the importance of date nights to answers to the most tricky "can we do that?" sex questions, they share practical help and hope with people just like them-who entered marriage a complete mess-or who are planning to be married someday and want to avoid some sticky pitfalls.
    Together Pastor Mark and Grace tackle the tough issues, such as:

    • Why being your spouse's best friend changes everything and how to achieve it.
    • Pornography and sexual sin inside and outside of marriage.
    • Submission and respect - marriage's most misunderstood tenets-and what they should really look like.
    • Honoring your spouse emotionally, technologically, and financially.
    • What the Bible says about masturbation and oral sex.
    • The "Can we do that?" questions you're too embarrassed to ask your pastor.
    • How to deal with intimacy issues and create the joyful and fun sex life God intended you to have.
    • What type of man or woman are you? What type of lover are you? And what type of marriage do you have?
     
  2. Luther073082

    Luther073082 κύριε ἐλέησον χριστὲ ἐλέησον

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    Driscoll is a purity pharisee and a major part of the manlyness cult in the church. I really don't care what the man has to say about anything.

    The great love affair Christians have with Mark Driscoll is more disturbing then anything. I personally can't stand him.
     
  3. Bella Vita

    Bella Vita Sailor in the U.S.N

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    Your allowed your opinion but I like his speaking style and his theology.
     
  4. LinkH

    LinkH Regular Member

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    What is your basis for judging your brother as a Pharisee. Paul said, "I am a Pharisee. The son of a Pharisee." Would you listen to anything he has to say?

    What is 'the manlyness cult'?


    Do you find that you cannot stand a lot of brothers in Christ?
     
  5. Bella Vita

    Bella Vita Sailor in the U.S.N

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    Christians have become so uptight about sex and there is very little understanding of what is ok and what isn't. Many couples just stop having sex all together and their marriages are suffering because of it. They associate it with being dirty or perverted not as bringing glory to God. It is a major issue with Christian marriage that is leading to divorce. Sex is good and was created by God and we need to learn how to enjoy it with our spouses and not be afraid of it. Mark Driscoll is not perfect he is still human but I love that a pastor is being bold about these issues and is speaking up about it. We need to stop running from sex and being afraid of it because our marriages are suffering. And how can we be the standard for the world when our marriages are suffering just as fast.

    This book opens up a lot of much needed discussion among married couples today. =]
     
  6. Luther073082

    Luther073082 κύριε ἐλέησον χριστὲ ἐλέησον

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    Purity Pharisee. . . Driscoll has come out many times telling unmarried couples to avoid physical intimacies that they are not instructed to avoid in the bible. Things such as kissing. If its not in the bible but you are teaching people like it is a command. You are a pharisee.

    Telling men to man up and listing off 300 things, 295 of which arn't found in the bible that you must do to be a "real man".

    Its been pointed out many times that Christians telling men to man up is essetitally the same as encouraging them to please women and not to please God.

    Nope. . . just manlyness cultists and purity pharisee's like Driscoll. I'm also not a fan of those who call themselves brothers but are power hungry, will not take criticism, and have no humility what so ever. Driscoll fits all 3 of these as well. He has excommunicated other pastors from Mars Hill for daring to be critical of the direction he is taking the church.

    He wants his church to center around him and no one else. That is why all of the Mars Hill churchs all tune into him for the sermon. The leaders of most churchs, try to shepard the pastors and administrativly lead their churchs, not try to make sure everyone in the church listens to THEIR sermons.

    Also Driscoll is a flat out liar. I can tell you for a fact that Martin Luther doesn't agree with his theology, yet he loves to claim that Luther does through his selective reading of Luther.

    The man is flat out insulting and essentially questions the manhood of any man that isn't exactly like him. Like to play video games occasionally?? Congradulations you are too immature for marriage and are a boy in a mans body. What if God forbid your wife works. . . Too immature for marriage and possibly a loser.

    The only way you can be a man in his mind is to be exactly like him.

    For the record, I do like to occasionally play video games, and yes my wife does work. . . and those things arn't banned in the bible. Because Jesus unlike Driscoll doesn't pigeonhole people into being only 1 way. He gives commands, sets out an attitude to live by and you are free to be yourself.

    And just for the record. . . I also work full time and I'm far from addicted or anything close to addicted to video games or really anything. Of course in Driscoll's mind those things are not really possible. You are either addicted to video games or you don't play them at all.

    I can't stand pharisee's like Driscoll. . . I guess they are an off branch of the pietist movement.

    I'm a Neo/Old Lutheran Evangelical Catholic. . . and strongly opposed to pietist movements and their false teachings.

    Old Lutherans - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    Neo-Lutheranism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    Evangelical Catholic - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
    Pietism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
     
  7. Luther073082

    Luther073082 κύριε ἐλέησον χριστὲ ἐλέησον

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    Our marriages are suffering because of him and people like him. The fact that he's trying to repair some of the damage that HE HAS CAUSED, does not win him any support from me.
     
