Procastination - how it's linked to low self-esteem

[trinitygrace]

Hi! I am a chronic procrastinator. I am actually procrastinating right now as we speak because I should be getting to sleep but I am putting it off as I do everything. But one good thing is I am getting help for my procrastination. I am reading the book "The Now Habit" by Neil Fiore. It's really good. (I am on chapter 6 out of 9 chapters). It talks about the link btw. procrastination and low self-esteem and how many procrastinators suffer from low-esteem because they are scared to start or finish a project because of fear of criticism from others. Fiore believes that all humans aren't lazy at the core of their being, but instead he believes all humans have a strong will to progress and be productive. But things get in the way of that while growing up such as being criticized by your parents and made to feel like your best isn't good enough. I know from experience that I felt that way growing up and my brother and I are both procrastinators. We are successful at school and work, but we procrastinate all the time. I'm trying to break this horrible habit. It is definitely holding me back in life. Does anybody suffer from procrastination? And if so, could you please share your story, and any tips and advice on what works to overcome it? I'd greatly appreciate it!

God Bless!
Trinity

 

[Everlasting33]

Good thread!

Well, first off--are you a firstborn? I once read that firstborns are perfectionists and perfectionists are procrastinators!
Second, I am also procrastinating by not going to bed! For me, I have found that keeping daily goals have really decreased my procrastination. If I keep a goal that says, be in bed by 9...I will keep it or I will not be able to see my Steeler game ( i keep weekly goals and if I do not accomplish them 100% then my punishment is no football).
I have heard that time management also helps...but that is very similar to goals. Have you kept a goals list? Try it...it may work!

 

[trinitygrace]

Good thread!

Well, first off--are you a firstborn? I once read that firstborns are perfectionists and perfectionists are procrastinators!
Second, I am also procrastinating by not going to bed! For me, I have found that keeping daily goals have really decreased my procrastination. If I keep a goal that says, be in bed by 9...I will keep it or I will not be able to see my Steeler game ( i keep weekly goals and if I do not accomplish them 100% then my punishment is no football).
I have heard that time management also helps...but that is very similar to goals. Have you kept a goals list? Try it...it may work!

Actually, yes I am a first born, and yes I am a perfectionist! You are exactly right!

And I also find that keeping daily goals decreases my production at times, but sometimes I find it very necessary to make lists of things so I can organize my life, at least a little bit. When I make lists, I get most of the things done, but never all. I guess I just have too many high expectations of myself.

No, I have never made weekly goals. I can only take one day at a time. I have problems with time management and planning as well.

Thanks for your insight!

 

[Everlasting33]

Actually, yes I am a first born, and yes I am a perfectionist! You are exactly right!

And I also find that keeping daily goals decreases my production at times, but sometimes I find it very necessary to make lists of things so I can organize my life, at least a little bit. When I make lists, I get most of the things done, but never all. I guess I just have too many high expectations of myself.

No, I have never made weekly goals. I can only take one day at a time. I have problems with time management and planning as well.

Thanks for your insight!

Your welcome. Maybe try daily goals. It can't hurt.

 

[trinitygrace]

Your welcome. Maybe try daily goals. It can't hurt.

I will definitely try it! Thanks Steeler!

 

[Shannie]

I too am a perfectionist and a procrastinator. I spent a long time feeling guilty about being lazy and stuff, until I figured otu that link. I'm so scared of doing something poorly, I keep putting it off. Plus, once I do it I know I have an excuse if its not done well, cuz I didn't really try. I don't know if that makes sense...I have trouble explaining it.

Steelerbred, I like your idea of rewarding yourself if you meet all your goals, I think I might try that

Now I try to make schedules and stuff, to show myself I have time to get everything done in time. (I'm a student so its mostly assgts and exams and stuff). I also try to do things early, so I don't get crazy stressed which is when I start procrastinating. I know this makes no sense, but...thats what happens.

