(Rant) I'm beginning to lose faith...

[imlosingit]

Disclaimer: I don't want anyone trying to manipulate me into straying into unbelief, away from Christianity, or whatever.
Wednesday evening this week, I have a distress episode, about feeling ugly, and wanting stretch my face to make it better. Today, I had another distress episode about my height, ethnic ancestry, and a few other things. Ever since 2021, I've been hating my height and my ugliness, almost every day feeling insecure about one thing or another, along with intrusive sexual thoughts. I have a strong desire for companionship, but I feel my that height (between 5'7 and 5'9) and probably ugly face, along with how I act, admittedly, would restrict me from getting one, especially if it comes to certain kinds of women that I like. In April of 2023, I started to want to get into Eastern Orthodox Christianity. And now, I really want to stray away from technology and social media (I know it's ironic that I'm posting here, but I don't know what to do.) Unfortunately, I've never been able to feel God's presence, and I do pray every now and then. But I can't help but resent God for making me this way. And unfortunately, my mother who claims herself to be spiritual just keeps saying the same thing over and over again. I resent the fact of her marrying my dad, for a number of reasons, including the fact that she's Russian, but I was born only half-Russian, American raised and such. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, and I've never really felt that attractive, even now as a soon to be 20 year-old soon-to-be failure. I'm beginning to lose faith in God, especially with what I've become, and how I am now. And I don't know what to do. My mother would just say the same thing, and we'd get into another fight about my insecurities, if I went to her right, her claiming I can just turn them off and whatever. Well it ain't so easy, is it?!?! Not to mention the fact about how much we fight about my college, and how much I slack at school, even if I'm breaking personal barriers!!! I admit, I haven't really read the bible that much, plus I still struggle with my faith, but I don't know if God really is there. And if he is, but he made me this way, ugly and short, why couldn't he have just made me Asexual and Aromantic, so that I would never have a strong desire for a relationship? I know I shouldn't focus on that solely, and focus on him, but with what I've been dealing with, I'm really beginning to lose it. And sometimes I wish I could just die already, so that I can get over with this life. I don't know about getting therapy or a psychologist, either, because I don't want to have to use my money trying to fix something that wasn't completely my fault, especially in the economy so-called "greatest country in the world," aka America. Please, somebody pray for me, or tell me something sent by God, if he truly is there. I don't know what it is, whether I'm just a bad person, possessed, or whatever... Please help me, someone, God, or whatever!!!...

 

[Richard T]

I am sorry you struggle so but God is your answer, not your problem. In your heart you know that is true. We all blame him sometimes for things we do not like but the reality is that if we follow and trust God things are going to be good. Your mixed up in your identity, and rightly so but lucky to be in the usa. I know countries in the world where just being a USA citizen will make you a star. The reality is that all kinds of people find relationships, some with large differences in looks, intelligence or other gifts. I would not sell yourself out. Instead focus more on college. Others like financial security more than we imagine. You don;t have to be rich but stable with a good job is always attractive.

As you are not sure you know God much at all, if I may I pray he reveals himself to you. That the Holy Spirit will show you the way and that you will be humble enough to see and embrace God.

Please realize too that mainstream Christianity in the USA does not have its own personal God. The history of Christianity is rich. With that said, the churches that see and hear from God is what I would be seeking. Again you are fortunate to be in America. Yes, there are some that are all form with little substance but many are genuine with some even understanding the power, love and grace of God.

 

[Joseph G]

Romans 9:20 NIV

"But who are you, a human being, to talk back to God? “Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’”

2 Corinthians 5 NIV

Awaiting the New Body​

5 For we know that if the earthly tent we live in is destroyed, we have a building from God, an eternal house in heaven, not built by human hands. 2 Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, 3 because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. 4 For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed instead with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. 5 Now the one who has fashioned us for this very purpose is God, who has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.
6 Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. 7 For we live by faith, not by sight. 8 We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. 9 So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. 10 For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.

The Ministry of Reconciliation​

11 Since, then, we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade others. What we are is plain to God, and I hope it is also plain to your conscience. 12 We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us, so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart. 13 If we are “out of our mind,” as some say, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. 14 For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. 15 And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
16 So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19 that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. 20 We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. 21 God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."

 

[Curiousmind]

Well, what you can do for urself, adopt healthy life style, eat healthy, go to the gym or do some sport you enjoy doing, you could start running this is simple to do and very helpfull to fight stress and good for brain, don't watch p*rn, p*rn kills your libido and makes u feel like crap after a while. Do sleep consistent, go to bed same time, wake up same time, this is no joke, I made this mistake by not sleeping enough. Not sleeping enough will kill your brain cells, learning ability, your mood. Do learn some skill to earn money, you gonna need financials if you grow up and want to start a family. Regarding romance, dating, just observe couples, what do u see ? Not only the really attractive people are dating are they ? there are also average looking couples. I hope this helps.

 

[Curiousmind]

Regarding sleep, please do sleep consistent, I have less negative thoughts since I sleep consistent, check this out, regarding sleep,

 

[Curiousmind]

Regarding height, well observe around, I mean not everyone is tall right ? I am 5 feet 5 inches by the way, if I observe around I see tall and short people, tall couples, short couples etc.