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  8. Bella Vita

    Bella Vita Sailor in the U.S.N

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    You clearly don't know anything about Driscoll or his preaching so ya I'm moving on. I don't know what the Pietism movement is but Driscoll is classified as Reformed.
     
  9. Bella Vita

    Bella Vita Sailor in the U.S.N

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    What do you mean that he has caused have you ever even read anything by him or watched a sermon of his? He has been married to the same women for 20 some years and has 5 children. They believe and preach that marriage is between one man and one women and that we are equal in God but have different yet complementary roles as husband and wife.

    "Mars Hill is committed to complementarianism in the home and church. We also believe that men and women are partners in every area of life and ministry together. Though equal, men and women have biblically defined complementary and distinct roles, so that husbands are to lovingly lead their homes like Jesus and only men should serve as pastors in the church. Because of the sinful propensity of humans to distort the biblical concept of complementarianism, it’s important to cultivate a compassionate and kind complementarianism that starts with celebrating Christ’s love for the church. Likewise we encourage men to love their wives and children, and for pastors to lead and serve people sacrificially."
    Complementari–what? | The Resurgence
     
  10. Luther073082

    Luther073082 κύριε ἐλέησον χριστὲ ἐλέησον

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    Actually I think you don't know much about Driscoll or the Pietism movement (which is a wide movement accross several Christian denominations, which widely influenced the Prussian Union between Lutheran and Reformed churchs and us Old Lutherans are still kinda ticked about.)

    But here you Go. . .

    Driscoll on Video Games. . .

    Video Games Aren’t Sinful, They’re Just Stupid | The Mars Hill Blog

    Oh so my hobbies and the things I do to unwind are stupid. Thanks Driscoll you are totally winning my support.

    Driscoll: “Video Games are Stupid” and Other Sins of Communication | Christ and Pop Culture

    Driscoll on being a "real man"

    Mark Driscoll Is A Bully «

    http://rachelheldevans.com/mark-driscoll-bully?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+RachelHeldEvans+%28Rachel+Held+Evans+-+Blog%29&utm_content=Google+Reader

    Driscoll can't tolerate critism

    Who Would Jesus Smack Down? - Mark Driscoll, a Pastor with a Macho Conception of Christ - NYTimes.com

    Oh thats nice, a few members question you as pastor and your solution is to "break their nose" - (Nice language from a "pastor") and suspend them from membership.

    Real churchs handle dissent. . . Mars Hill throws it out.

    Its you my friend who don't know anything about Mark Driscoll. The man is a complete fraud if you ask me. But itching ears love to hear what he has to say.

    He essentially closes off the church. . . and Christ to anyone who doesn't meet his definition of a macho man. Apparently ultimate fighting is great. . . real people using real violence in a real fight. But a video game, no matter what it is is stupid.

    Yeah I can totally see Jesus getting involved in a cage match... Cause we all know if Jesus wasn't busy being Lord and Savior he'd just love to be an ultimate fighter!!!

    Really? Like really? This is your great Christian leader a man applauds violence and loves violent imagery?
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2012
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  11. Mrs. Luther073082

    Mrs. Luther073082 Commit to the LORD whatever you do - Proverbs 16:3

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    Ultimate fighter Jesus FTW!!!

    [​IMG]


    ... :sorry:
     
  12. Luther073082

    Luther073082 κύριε ἐλέησον χριστὲ ἐλέησον

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    I missed this before. Its Drisscoll and his purity pharisee ways that have been ruining marriages. A couple thats afraid to kiss eachother before getting married is suddenly suppose to jump into marriage and be able to openly and honestly talk about sex after they are married??

    Its not going to work like that. Artifically keeping couples from all forms of physical intimacy (which is NOT commanded by the bible) and then suddenly expecting them to take up all forms of physical intimacy upon marriage is what is causeing couples to have intimacy problems upon marriage.

    You are not only asking them to avoid sexual imtimacy which is what you should do. . . but you are making them afraid of every form of intimacy for the fear that simpily holding someone's hand or giving them a peck on the lips will drive them mad with lust. Its insane and its ruining marital sexuality for these people later on. So Drisscoll running in and writing a book to repair some of the damage that he himself is causing isn't going to make me stand up and applaud.

    Here is a thought maybe the faith would have been better off if hypermasculine, posturing, poorly trained, egotistical, and unqualified preachers like him didn't preach it would be for the best.

    The fact that the man is charasmatic doesn't make him a good preacher. I'd rather have a guy with no charisma who knows how to preach the gospel then a hypermasculine nutjob like him who only knows how to whine about "girly men", "effeminate preachers", video games, and blame the wives of men who turn out to be gay for their husband's homosexuality.
     
