Orthodox Funny Joke/Meme Thread

[gurneyhalleck1]

Now you're just talking crazy....stir crazy. Phantom Menace was the gold standard for Lucas at his lowest point. And Clones was practically incoherent and the CGI (no matter WHAT you think of ROTS!) was pure 100000% cartoon network cheese! Are you serious going to tell me Anakin's "I hate sand" speech to Padme, that is beyond cringe-worthy, is as bad as even the worst Anakin stuff in Ep3?

they were both better than ROTS.

 

[ArmyMatt]

It's your imagination, Father. Come on. Let's keep a little optimism here.

it is the future you see

 

[ArmyMatt]

Now you're just talking crazy....stir crazy. Phantom Menace was the gold standard for Lucas at his lowest point. And Clones was practically incoherent and the CGI (no matter WHAT you think of ROTS!) was pure 100000% cartoon network cheese! Are you serious going to tell me Anakin's "I hate sand" speech to Padme, that is beyond cringe-worthy, is as bad as even the worst Anakin stuff in Ep3?

yes, I am. I would listen to that speech, as awful as it is, long before watching ROTS.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

For the first time ever, not buying what my buddy Father Matt is saying! There is no way on God's Green Earth that anyone would rather hear that sand speech....no way! It is beyond corny! It is unwatchable!

"I don't like sand. It's coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere...." he goes on and on and the love scene is just cheese....Velveta plus Kraft, swiss, American, and cheddar put together!

Jar-Jar Binks!? "whooosa are yoooosa?" really? Seriously? You'd rather hear Boss Nass the Frog guy give a speech to a bunch of gungans joining forces with Natalie Portman's cornball army? Midichlorions? The Pod Racer scene!? Sebulba!?

The full-on cartoon war and face-palming lightsaber orgy in Ep2!?

Yield, oh Father Matt....you're beaten!

yes, I am. I would listen to that speech, as awful as it is, long before watching ROTS.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

Listen, Herr Mac, I don't know who
you're used to dealing with, but no
one tells me Episode III sucks in my subforum!

it is the future you see

it is the future you see

 

[ArmyMatt]

For the first time ever, not buying what my buddy Father Matt is saying! There is no way on God's Green Earth that anyone would rather hear that sand speech....no way! It is beyond corny! It is unwatchable!

"I don't like sand. It's coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere...." he goes on and on and the love scene is just cheese....Velveta plus Kraft, swiss, American, and cheddar put together!

Jar-Jar Binks!? "whooosa are yoooosa?" really? Seriously? You'd rather hear Boss Nass the Frog guy give a speech to a bunch of gungans joining forces with Natalie Portman's cornball army? Midichlorions? The Pod Racer scene!? Sebulba!?

The full-on cartoon war and face-palming lightsaber orgy in Ep2!?

Yield, oh Father Matt....you're beaten!

I would watch that long before watching horribly choreographed lightsaber duels, needless additions of plot holes, that stupid bubble opera scene, the fight on Kashyyyk, etc. give me a thousand sand speeches before I watch nonsense.

 

[ArmyMatt]

Listen, Herr Mac, I don't know who
you're used to dealing with, but no
one tells me Episode III sucks in my subforum!

you're subforum? you lost her to me fair and square.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

The saber duel was amazing. Most naysayers who don't like Ep3 concede that fact. The opera scene was AWESOME! "not from a Jedi......" Love that scene where Anakin is starting to listen to Palpatine's load of nonsense....the dark music in the background was great. The Kashyyyk scene was awesome.

You're beaten!

I would watch that long before watching horribly choreographed lightsaber duels, needless additions of plot holes, that stupid bubble opera scene, the fight on Kashyyyk, etc. give me a thousand sand speeches before I watch nonsense.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

You got a lot of guts comin' here....after the overly-emotional and weak opinions you've pulled!

you're subforum? you lost her to me fair and square.

 

[ArmyMatt]

The saber duel was amazing. Most naysayers who don't like Ep3 concede that fact. The opera scene was AWESOME! "not from a Jedi......" Love that scene where Anakin is starting to listen to Palpatine's load of nonsense....the dark music in the background was great. The Kashyyyk scene was awesome.

You're beaten!

the lightsaber battles were sooooooo telegraphed you could see each swing coming a mile away. add to that needless CGI flippy jumps and a habit for not aiming for the body with each swing.

Palpatine's seduction of Anakin was uber cheesy. so dumb with all those menacing turns to Anakin for effect when he made a point.

Kashyyyk begins with a Wookiee screaming like a barbarian in an age of blasters....so stupid. not to mention Yoda's lightsaber gains density when he throws it into clone troopers' chests.

not even close to beaten

 

[ArmyMatt]

You got a lot of guts comin' here....after the overly-emotional and weak opinions you've pulled!

don't call me overtly emotional you oversized glob of grease!