 

[Aussie Pete]

Disclaimer: I don't want anyone trying to manipulate me into straying into unbelief, away from Christianity, or whatever.
Wednesday evening this week, I have a distress episode, about feeling ugly, and wanting stretch my face to make it better. Today, I had another distress episode about my height, ethnic ancestry, and a few other things. Ever since 2021, I've been hating my height and my ugliness, almost every day feeling insecure about one thing or another, along with intrusive sexual thoughts. I have a strong desire for companionship, but I feel my that height (between 5'7 and 5'9) and probably ugly face, along with how I act, admittedly, would restrict me from getting one, especially if it comes to certain kinds of women that I like. In April of 2023, I started to want to get into Eastern Orthodox Christianity. And now, I really want to stray away from technology and social media (I know it's ironic that I'm posting here, but I don't know what to do.) Unfortunately, I've never been able to feel God's presence, and I do pray every now and then. But I can't help but resent God for making me this way. And unfortunately, my mother who claims herself to be spiritual just keeps saying the same thing over and over again. I resent the fact of her marrying my dad, for a number of reasons, including the fact that she's Russian, but I was born only half-Russian, American raised and such. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, and I've never really felt that attractive, even now as a soon to be 20 year-old soon-to-be failure. I'm beginning to lose faith in God, especially with what I've become, and how I am now. And I don't know what to do. My mother would just say the same thing, and we'd get into another fight about my insecurities, if I went to her right, her claiming I can just turn them off and whatever. Well it ain't so easy, is it?!?! Not to mention the fact about how much we fight about my college, and how much I slack at school, even if I'm breaking personal barriers!!! I admit, I haven't really read the bible that much, plus I still struggle with my faith, but I don't know if God really is there. And if he is, but he made me this way, ugly and short, why couldn't he have just made me Asexual and Aromantic, so that I would never have a strong desire for a relationship? I know I shouldn't focus on that solely, and focus on him, but with what I've been dealing with, I'm really beginning to lose it. And sometimes I wish I could just die already, so that I can get over with this life. I don't know about getting therapy or a psychologist, either, because I don't want to have to use my money trying to fix something that wasn't completely my fault, especially in the economy so-called "greatest country in the world," aka America. Please, somebody pray for me, or tell me something sent by God, if he truly is there. I don't know what it is, whether I'm just a bad person, possessed, or whatever... Please help me, someone, God, or whatever!!!...

You are looking at yourself as if you were outside of Christ. That is certain to make you miserable. If you are outside of Christ, then you need to be born again. There is no joy or peace for sinners. Even those "beautiful people" are miserable deep down.

Assuming you are saved, then the answer is to "Look to Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith". If you are saved and yet not studying God's word, you are suffering spiritual malnutrition. There is no joy in that either. I advise you to read the first two chapters of Ephesians. Make a note of everything that God says is yours in Christ. When you do this, you will find that God will grant you

"........console the mourners in Zion—to give them a crown of beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, and a garment of praise for a spirit of despair. So they will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified." (Isaiah 61:3)

 

[65James]

Disclaimer: I don't want anyone trying to manipulate me into straying into unbelief, away from Christianity, or whatever.
Wednesday evening this week, I have a distress episode, about feeling ugly, and wanting stretch my face to make it better. Today, I had another distress episode about my height, ethnic ancestry, and a few other things. Ever since 2021, I've been hating my height and my ugliness, almost every day feeling insecure about one thing or another, along with intrusive sexual thoughts. I have a strong desire for companionship, but I feel my that height (between 5'7 and 5'9) and probably ugly face, along with how I act, admittedly, would restrict me from getting one, especially if it comes to certain kinds of women that I like. In April of 2023, I started to want to get into Eastern Orthodox Christianity. And now, I really want to stray away from technology and social media (I know it's ironic that I'm posting here, but I don't know what to do.) Unfortunately, I've never been able to feel God's presence, and I do pray every now and then. But I can't help but resent God for making me this way. And unfortunately, my mother who claims herself to be spiritual just keeps saying the same thing over and over again. I resent the fact of her marrying my dad, for a number of reasons, including the fact that she's Russian, but I was born only half-Russian, American raised and such. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, and I've never really felt that attractive, even now as a soon to be 20 year-old soon-to-be failure. I'm beginning to lose faith in God, especially with what I've become, and how I am now. And I don't know what to do. My mother would just say the same thing, and we'd get into another fight about my insecurities, if I went to her right, her claiming I can just turn them off and whatever. Well it ain't so easy, is it?!?! Not to mention the fact about how much we fight about my college, and how much I slack at school, even if I'm breaking personal barriers!!! I admit, I haven't really read the bible that much, plus I still struggle with my faith, but I don't know if God really is there. And if he is, but he made me this way, ugly and short, why couldn't he have just made me Asexual and Aromantic, so that I would never have a strong desire for a relationship? I know I shouldn't focus on that solely, and focus on him, but with what I've been dealing with, I'm really beginning to lose it. And sometimes I wish I could just die already, so that I can get over with this life. I don't know about getting therapy or a psychologist, either, because I don't want to have to use my money trying to fix something that wasn't completely my fault, especially in the economy so-called "greatest country in the world," aka America. Please, somebody pray for me, or tell me something sent by God, if he truly is there. I don't know what it is, whether I'm just a bad person, possessed, or whatever... Please help me, someone, God, or whatever!!!.

