Only a Muslim and a Non believer.....

[Lotuspetal_uk]

Hi CF family - I'm a little emotionally raw now as I am currently still recovering from covid. But thought I would post this as it is troubling me.

For those of you who are familiar with my profile, I've been on CF since 2003 and this site has been the closest to what a community of believers should be. Whenever I have not been able to physically fellowship, my walk has grown on this site. In the UK, church attendance is on the decline but where I can I have over the years, tried to find fellowship as I felt it was important especially for my kids and moreso in light of Hebrews 10:25.

We are currently members of a local church and I had thought we'd found our church family. I give to the church, baked cakes for occasions etc. All while holding down a full time job and taking care of my own household as a single parent.

Last Friday I began to feel really unwell, by Saturday I was bedridden and when I tested for covid it immediately came back as positive. My first thought was to contact the prayer line and for prayer so the church knew that we had covid. A friend who I'd known before coming to this church text messaged me to see if I was ok. But that was it - to date nothing from any 'elders' from my church. By Sunday I hadn't improved and my adult daughter tests positive now. It was only my elementary school aged son who has been free from sickness. In order to feed my son we got by with takeout as I was bedridden.

This is what is upsetting for me - during this time I have not had a call or anything from church, yet each Sunday I'll hear of how other members who was convalescing would get calls or visits. Yet the only people who cared were two Muslim friends who have regularly touched base with me (my next door neighbour as she had not seen me for a while and a work colleague). The work colleague would ring me daily which culminated in her bringing over some cooked food. The neighbour volunteered to gather some shopping. My non believing Mum who is herself fragile, prepared food as I was too weak to eat and couldn't stand up for very long to cook for my son.

I thought as a church community we should be doing what three non Christians did for me or what I would do for someone in my situation. I feel so let down. I cried last night as I felt as though I'm not part of the 'in crowd' who would get the calls and the visits.

I apologise for coming out with this but I genuinely thought that if I had died earlier this week, the only thing they would miss would be my tithes and offerings, which I never forsake in giving.

Am I yet again in the wrong fellowship? There really are no other churches in my immediate area.

The world affairs point towards me definitely not keeping my two and myself at home again so not going to church isn't an option.

Do I 'smile and wave' once I'm well enough to return to fellowship? (I wonder if they would even notice)

Or is this something the Lord has used to show a distinct need for a ministry to look after single/divorced women/families? (after crying in prayer last night a thought came that the church needs to change)

How can I witness to my Muslim friends when the reality is no where close to what their community offers when someone is in need? I would hate to see someone won over to Christ and essentially forsake their community support to enter a Christian community who will not support them when they are in need.

Sorry for such a long post - would appreciate some wise counsel. Is it different in the US or the rest of the world? Do you guys have a more scripture based community of believers?

 

[disciple Clint]

Hi CF family - I'm a little emotionally raw now as I am currently still recovering from covid. But thought I would post this as it is troubling me.

For those of you who are familiar with my profile, I've been on CF since 2003 and this site has been the closest to what a community of believers should be. Whenever I have not been able to physically fellowship, my walk has grown on this site. In the UK, church attendance is on the decline but where I can I have over the years, tried to find fellowship as I felt it was important especially for my kids and moreso in light of Hebrews 10:25.

We are currently members of a local church and I had thought we'd found our church family. I give to the church, baked cakes for occasions etc. All while holding down a full time job and taking care of my own household as a single parent.

Last Friday I began to feel really unwell, by Saturday I was bedridden and when I tested for covid it immediately came back as positive. My first thought was to contact the prayer line and for prayer so the church knew that we had covid. A friend who I'd known before coming to this church text messaged me to see if I was ok. But that was it - to date nothing from any 'elders' from my church. By Sunday I hadn't improved and my adult daughter tests positive now. It was only my elementary school aged son who has been free from sickness. In order to feed my son we got by with takeout as I was bedridden.

This is what is upsetting for me - during this time I have not had a call or anything from church, yet each Sunday I'll hear of how other members who was convalescing would get calls or visits. Yet the only people who cared were two Muslim friends who have regularly touched base with me (my next door neighbour as she had not seen me for a while and a work colleague). The work colleague would ring me daily which culminated in her bringing over some cooked food. The neighbour volunteered to gather some shopping. My non believing Mum who is herself fragile, prepared food as I was too weak to eat and couldn't stand up for very long to cook for my son.

