PLEASE READ Disagreements

[turned around]

Hi edial,
Classic example of how things get going. I post something I believe is helpful, with personal experience attached to it. How on the receiving end of the response would you feel. If you received a goofy smily face, and a meaningless comment?

Grace to you.

 

[mourningdove~]

But that doesn't make it the norm for all.

Sarcasm is my personality and always has been. Everyone gets it irregardless of if I agree, disagree, like, or dislike. None of that is a factor. My wife calls it my second language and that if I seem especially sarcastic to anyone it's a sign of endearment.

It's just the way I'm built, part of my default Asperges settings.

I'm gonna jump in here, Faulty, and say a few things.

While I understand that sarcasm is like a 'second' language to you, that doesn't me we all receive it like you intend.

Sometimes in your posts, I do wonder what you mean? And I do wonder if you are being sarcastic in a kind way or in an unkind way. Because, yes, sarcasm can be used in a very hurtful way.

Now, I will say more. Because you and I have never 'tangled' on this board, and there's been no hard feelings between us (at least, as far as I know! lol), when I read your sarcasms I do tend to give you 'the benefit of the doubt'. I give you the 'benefit of the doubt' that you don't mean to be hurtful. And I blow it off.

And I do know that you have Aspergers, and that you've revealed that fact here helps lots to better understanding the meaning of what you are saying.

The problem is that sarcasm can really be used by some in a very hurtful way.

Personally, I DO NOT LIKE SARCASM because it can make for lots of misunderstanding within a conversation.

I was raised in YankeeLand where sarcasm is very much spoken. But when living in the Bible Belt those many years, it was not spoken much there ... except by the Yankee Transplants living there. (lol!)

But I loved being away from the sarcasm all those years. I prefer it, to living in a culture of sarcasm ... which, by the way, is where I live now.

I think sarcasm can be okay, between persons that know each other very way. But when we don't know persons very well, like online, it can really make for some misunderstandings in some conversations. And don't be fooled: some people do use sarcasm online to hurt others and work to keep them off guard.

So, when you use sarcasm, I can give you the benefit of the doubt.

But if some other posters here were to speak it towards or about me ... persons that I've frequently tangled with ... no, I can't possibly receive their sarcasm as kindness. They most likely do not mean it as such.

p.s. And I'm sorry if you ever meant to offend me with your sarcasm, because now you know that you didn't!


(just kidding!)

 

[Edial]

Frog, in the same way, referring to "those teachers of the law", or worse "judaizers",knowing full well that it is my posts that you are referring to, would that not fall in the same category?

Is that not fair?

Blessings,

Gids

Please do not worry.

If this is a personal jab and you report it and we see it is addressed to you - rules apply evenly to all.

 

[Andrea411]

But that doesn't make it the norm for all.

Sarcasm is my personality and always has been. Everyone gets it irregardless of if I agree, disagree, like, or dislike. None of that is a factor. My wife calls it my second language and that if I seem especially sarcastic to anyone it's a sign of endearment.

It's just the way I'm built, part of my default Asperges settings.

I didn't suggest it was everyone's concern. I am at a place in my life that I find it 'unwanted' bc it's a matter of the heart not of just speech.

I could suggest to you, that you might want to add that to your signature line or mention it if someone gets offended by you. I have not had a problem with your sarcasm.

God bless, andrea

 

[mourningdove~]

Hi there.

There have been some disagreements between some posters.
We see it ALL the time.
Some reconciliatory steps have been taken by some (thank you for that!).

It has been our experience however, that disagreements and reconciliations can go back and forth depending on circumstances.

Unless we have a system in place to make reconciliations stick and going back to disagreements not that easy , this back and forth may cause damage to this place.

This is what we can do while using the existing rules.

- You will not discuss nor refer to another individual in a negative way.
- If you are reported by that individual and we find there indeed was a negative comment concerning that individual - 3 DAYS ban.

2nd offense - 1 WEEK ban.

You may criticize the post, but not the poster.

Each ban may be appealed in MSC.
Ask for me.
But would warn you, if there is a violation as described here, appeal would be declined.

It is up to that individual to report.
You can either ban each other out, turn the other cheek here and there, or stop addressing each other in a negative light.
Oh, it works.

This system is very effective to freeze any attacks or negative comments towards an individual, direct or implied.

How does this sound?

I need to go out for few hours and would handle the questions when I come back.