Well the modern church is now teaching a new thing the gift of singleness. But most singles rightly don’t see it as a gift but more of a curse. Especially considering that before the Fall everything was good but man being alone was called not good.
But God loves love stories, Isaac and Rebekah Genesis 24, Ruth, Esther, Song of Solomon, and Christ and His bride the Church, Ephesians 5:22-33 these last two are connected.
So Christ‘s bride is the church that is those of us who know we are sinners and were condemned to God‘s wrath and eternal damnation. But we have escape it not because of anything we have done. But what Christ has done for us.
The Bible states:
For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Romans 6:23
We are told we all have sinned in Romans 3:23. So all humans, save Jesus Christ are sinners. So eternal death passes on all who don’t accept God’s gift thru His Son Jesus,Romans 5:12, 15. So the only difference between a Christian and sinner is that we have confessed with our mouth and believe in our heart while crying to the Father for our need for salvation thru Jesus, Romans 10:9-10.
This is the first step to a relationship with God. If you already did this or you will do this the next step is find a church home, attend and pray and do everything in your power to find someone. Don’t worry about your looks prayer warrior develop a beauty beyond anything the world can offer. Praying for you, if you don’t know Christ to come to Him and for a mate. Believe me I know how you feel I happen to also be a single much older man and it really SUCKS!

 

[FutureAndAHope]

Disclaimer: I don't want anyone trying to manipulate me into straying into unbelief, away from Christianity, or whatever.
Wednesday evening this week, I have a distress episode, about feeling ugly, and wanting stretch my face to make it better. Today, I had another distress episode about my height, ethnic ancestry, and a few other things. Ever since 2021, I've been hating my height and my ugliness, almost every day feeling insecure about one thing or another, along with intrusive sexual thoughts. I have a strong desire for companionship, but I feel my that height (between 5'7 and 5'9) and probably ugly face, along with how I act, admittedly, would restrict me from getting one, especially if it comes to certain kinds of women that I like. In April of 2023, I started to want to get into Eastern Orthodox Christianity. And now, I really want to stray away from technology and social media (I know it's ironic that I'm posting here, but I don't know what to do.) Unfortunately, I've never been able to feel God's presence, and I do pray every now and then. But I can't help but resent God for making me this way. And unfortunately, my mother who claims herself to be spiritual just keeps saying the same thing over and over again. I resent the fact of her marrying my dad, for a number of reasons, including the fact that she's Russian, but I was born only half-Russian, American raised and such. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, and I've never really felt that attractive, even now as a soon to be 20 year-old soon-to-be failure. I'm beginning to lose faith in God, especially with what I've become, and how I am now. And I don't know what to do. My mother would just say the same thing, and we'd get into another fight about my insecurities, if I went to her right, her claiming I can just turn them off and whatever. Well it ain't so easy, is it?!?! Not to mention the fact about how much we fight about my college, and how much I slack at school, even if I'm breaking personal barriers!!! I admit, I haven't really read the bible that much, plus I still struggle with my faith, but I don't know if God really is there. And if he is, but he made me this way, ugly and short, why couldn't he have just made me Asexual and Aromantic, so that I would never have a strong desire for a relationship? I know I shouldn't focus on that solely, and focus on him, but with what I've been dealing with, I'm really beginning to lose it. And sometimes I wish I could just die already, so that I can get over with this life. I don't know about getting therapy or a psychologist, either, because I don't want to have to use my money trying to fix something that wasn't completely my fault, especially in the economy so-called "greatest country in the world," aka America. Please, somebody pray for me, or tell me something sent by God, if he truly is there. I don't know what it is, whether I'm just a bad person, possessed, or whatever... Please help me, someone, God, or whatever!!!...

There are a few things to consider. The first is no matter how hard life becomes we should never cast off our salvation, it is the only thing that gives eternal life. God loves us and wants us to have eternal life, He would have us focus on that point above all else.

Luke 9:25 For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost?

The eternal can not be traded for anything here, in that time every tear will be wiped away. There will be no unmet needs.

But even in this life, God gives us hope.

Psa 27:13 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the LORD In the land of the living.

No one can guarantee anything in this life, I can't say you will have everything perfect.

Ecc 7:14-15 In the day of prosperity be joyful, But in the day of adversity consider: Surely God has appointed the one as well as the other, So that man can find out nothing that will come after him. I have seen everything in my days of vanity: There is a just man who perishes in his righteousness, And there is a wicked man who prolongs life in his wickedness.

But God will generally bless us as we follow Him, and give us our hearts desires.

Psa 37:4 Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.