 

[childofgod89]

i found this interesting because i procrastinate on everything. i had a project assigned 3 weeks ago and its due tomorrow, but instead of working on it, or even starting it, im on here. but im not really sure if this is linked to my low self-esteem. lately, it seems that ive just lost all motivation. i dont care about passing school, dont care about graduating, dont care aobut getting into college, dont care about anything. is this really because of low self-esteem? part of me thinks im just lazy, but then again, ive done all, or most, of my work in the past. now i dont even do worksheets my teachers hand out in class. the other part of me thinks that maybe it is. my family really believes in me and is sure that ill do well and always tells me how smart i am. so maybe i feel like ill let them down if i try my best. its weird because i feel like im letting them down now and feel so guilty, but i still dont do any of my work. on top of that, i also feel that life is pointless. ive had bouts of low self-esteem and depression before, but its never been this bad. for aobut two months, ive felt that life is futile. it seems all i do is struggle from one step of life to the next. middle school to high school to college to graduate school to a job. i feel like ill never be happy, so whats the point of doing all this work. i just feel very oppressed right now. any insight into my situation? thanks if you read that and for any help you can give.

 

[trinitygrace]

I too am a perfectionist and a procrastinator. I spent a long time feeling guilty about being lazy and stuff, until I figured otu that link. I'm so scared of doing something poorly, I keep putting it off. Plus, once I do it I know I have an excuse if its not done well, cuz I didn't really try. I don't know if that makes sense...I have trouble explaining it.

Steelerbred, I like your idea of rewarding yourself if you meet all your goals, I think I might try that

Now I try to make schedules and stuff, to show myself I have time to get everything done in time. (I'm a student so its mostly assgts and exams and stuff). I also try to do things early, so I don't get crazy stressed which is when I start procrastinating. I know this makes no sense, but...thats what happens.

Actually Shannie, I know exactly where you are coming from. I, too am a college student and have been trying to get things done early so when I do procrastinate, I don't have to stress myself out so much because I already started the project. Procrastination is a horrible habit, but many many people suffer from it. It's interesting to know that procrastinators are certainly NOT lazy people. They just have a fear of failing, a fear of succes, or even a fear of starting the project due to their perfectionism.

 

[trinitygrace]

i found this interesting because i procrastinate on everything. i had a project assigned 3 weeks ago and its due tomorrow, but instead of working on it, or even starting it, im on here. but im not really sure if this is linked to my low self-esteem. lately, it seems that ive just lost all motivation. i dont care about passing school, dont care about graduating, dont care aobut getting into college, dont care about anything. is this really because of low self-esteem? part of me thinks im just lazy, but then again, ive done all, or most, of my work in the past. now i dont even do worksheets my teachers hand out in class. the other part of me thinks that maybe it is. my family really believes in me and is sure that ill do well and always tells me how smart i am. so maybe i feel like ill let them down if i try my best. its weird because i feel like im letting them down now and feel so guilty, but i still dont do any of my work. on top of that, i also feel that life is pointless. ive had bouts of low self-esteem and depression before, but its never been this bad. for aobut two months, ive felt that life is futile. it seems all i do is struggle from one step of life to the next. middle school to high school to college to graduate school to a job. i feel like ill never be happy, so whats the point of doing all this work. i just feel very oppressed right now. any insight into my situation? thanks if you read that and for any help you can give.

ChildofGod:

I'm so sorry to hear you feel so depressed and are struggling with a major loss of motivation. I'll definitely be praying for you that God will show you purpose in your life and give you the motivation you need to complete much-needed tasks.
I, too, struggle a good bit with lack of motivation. I think I struggle with this because I get so burned out with school, plus my job as a reporter for a local newspaper. All I seem to do is write and sometimes I just don't feel like doing it. What gets me going is praying to the Lord and asking him to give me the strength and energy to get it done. I also take lots of breaks and reward myself for the little bit that I do get done.
Life at times does seem pointless, I agree. But we have to remember that we, as Christians aren't living life for OURselves, but for Him. We must put Him first in all we do and do our jobs in life (whether it be school, work, a parent) to the best of our ability to glorify Him.
Do you like to read? If so, you should really check out this book I've been reading - "The Now Habit" by Neil Fiore. It's really good. I have found so many useful tips in there about how to overcome procrastination, its causes and what to do about it.
I hope this post helped you, at least a little bit. It does take effort to overcome procrastination, something I feel many people don't take seriously. It is a serious thing and can dramatically hinder your life in so many ways. I will be praying for you, child. Please pm me if you need any more advice. Take care and God Bless! ~Trinity

 

[Penny_Lane]

i procastinate alot too, i should be studying for an exam right now :/

 

[trinitygrace]

i procastinate alot too, i should be studying for an exam right now :/

Happy B-day Penny Lane!! Did you get your name from "Almost Famous"? I LOVE that movie!!