  13. Bella Vita

    Bella Vita Sailor in the U.S.N

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    I have never once heard him say people can't kiss. He has said to be cautious that you need boundaries so as not to be sinning before marriage. But he is a man who had sex before he was married he knows what they can do to a person. I have never heard him say that please show me the sermon where he says this please. And I have never hear dhim blame a women for her husband being gay where do you get this crap from? Do you actually watch his sermons or read his books or do you just read critics of him cause they are very different you are getting a bias view.

    Either way you can dislike him it's you choice I like him this book is great so far I really like it. And it could help other people. And not everyone hates Drsicoll clearly or he wouldn't have one for the fastest growing churches in the country. So this thread is for those people not you.
     
  14. Luther073082

    Luther073082 κύριε ἐλέησον χριστὲ ἐλέησον

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    Did you hear what he said after it was revealed that Ted Haggard was gay? He essentially blamed his wife for "letting herself go" for Ted Haggard's homosexuality.

    Local News | Pastor's apology defuses demonstration at church | Seattle Times Newspaper

    That is Mark Driscoll's intital response to Ted Haggard being gay. On top of being demeaning and acting like he knows all about Ted Haggard's marriage. . . its just downright stupid. And besides it doesn't even apply!!! Even if she gained 300 pounds and was never having sex with Mr. Haggard. . . that doesn't make a man gay, trust me. It might apply if he was cheating on her with a WOMAN... but then again that's still presuming that he knows whats going on in their marriage (which he doesn't).

    Now to be fair he did apologize for that remark, but what kind of pastor shoots his mouth off without thinking like that?

    Yes a lot of people have itching ears. The fact that people like him doesn't mean anything. A lot of people liked Hitler... (No I'm comparing the two, I'm just saying the fact that a lot of people like you means zip.)

    If you are going to advertise for a book that was written by a man so insulting and underqualified as Mark Driscoll, then you need to expect me to speak up and show the other side of Mark Driscoll, who expects every man to act just like him in order to be a 'real man'.

    So I'm going to present the other side of Mark Driscoll, the fact that he's a hypermasculine nut who doesn't think about what he says and seems far more concerned with "being a real man" and "too many effeminate preachers" then he is with the actual gospel of Christ.
     
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2012
  15. c1ners

    c1ners Senior Contributor

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    I bought the book the other day and plan on reading it once I'm done with the series I'm reading now. Which will be a while because the series is 7 books and a few hundred pages per book.

    But if it's not good I'm going to come after you for a refund! ;)
     
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  16. dobieman0488

    dobieman0488 Member

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    luther, have you even listened to Driscoll's sermons, or have you just read his critics?
     
  17. Speculative

    Speculative Senior Veteran

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    A guy named Leif Moi used to be a pastor at Mars Hill and he used to have a radio show where he talked about a lot of things--but one of the things he did was to give marriage advice and advice on "How to be a man". I followed some of his suggestions and it was one of the worst mistakes I've made in my marriage. YMMV, of course, but as for me and my house, we're staying away from anything from Mars Hill.
     
  18. Bella Vita

    Bella Vita Sailor in the U.S.N

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    Started reading the book last night and the very first thing they say in the preface (paraphrasing) this is our marriage and our experiences. One thing that may have worked for us may not work for you. We fully understand that all marriages are different and methods vary from family to family. This is a book about our story we want to share it and give advice but we do not want couples copying action for action our marriage you still need to communicate with one another and do what is best for you. This is not the Bible and should not supplement for your Bible this is a scripture based book of advice and personal experiences, but you should still be seeking the real Bible not just this book.

    So we really like it so far we are looking forward to the video series that starts next week. You tried one thing from Marshill years ago by a guy that wasn't even Mark Driscoll that isn't a reason to hate it just sayin.
     
  19. Bella Vita

    Bella Vita Sailor in the U.S.N

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    We have really enojed it so far let me know how it goes once you start on it. =]
     
  20. Bella Vita

    Bella Vita Sailor in the U.S.N

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    Not only do people like him and understand him but his ministry is being blessed by God. He is reaching people in one of the most unchurched areas of our country that is amazing and God driven. You seem to be stuck on this "real man" thing and it is true he has a passion for the fact that boys are refusing to grow up in this country. They are staying boys for way to long and it is hurting the future of Christianity. It is a real problem that he preaches on and sheds light on. We have boys who want to act like men but yet they are afraid to commit to a wife yet will sleep with whoever whenever that they want. They are still living at home with their parents with no responsibility. We have a nation of wanna be men who are really little boys. Driscoll speaks on this because it is an issue in churches and in our society. These boys can not lead in churches when they are refusing to step up to the plate and grow up.

    You posted his apology of all things he said sorry for what was said he is still a sinner just like we are none are perfect only Jesus. He at least had the guts to come out and say he was sorry many public figures would have just went on about their business. He did something wrong he admitted it and asked for forgiveness that is what a Christian should do.
     
    Last edited: Jan 7, 2012
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