I thought as a church community we should be doing what three non Christians did for me or what I would do for someone in my situation. I feel so let down. I cried last night as I felt as though I'm not part of the 'in crowd' who would get the calls and the visits.

I apologise for coming out with this but I genuinely thought that if I had died earlier this week, the only thing they would miss would be my tithes and offerings, which I never forsake in giving.

Am I yet again in the wrong fellowship? There really are no other churches in my immediate area.

The world affairs point towards me definitely not keeping my two and myself at home again so not going to church isn't an option.

Do I 'smile and wave' once I'm well enough to return to fellowship? (I wonder if they would even notice)

Or is this something the Lord has used to show a distinct need for a ministry to look after single/divorced women/families? (after crying in prayer last night a thought came that the church needs to change)

How can I witness to my Muslim friends when the reality is no where close to what their community offers when someone is in need? I would hate to see someone won over to Christ and essentially forsake their community support to enter a Christian community who will not support them when they are in need.

Sorry for such a long post - would appreciate some wise counsel. Is it different in the US or the rest of the world? Do you guys have a more scripture based community of believers?

Sounds like you need to meet with your pastor upon your return to health. There may be some reasonable explanation or you may be able to point out a void that the church needs to fill. In any case your pastor should be given the chance to comment. May God heal you quickly and completely.

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

Sounds like you need to meet with your pastor upon your return to health. There may be some reasonable explanation or you may be able to point out a void that the church needs to fill. In any case your pastor should be given the chance to comment. May God heal you quickly and completely.

Thanks Clint - I will

I meant to add, I did wonder about the success of the chat though as this hasn't been an isolated incident. Earlier this year my mother nearly died of a heart attack. Whilst she was recovering I again juggled work with looking after her. I'd sought help from church in terms of contact numbers for elderly care help and was told they would get back in touch with me. No one got back to me, nor checked in on me whilst I dealt with this. It was non believing work colleagues who again came to my aid.

God willing when I feel better I won't feel so resentful and may be able to think more clearly

 

[Neogaia777]

@Lotuspetal_uk

This is one of the reasons I do not go to church, just one though, and is why I have not found a church yet where I do not want to rip out peoples esophaguses or choke them to death, which is very much the same way I feel about all of the people in the world also, and churches and church people are no different, at least in the west they are not anyway, and my only reason I even still look for a church right now anymore, is only to find one that may only have a slight glimmer of a hope at only realizing how very much desperately they need me, and that's about it, etc, but I still haven't found one yet...

Anyway, I'm sorry about what they are doing to you, and I'm sorry you and your daughter have covid, I will pray that you guys are back to full health soon, or will recover well and as quickly as possible...

God Bless!

 

[Neogaia777]

@Lotuspetal_uk and others...

I already know I could die or be dead and no one would even notice or care, so I have to find a different reason than that to join or belong to a church or any group for that matter, etc, and that can only be how much they need me, etc, because I'm not ever going to get anything back from them in return, and that's almost 100% guaranteed, etc, most especially anybody caring if I even lived or have died, let alone anyone checking up on me, etc...

I'm on my own, except for God of course...

But I've also known that for quite a while now, and it was a point of a great awakening for me, etc...

I will pray for you guys...

God Bless!

 

[timf]

What you observe is the result of a several centuries war on the church that Satan has waged.

One of his most effective strategies was to get churches to collectivize into organizational systems with an emphasis on scripted events and rituals. As a result, many come to believe that this constitutes what Christianity is supposed to be.

Sadly, we have lost most of what Christianity was supposed to be...relationships (us with God and each other).

Many people have left church involvement because of the disconnection. However, if you can keep an eye out for those on the fringe, you might be able to make relational connections with other Christians.

Web sites like this might help as well;

Christian Pioneer

 

[Neogaia777]

Lack of gratuity and gracious hospitality is something God takes very, very seriously, and is actually the real reason He destroyed Sodom and Gommorah actually...

Most so-called Christians only pay lip service to God, but refuse to back it up with any kind of real love or loving action actually, and do the very opposite of "loving and caring for you neighbor" or fellow man actually...