Thanks,
In Christ,
Ed

"like"

 

[murjahel]

I think all of us are going to need to watch our words... it is like the passage

Psalm 141:3 (KJV)
3 Set a watch, O LORD, before my mouth;
keep the door of my lips.​

The Bible says that the 'last member' of the body to come under control of the Spirit, is the tongue... so... unless we are perfect, and I know I am not... the tongue is still a bit unruly at times...

but the fact that it says it is the last member to come under control, shows us that it is to be coming under control...

Yet... the Scriptures have 100's of verses on the tongue...

two of the ten commandments deal with the tongue...

the book of Proverbs is packed with warnings against sinful talk...

3 of the 7 things that God says He hates deal
with the tongue in Prov 6:16-19​

Jesus spoke of the fact that we will give account for every idle word...

Matt 12:36
'Every idle word that men speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.'​

So, we give account more now than ever on this board. The moderators who are given charge of this forum for its ownership are the ones to make the determination if our words are suitable for the forum. That is who should be in charge.

I know I will be watching my words closely, and sticking to the subject... Personal talk can be a stumbling stone, and if some misinterpret what we say to them, it can look bad, even if not intended to be. So, if we speak only to the subject on any area where we are in disagreement, we can avoid some misunderstandings.

 

[Edial]

Do ya know enough about it to?

Is that considered flaming or just good natured kidding?

Oh please ... before I was born-again, my critical spirit owned me.

One knows the critical spirit leaves is when an encouraging spirit appears.

Sanctification is a fascinating process ...

But good-natured kidding is another thing.
People see if something is good-natured.

Some are too sensitive ... and they probably have a reason to be.
We do not know troubles people went through.

We learn about each other ... yet another process.

 

[mourningdove~]

Actually sarcasm is one of the several ... I think about 12 ... points that often ticks others off.

It usually is symbolic of a critical spirit.
I am NOT addressing you specifically.

ALL of us have critical spirit - we just need to address this weakness and develop an Encouraging spirit.

Actually it is a very good teaching thread to have ... maybe I should open one.

I would like to see you open this teaching thread, too.

 

[Edial]

Wow! A charismatic/Lutheran ... go for it Ed

I know ... charismatic/Lutheran ... the end is near.

 

[mourningdove~]

Hi there.

There have been some disagreements between some posters.
We see it ALL the time.
Some reconciliatory steps have been taken by some (thank you for that!).

It has been our experience however, that disagreements and reconciliations can go back and forth depending on circumstances.

Unless we have a system in place to make reconciliations stick and going back to disagreements not that easy , this back and forth may cause damage to this place.

This is what we can do while using the existing rules.

- You will not discuss nor refer to another individual in a negative way.
- If you are reported by that individual and we find there indeed was a negative comment concerning that individual - 3 DAYS ban.

2nd offense - 1 WEEK ban.

You may criticize the post, but not the poster.

Each ban may be appealed in MSC.
Ask for me.
But would warn you, if there is a violation as described here, appeal would be declined.

It is up to that individual to report.
You can either ban each other out, turn the other cheek here and there, or stop addressing each other in a negative light.
Oh, it works.

This system is very effective to freeze any attacks or negative comments towards an individual, direct or implied.

How does this sound?

I need to go out for few hours and would handle the questions when I come back.

Thanks,
In Christ,
Ed

Ed,

If this procedure is put into place in this forum, do you think we could get it posted permanently up top the forum, maybe even as a post with the "SF/Charismatic Statement of Purpose"?

I personally would like to have the guidelines handy for referencing, and I would think it would be helpful for new persons coming to the forum to read.

 

[Andrea411]

[Staff Deletion of Quoted Post]

Oh you Southern folk don't get us Northerner's sarcasm... your all nice and slow and polite. Women smile when they tell you off...LOL. In the North we snarl or growl. My husband always laughs bc I'll be at the computer and he'll hear this low snarly growly thing... grrrrr ughhh .....LOL. He thinks it's the funniest thing that his wife growls. Of course until it's his turn...

Yes your right some of the complainers are the worst offenders. I'm sure the mods are aware by now. I'm still holding avoidance mode but making some amends here and there. Looking forward to a more peaceful atmosphere here and real fellowship. Hopeful.

God bless, andrea

 

[mourningdove~]

I'm gonna jump in here, Faulty, and say a few things.

While I understand that sarcasm is like a 'second' language to you, that doesn't me we all receive it like you intend.

Sometimes in your posts, I do wonder what you mean? And I do wonder if you are being sarcastic in a kind way or in an unkind way. Because, yes, sarcasm can be used in a very hurtful way.