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

But you're ok with a bunch of Gungan frogs fighting in a phony fescue grass field holding cheesy animated bubbles to protect themselves and fighting a corny droid army...gotcha LOL
And you're ok with the Count Dukoo battle with Anakin in the second flick, the big frog guy in the diner, sand speeches, and a cartoon war of clone troopers. Attack of the Clones had, hands-down, THE worst Star Wars script of all time. The sand speech was just the tip of the ice berg!

And fuzzy teddy bears fighting on Endor was truly dignified and touching...LOL. Jawas were indeed menacing and fascinating, Greedo was an epic terror and true threat, butt mouth was a thrill a minute, and the little pig guys who tore C-3PO apart in Ep5 were to be taken seriously!? LOL

Star Wars isn't Amadeus. You can't pick and choose. There is cheese throughout the saga, old and new. I happen to think the prequels were thin overall. I'll watch Phantom Menace and enjoy the Darth Maul saber fight and a few moments, but overall it was weak and thin. Clones is a rough flick to sit through. IMHO Clones is the worst episode (I don't consider these new ones with Mr. Emo/Kylo Ren as canonical in any way, shape, or form!). Revenge of the Sith isn't perfect, I'll give you that. Hayden Christensen is not the guy I wanted to play Anakin. Not in the least. But you can't give him a pass in Clones and just hate his work in Ep3. All the love scenes and the stupidity chasing the bounty hunter on Corescant, all insulting. For me, he wasn't that bad in Ep3 because the story, atmosphere, music, and good pacing outdo his poor acting. The part where the Emperor ushers in Order 66 I thought was really well-done and downright sad. I thought it was a good movie, and at least it is a cautionary tale. I think the fact that Clones is 6.6 on IMDB and Sith is 7.6, a full ten point off, speaks for itself. Phantom Menace is 6.5. Over a half million people reviewed each movie, and the people that do are movie hounds. So, the majority is with Gurney....thank you very much! (said in my best Full Metal Jacket DI voice)

the lightsaber battles were sooooooo telegraphed you could see each swing coming a mile away. add to that needless CGI flippy jumps and a habit for not aiming for the body with each swing.

Palpatine's seduction of Anakin was uber cheesy. so dumb with all those menacing turns to Anakin for effect when he made a point.

Kashyyyk begins with a Wookiee screaming like a barbarian in an age of blasters....so stupid. not to mention Yoda's lightsaber gains density when he throws it into clone troopers' chests.

not even close to beaten

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

What I really need is a priest in TAW who understands the binary language of good movie-making.

don't call me overtly emotional you oversized glob of grease!

 

[ArmyMatt]

But you're ok with a bunch of Gungan frogs fighting in a phony fescue grass field holding cheesy animated bubbles to protect themselves and fighting a corny droid army...gotcha LOL
And you're ok with the Count Dukoo battle with Anakin in the second flick, the big frog guy in the diner, sand speeches, and a cartoon war of clone troopers. Attack of the Clones had, hands-down, THE worst Star Wars script of all time. The sand speech was just the tip of the ice berg!

And fuzzy teddy bears fighting on Endor was truly dignified and touching...LOL. Jawas were indeed menacing and fascinating, Greedo was an epic terror and true threat, butt mouth was a thrill a minute, and the little pig guys who tore C-3PO apart in Ep5 were to be taken seriously!? LOL

Star Wars isn't Amadeus. You can't pick and choose. There is cheese throughout the saga, old and new. I happen to think the prequels were thin overall. I'll watch Phantom Menace and enjoy the Darth Maul saber fight and a few moments, but overall it was weak and thin. Clones is a rough flick to sit through. IMHO Clones is the worst episode (I don't consider these new ones with Mr. Emo/Kylo Ren as canonical in any way, shape, or form!). Revenge of the Sith isn't perfect, I'll give you that. Hayden Christensen is not the guy I wanted to play Anakin. Not in the least. But you can't give him a pass in Clones and just hate his work in Ep3. All the love scenes and the stupidity chasing the bounty hunter on Corescant, all insulting. For me, he wasn't that bad in Ep3 because the story, atmosphere, music, and good pacing outdo his poor acting. The part where the Emperor ushers in Order 66 I thought was really well-done and downright sad. I thought it was a good movie, and at least it is a cautionary tale. I think the fact that Clones is 6.6 on IMDB and Sith is 7.6, a full ten point off, speaks for itself. Phantom Menace is 6.5. Over a half million people reviewed each movie, and the people that do are movie hounds. So, the majority is with Gurney....thank you very much! (said in my best Full Metal Jacket DI voice)

except that I haven't done what you said. I never said episodes I and II are good. they are both actually quite horrible. I just think episode III is the worst. I have never defended Phantom Menace or Attack of the Clones. I have only ever enjoyed episodes IV-VI and Rogue One. I hated Anakin's portrayal in Episode II and in Episode III.

so I don't actually pick and choose.