Yeah, I am supposed to be working on an 8 page paper for school. I'm done the research, just gotta write it.
I'll be doing that next.

If there is any way I can pray or minister to you, just let me know!

God Bless!
Trinity

 

[bill'swife]

Hello all...I am a major procrastinator!!! I am also the firstborn and a perfectionist!! Please pray for me and I will pray for you

 

[Penny_Lane]

""Happy B-day Penny Lane!! Did you get your name from "Almost Famous"? I LOVE that movie!! ""

:D THANK YOU!!! and originally it was a reference of the beatles, but then i watched the movie and loved it more. hehe

and ugh! im procrastinating again! im suposed to be breaking up with "boyfriend" now...*sigh

 

[junezephyr]

Procrastination is a vicious cycle for me. I tend to procrastinate out of low self-esteem (fearing that I won't be able to fully accomplish what I plan on), so I end up procrastinating even more, which in turn taxes my self-esteem even more because I end up not being productive. Argh.

 

[AWorkInProgress]

Hmm intresting article. I do agree that I hold back a lot because of fear of what people might think or breaking down some image I made for myself.

About the Perfectionist, is it the mentality "I will do this the right way the first time or not at all"?

I find that I just get overly consumed by thinking how to complete the chore/task rather than doing any part of it. After a while I just give up and move on to something easier or brainless task(i.e. video games).

Seems pure pressure and breaking a large task into easy to manage peices are only things that sorta work.

I don't know. Even with this information I can't seem to get my arms around how to win this battle.

 

[TimmyPage]

I find that I just get overly consumed by thinking how to complete the chore/task rather than doing any part of it. After a while I just give up and move on to something easier or brainless task(i.e. video games).

That's what I often do.. I spend all of my time orchestrating the perfect way of doing a task or assignment in my head.. but can't force myself to actually get down to it. I swear, I need some kind of mind reading scribe to follow me everywhere..

I'm also a firstborn, or at least, an only child. I also suffer deeply from self-esteem issues. The self esteem issues lead into other things with procrastination.. sometimes I feel like theres no point because everything I do is pure crap anyway... and sometimes my mind will just wonder back into that clinical depression place and completely disallow me from doing work.

 

[Beckster3]

i was so comforted when i read this thread because i struggle so much with all that has been discussed. i finished uni last may and wouldn;'t have got through it without god. i would start my revision the morning of an exam and final assignments would be rushed through. i have very low self esteem and it really gets me down. i pray about it alot. i always worry that people are not really bothered if im around that noone wants to listen and that i am no good at anything. i guess its just a daily spiritual battle we have against evil. its always trying to bring us down. i believe that we must look to jesus and not dwell on all the negative thought we have,. we need to learn to trust in his power at work in us. i aim to do bible studies each day, morning preferably so i get off on a good start to the day. and prayer is such a powerful weapon against this evil attack. KEEP PRAYING PEOPLE.

 

[zafirosiete]

I procrastinate like mad. At this very moment I am procrastinating from doing a simple Bible assignment. Mostly I procrastinate with homework, although I do it with chores and other things too. I get really good grades, so procrastination doesn't really affect my school performance (in fact, I love school), but it drives me and my parents crazy. I don't know if it's from low self-esteem or not. My self-esteem is all over the place, usually.

Right now I'm bothered because I'm throwing myself into school... I love it because it's something I'm good at and I like conquering things (like mastering a new concept), but at the same time, I hate being known by how smart I am. Most people come up with that adjective right off the bat, and I'd like to be known for something else - except I don't show anything else. I'm starting to talk almost exclusively about school-related stuff, and I drive myself crazy, but it's really interesting to me, and it's one thing I can do without feeling stupid, which I despise.

Anyway. I am a first-born, and half an only child (my brother goes to respite off and on), so that might be the reason for my procrastination habits! Perhaps I should go do my Bible... but hey, this place is just more interesting.

 

[PeculiarTreasure]

I procastinate a lot too. I have a huge lack of motivation. I admit it I'm scared of failure, rejection and what others will think. I'm currently unemployed and I have no motivation to even look for a job. I'm 23 and I still have no idea what I want to do in life. I went to college but dropped out (twice) basically from lack of motivation and I just hated school with a passion because I was never good at it. I got a job a few months ago but I lost it. With all that has happend I'm scared of just going through everything all over again. So yeah I know how ya'll feel.