Now, I will say more. Because you and I have never 'tangled' on this board, and there's been no hard feelings between us (at least, as far as I know! lol), when I read your sarcasms I do tend to give you 'the benefit of the doubt'. I give you the 'benefit of the doubt' that you don't mean to be hurtful. And I blow it off.

And I do know that you have Aspergers, and that you've revealed that fact here helps lots to better understanding the meaning of what you are saying.

The problem is that sarcasm can really be used by some in a very hurtful way.

Personally, I DO NOT LIKE SARCASM because it can make for lots of misunderstanding within a conversation.

I was raised in YankeeLand where sarcasm is very much spoken. But when living in the Bible Belt those many years, it was not spoken much there ... except by the Yankee Transplants living there. (lol!)

But I loved being away from the sarcasm all those years. I prefer it, to living in a culture of sarcasm ... which, by the way, is where I live now.

I think sarcasm can be okay, between persons that know each other very way. But when we don't know persons very well, like online, it can really make for some misunderstandings in some conversations. And don't be fooled: some people do use sarcasm online to hurt others and work to keep them off guard.

So, when you use sarcasm, I can give you the benefit of the doubt.

But if some other posters here were to speak it towards or about me ... persons that I've frequently tangled with ... no, I can't possibly receive their sarcasm as kindness. They most likely do not mean it as such.

p.s. And I'm sorry if you ever meant to offend me with your sarcasm, because now you know that you didn't!


(just kidding!)

[/I]

Yikes! I do want to apologize if I offended anyone by my usage of the word "YankeeLand", etc., in my post (above).

I surely didn't mean to offend. I'm a Yankee, so I feel pretty 'loose' using the term ... but I can remember being called a "Yankee" when I lived in the South, and I can tell you that it wasn't always meant in a kindly way! (lol!)

If I offended anyone, please forgive me ...

 

[Edial]

Hi Mod,
I think the innuendoes used are more damaging than just calling someone out. I have used innuendos myself, and usually feel crumy. Innuendoes IMO need to be closely monitored by staff. Suspension for that I believe would stop some of the bigger disputes from happening.

Grace to you.

Innuendos is a form of deception, believe it or not.

When I am accused of saying it I could always deny it.

WE ALL have this.
Apostle Paul dedicated an entire chapter to it in Romans 14.

We just need to accept this unfortunate fact ... only then the Lord will heal us.

 

[turned around]

Hi,
In moderating the forum you can't see that deceptive shenagin going on. Maybe PM's to alert a person to knock it off.

Grace to you.

 

[Edial]

Hi edial,
Classic example of how things get going. I post something I believe is helpful, with personal experience attached to it. How on the receiving end of the response would you feel. If you received a goofy smily face, and a meaningless comment?

Grace to you.

There are verses how to address mockers.

Do not respond to him

PR 9:7 "Whoever corrects a mocker invites insult;
...
PR 9:8 Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you;
​

Mockers are usually people who have significant personal problems in life ... they are not happy people. They do suffer when alone - pray for them

PR 9:12 ... if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer."
​

If this continues, please let the senior staff know through MSC and we keep an eye on them. We'll decide how to handle this.

PR 22:10 Drive out the mocker, and out goes strife;
quarrels and insults are ended.
​

 

[Edial]

Ed,

If this procedure is put into place in this forum, do you think we could get it posted permanently up top the forum, maybe even as a post with the "SF/Charismatic Statement of Purpose"?

I personally would like to have the guidelines handy for referencing, and I would think it would be helpful for new persons coming to the forum to read.

Yes, we would do that.

 

[Edial]

No. It CAN be true. It's not always true.

OK

 

[Edial]

Hi,
In moderating the forum you can't see that deceptive shenagin going on. Maybe PM's to alert a person to knock it off.

Grace to you.

Let's see how this flies ...

 

[Edial]

Yikes! I do want to apologize if I offended anyone by my usage of the word "YankeeLand", etc., in my post (above).

I surely didn't mean to offend. I'm a Yankee, so I feel pretty 'loose' using the term ... but I can remember being called a "Yankee" when I lived in the South, and I can tell you that it wasn't always meant in a kindly way! (lol!)

If I offended anyone, please forgive me ...

I am a Yankee ... New York Yankees ...

 

[turned around]

Hi ed,
Who am I going to report you to? Am I going crazy I expressed to you, that you're earlier response proved my point. Then you provide verses about mockers.

Grace to you.