 

[ArmyMatt]

What I really need is a priest in TAW who understands the binary language of good movie-making.

leave that to me

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

Here's my point though....Episodes IV, V, and VI had plot holes. They also had bad acting. Mark Hamill, honestly, is a horrendous actor. The "that's not true....that's impossible!" scene in Empire is just hilarious. It's Shatner-style acting! Is it as bad as Hayden? Nope. But it's corny. Even Ford was a bit cheesy in the first flick. In addition, Jawas and Ewoks and pig men and chirping droids on the ground beeping as well as droids in Jabba's palace getting burned and somehow FEELING IT! (lol) all that stuff is a touch corny. Star Wars isn't The English Patient, Schindler's List, or On Golden Pond. It's Star Wars. So when people say the acting in Ep3 was corny, with Hayden I concur. But then again, so was Hamill's in Empire and ROTJ. Luke can be hard to take seriously at times. When people say the script had plot holes in ep3, I agree. So did the old trilogy. When people say it had silly moments, yep, so did the others. The script for A New Hope wasn't exactly A Place in the Sun.

Star Wars is aimed at kids and the kid in all of us. If we analyze it to the nth degree and expect perfection, just t'ain't gonna happen. All we can do is look at the lessons in the movies, the ideas they're trying to deliver, and individually we just react. For me, Episode III shows Anakin misplacing his love. He loves Padme, and is willing to sell out his values just for his selfish love of her. Palpatine is the consumate exploiter of such moments. The movie shows a take-over of a government, and it's actually pretty realistic. You use a moment of instability (Weimar Republic) as a cheesy excuse to "keep everyone safe" with martial law and emergency powers. How does one convince people to give away their freedoms? The movie shows Anakin's resentment toward the council, and I know I've felt that way before, even at church! All his sins come to a head. I think it ties things up nicely even if some holes do exist.

When you try to do prequels to something created in 1977, plot holes will exist, period. Like I've said, I think it's a fun flick. It was indeed intense, though, and not for little kids.

except that I haven't done what you said. I never said episodes I and II are good. they are both actually quite horrible. I just think episode III is the worst. I have never defended Phantom Menace or Attack of the Clones. I have only ever enjoyed episodes IV-VI and Rogue One. I hated Anakin's portrayal in Episode II and in Episode III.

so I don't actually pick and choose.

 

[ArmyMatt]

Here's my point though....Episodes IV, V, and VI had plot holes. They also had bad acting. Mark Hamill, honestly, is a horrendous actor. The "that's not true....that's impossible!" scene in Empire is just hilarious. It's Shatner-style acting! Is it as bad as Hayden? Nope. But it's corny. Even Ford was a bit cheesy in the first flick. In addition, Jawas and Ewoks and pig men and chirping droids on the ground beeping as well as droids in Jabba's palace getting burned and somehow FEELING IT! (lol) all that stuff is a touch corny. Star Wars isn't The English Patient, Schindler's List, or On Golden Pond. It's Star Wars. So when people say the acting in Ep3 was corny, with Hayden I concur. But then again, so was Hamill's in Empire and ROTJ. Luke can be hard to take seriously at times. When people say the script had plot holes in ep3, I agree. So did the old trilogy. When people say it had silly moments, yep, so did the others. The script for A New Hope wasn't exactly A Place in the Sun.

Star Wars is aimed at kids and the kid in all of us. If we analyze it to the nth degree and expect perfection, just t'ain't gonna happen. All we can do is look at the lessons in the movies, the ideas they're trying to deliver, and individually we just react. For me, Episode III shows Anakin misplacing his love. He loves Padme, and is willing to sell out his values just for his selfish love of her. Palpatine is the consumate exploiter of such moments. The movie shows a take-over of a government, and it's actually pretty realistic. You use a moment of instability (Weimar Republic) as a cheesy excuse to "keep everyone safe" with martial law and emergency powers. How does one convince people to give away their freedoms? The movie shows Anakin's resentment toward the council, and I know I've felt that way before, even at church! All his sins come to a head. I think it ties things up nicely even if some holes do exist.

When you try to do prequels to something created in 1977, plot holes will exist, period. Like I've said, I think it's a fun flick. It was indeed intense, though, and not for little kids.

name me a single plot hole in episodes IV-VI that isn't because of episodes I-III.

and it's not simply Anakin's poor acting.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

This facility is crude, but it
should be adequate to thaw out
Father for his journey to the
truth about Episode III.

leave that to me

 

[ArmyMatt]

This facility is crude, but it
should be adequate to thaw out
Father for his journey to the
truth about Episode III.

this deal keeps changing all the time...

 

[Chesterton]

This forum's not just slow today, it's at a dead stop, so I'm bumping this. I hope this isn't an old one. My priest told it to me:


A priest is graduating seminary, and the bishop informs him the bishop will be giving him a new name tomorrow. The priest says "I want to be Mark". The bishop says "That's my decision to make." Priest says "But I really want to be Mark". Bishop says "Well I'm willing to compromise with you. You select three names from the New Testament, and I will make the final decision from one of those".

The next day the bishop asks the priest what names he chose. Priest says "Mark, Judas and Barabbas". The bishop says "Well played, Father Mark".