PLEASE READ Disagreements

[geetrue]

Humor: I thought we were too Andrea, but as a veteran of foreign wars I can't get an appointment at the VA to make sure lol

 

[Tishri1]

Me too. IDK but we are in the thick of it with you guys now like it or not
Dont worry this step is simple and very effective:
Report folks who flame you , goad you, ect and if staff can see that it is indeed directed at you, they will be banned
Simple enough

I must have missed something, I thought we were getting better??

 

[turned around]

Hi,
I worked in corrections for 25 years. It some respects you were a moderator. You could sense the atmosphere changing. Smart CO's did something proactive. I would believe the mods can sense when something is going awry. In the jail system "talking junk"(innuendo) got a lot of trouble started.

Grace to you.

 

[Andrea411]

Humor: I thought we were too Andrea, but as a veteran of foreign wars I can't get an appointment at the VA to make sure lol

From what I've heard you're not alone. I think it is a real shame about the VA... it used to be the best. Prayerfully, they will be again. I guess 15 years of war has taken its toll.
God bless and thank you for your service, andrea

 

[Edial]

I agree and think a week off might be a good thing for us. At times we NEED to re-evaluate how we respond to individuals if we are to be sensitive to unbelievers.
That said, some people just get offended. I use the term stalkers to address behaviors not individuals. The number of people who get offended only confirms to me "If the shoe fits"... ???
........I went to one person who mentioned being called a stalker and asked that person if they thought I was addressing them. After two inquiries and no response, I have to assume they thought it was them. I never had them in mind.
I got a similar response when I mentioned juvenile behavior. Hey I'm not immune from juvenile behavior either but some people (the same people) re-acted personally.

Now I can find another word but it can't solve the problem as long as individuals want to be offended.

LOL.... can we request a week ban ... before things get out of hand? I'm really laughing but I can recall thinking it might be really good to get away and reevaluate my own response. If I have a problem with so many people maybe I'm the problem?? Although, it seems to be one group. So if one person in said group gets offended they seem to all get offended. ... and off we go...

Steps for reconciliation are being made... I welcome everyone who has a problem with me to address me and I will make a special effort to be more patient and curb the sarcasm. I have a little problem with sarcasm, I like it - I think its funny but seriously, I don't think God likes it.

God bless, andrea

If there are problems with "stalking" it is the best not to talk about it in thread at all.
Just bring it to MSC and let us evaluate the situation.

"Stalking" usually disappears once these rules are put in place.

 

[Edial]

That will be great ... am trusting that it will be... and then we can open Peanut gallery threads and see real discussion ...

thank you...

 

[Edial]

I'm fine with what everyone wants. However, I do see it scaring away those who are not 'regulars' here since they will probably break the rules. I rarely report and if I do it's not in this sub forum, but another sub forum where people are more fragile and need greater care.

I see less discussion not more. I will take 25 minutes to write a work email response because I get paid to write well in that scenario, but I won't constantly tweak my posts here if it doesn't go easy, it's just too much work and you never know if you will or do make a difference or not. Just being honest.

People may think less of me, but time is time and I will not spend a bunch of time on optional things unless there is a ministering payoff that we know we are helping someone. If you do take the time to write well, that doesn't mean that people really read them fully, people scan and read selectively. I do know that.

The internet seems to have it's own rules and I trust very few here that do not or will not go on reporting rampages.

With that said, I will follow what everyone else wants and see how it works for me. I am a peace maker.

 

[Edial]

My question on this is who decides what is deemed inappropriate and what isn't?

Is it just you edial? Or is it a group of mods that come to a consensus?

If it's just you, no offense, but that's almost like your dictating the conversation here.

Case in point, the other day in the peanut gallery thread you agreed with others that the younger believers here are rude somewhat towards elders. While I will say some, including myself can do better. All you said to me in response to that point was just chat with you about it. So you openly sided with one end of the forum against the other. That's not fair.

I mean it is what it is, but if you are the sole determining factor in the decision to ban people for posts, I feel the younger believers are at a disadvantage already.

Also, please clarify what is deemed inappropriate? How do we know we took the point too far? Some people say things here with no disrespect meant at all, that is blatantly obvious to most, and yet the other person may just be having a bad day and report such a post because of that. Will that person be banned because someone is in a foul mood and felt offended?

Need some clear parameters like we got with the teaching thread format. Thanks!

No problem!

If you address the post and not the poster this eliminates all types of possible missteps

If you address the poster, just make certain it is not in a negative way.

For example ...
Mr.x, mind your own business! ... get over it ... go back to school ... someone is stalking me ... someone needs to find another place ... you do not belong here ...
This is problematic.

If you address post and not the poster, this usually eliminates all types of slip-ups.

Also, I seriously doubt I specifically took someone else's side against you particularly. I don't do that.

Moderators would decide if something is a flame or not.

I would just handle the appeals.


Does this help?

Thanks,
Ed

 

[Edial]

This is exactly how he said the post I'm referring to:

It is a radical suggestion and I completely agree with you that younger generation lost track of what is respect for the elders.

It is post #52 in the Peanut Gallery questions thread...

To me, as a member of the "younger generation" that is taking sides. Perhaps he didn't mean it like that, but you can't say stuff like that in the open forum and not expect someone to take issue with it. Leaders are to be completely fair and impartial and saying something like that ^^^ seems contrary to that.

If he didn't mean it that way, cool. But again what is to stop edial or any mod from reading a comment similar to that one and finding fault with it then banning the offending poster when no such offense was meant.

At very least, there should be a coming together if things get out of hand. If people refuse to join in discussion to resolve issues, then bans should be considered. Not a "well that seems offensive so you're getting the heave-ho" see ya in 3 days or worse!

Understand?

As you can see I did not address you in particular.

However, I would say this as well ... the elders should not frustrate the younger generation.
Older people do have a tendency to do that as well.

Does this even things out a bit?

Thanks,
Ed

 

[Edial]

Sarcasm is good, I'm a very sarcastic person at times. I think the issue with sarcasm on CF or any internet site is unless the people you are chatting with really know you as a person. Sarcasm can often come across as very hostile and rude. Even if it wasn't meant that way.

Actually sarcasm is one of the several ... I think about 12 ... points that often ticks others off.

It usually is symbolic of a critical spirit.
I am NOT addressing you specifically.

ALL of us have critical spirit - we just need to address this weakness and develop an Encouraging spirit.

Actually it is a very good teaching thread to have ... maybe I should open one.

 

[Edial]

Rude and sarcasm seem a lot alike to me: Sarcasm Synonyms, Sarcasm Antonyms | Thesaurus.com

More words related to sarcasm

noun. harsh speech, behavior
acrimoniousness
causticity
ill temper
irritability
rancor
rudeness
sarcasm
sarcasticness
vitriolicism

Unfortunately it's true ...

 

[Edial]

From what I've heard you're not alone. I think it is a real shame about the VA... it used to be the best. Prayerfully, they will be again. I guess 15 years of war has taken its toll.
God bless and thank you for your service, andrea

I agree. God bless the vets.

 

[Edial]

Hi,
I worked in corrections for 25 years. It some respects you were a moderator. You could sense the atmosphere changing. Smart CO's did something proactive. I would believe the mods can sense when something is going awry. In the jail system "talking junk"(innuendo) got a lot of trouble started.

Grace to you.

I see you worked in corrections for 25 years ...

 

[Andrea411]

Actually sarcasm is one of the several ... I think about 12 ... points that often ticks others off.

It usually is symbolic of a critical spirit.
I am NOT addressing you specifically.

ALL of us have critical spirit - we just need to address this weakness and develop an Encouraging spirit.

Actually it is a very good teaching thread to have ... maybe I should open one.

Yes, I find it is veiled hostility in the guise of humor. That's why I know the Lord doesn't like it. At least for me, not going to speak for others. Living in the N.E. its just part of the conversation. Hard to get rid of... like laughing at dirty jokes. You really have to understand what is happening to 'take every thought captive' and deal with it as a serious issue. It's a pain to have to be so serious about everything but I got rid of the laughter at dirty jokes by realizing exactly what it is... disrespect.
I work around a lot of men and if they tell me a dirty joke or try bc I usually cut it off before the punch line with "the look". I start shaking my head and saying "your not going there are you really".

Anyway, I need to get rid of the sarcasm in my personal life too so here is as good a place as any to improve the conversation. DARN!!!

 

[Optimax]

Actually sarcasm is one of the several ... I think about 12 ... points that often ticks others off.

It usually is symbolic of a critical spirit.
I am NOT addressing you specifically.

ALL of us have critical spirit - we just need to address this weakness and develop an Encouraging spirit.

Actually it is a very good teaching thread to have ... maybe I should open one.

Do ya know enough about it to?

Is that considered flaming or just good natured kidding?

 

[Andrea411]

Actually sarcasm is one of the several ... I think about 12 ... points that often ticks others off.

It usually is symbolic of a critical spirit.
I am NOT addressing you specifically.

ALL of us have critical spirit - we just need to address this weakness and develop an Encouraging spirit.

Actually it is a very good teaching thread to have ... maybe I should open one.

Please do. I could use the encouragement to rethink the way I address some people. Bc the fact is... I am not very sarcastic with the individuals I agree with especially on spiritual matters... hmmm. That tells me a lot right there.

God bless, andrea

 

[gideons300]

I would also add, posts that says..."some people here"..should not be allowed.

Everyone knows just who the poster is personally attacking, when a post has that phrase in it.

Frog, in the same way, referring to "those teachers of the law", or worse "judaizers",knowing full well that it is my posts that you are referring to, would that not fall in the same category?

Is that not fair?

Blessings,

Gids

 

[geetrue]

Actually sarcasm is one of the several ... I think about 12 ... points that often ticks others off.

It usually is symbolic of a critical spirit.
I am NOT addressing you specifically.

ALL of us have critical spirit - we just need to address this weakness and develop an Encouraging spirit.

Actually it is a very good teaching thread to have ... maybe I should open one.

Wow! A charismatic/Lutheran ... go for it Ed

 

[Faulty]

Unfortunately it's true ...

No. It CAN be true. It's not always true.

 

[Faulty]

Please do. I could use the encouragement to rethink the way I address some people. Bc the fact is... I am not very sarcastic with the individuals I agree with especially on spiritual matters... hmmm. That tells me a lot right there.

God bless, andrea

But that doesn't make it the norm for all.

Sarcasm is my personality and always has been. Everyone gets it irregardless of if I agree, disagree, like, or dislike. None of that is a factor. My wife calls it my second language and that if I seem especially sarcastic to anyone it's a sign of endearment.

It's just the way I'm built, part of my default Asperges settings.