I think it is some of the worst kind of hypocrisy that God hates with a burning passion more than anything or nigh any other kind of sin actually...

God Bless!

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

@Lotuspetal_uk

This is one of the reasons I do not go to church, just one though, and is why I have not found a church yet where I do not want to rip out peoples esophaguses or choke them to death, which is very much the same way I feel about all of the people in the world also, and churches and church people are no different, at least in the west they are not anyway, and my only reason I even still look for a church right now anymore, is only to find one that may only have a slight glimmer of a hope at only realizing how very much desperately they need me, and that's about it, etc, but I still haven't found one yet...

Anyway, I'm sorry about what they are doing to you, and I'm sorry you and your daughter have covid, I will pray that you guys are back to full health soon, or will recover well and as quickly as possible...

God Bless!

Hi Neogaia

And I thought it was just the UK! When I read the book of Acts I see such a relationship linked community who would all chime in and help each other/equip and encourage each other so that we could go about the Father's business to the lost.

Thank you so much for your prayers

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

What you observe is the result of a several centuries war on the church that Satan has waged.

One of his most effective strategies was to get churches to collectivize into organizational systems with an emphasis on scripted events and rituals. As a result, many come to believe that this constitutes what Christianity is supposed to be.

Sadly, we have lost most of what Christianity was supposed to be...relationships (us with God and each other).

Many people have left church involvement because of the disconnection. However, if you can keep an eye out for those on the fringe, you might be able to make relational connections with other Christians.

Web sites like this might help as well;

Christian Pioneer

Thank you so much Tim and also the link to the website.

I think I am going to see if I can have a chat with someone as soon as I am better. Even if it means setting up some kind of accountability buddy network. I've noticed quite a number of women who, like me, attend each week - and who, like me just look as though they are invisible. These women are made up of having never married, to divorcees with children, to single parent Mums. They make small talk at the end of the service, then the 'popular' ones go off into their friendship groups and we seem to leave. Some of the women have stopped coming to church recently. I agree with you in terms of keeping an eye out for them and making them feel that they are seen.

I wouldn't like to know that one of those women have been left feeling like I have these past few days

 

[Neogaia777]

Hi Neogaia

And I thought it was just the UK! When I read the book of Acts I see such a relationship linked community who would all chime in and help each other/equip and encourage each other so that we could go about the Father's business to the lost.

Thank you so much for your prayers

Your welcome.

Peace.

God Bless!

 

[Maria Billingsley]

Hi CF family - I'm a little emotionally raw now as I am currently still recovering from covid. But thought I would post this as it is troubling me.

For those of you who are familiar with my profile, I've been on CF since 2003 and this site has been the closest to what a community of believers should be. Whenever I have not been able to physically fellowship, my walk has grown on this site. In the UK, church attendance is on the decline but where I can I have over the years, tried to find fellowship as I felt it was important especially for my kids and moreso in light of Hebrews 10:25.

We are currently members of a local church and I had thought we'd found our church family. I give to the church, baked cakes for occasions etc. All while holding down a full time job and taking care of my own household as a single parent.

Last Friday I began to feel really unwell, by Saturday I was bedridden and when I tested for covid it immediately came back as positive. My first thought was to contact the prayer line and for prayer so the church knew that we had covid. A friend who I'd known before coming to this church text messaged me to see if I was ok. But that was it - to date nothing from any 'elders' from my church. By Sunday I hadn't improved and my adult daughter tests positive now. It was only my elementary school aged son who has been free from sickness. In order to feed my son we got by with takeout as I was bedridden.

This is what is upsetting for me - during this time I have not had a call or anything from church, yet each Sunday I'll hear of how other members who was convalescing would get calls or visits. Yet the only people who cared were two Muslim friends who have regularly touched base with me (my next door neighbour as she had not seen me for a while and a work colleague). The work colleague would ring me daily which culminated in her bringing over some cooked food. The neighbour volunteered to gather some shopping. My non believing Mum who is herself fragile, prepared food as I was too weak to eat and couldn't stand up for very long to cook for my son.

I thought as a church community we should be doing what three non Christians did for me or what I would do for someone in my situation. I feel so let down. I cried last night as I felt as though I'm not part of the 'in crowd' who would get the calls and the visits.

I apologise for coming out with this but I genuinely thought that if I had died earlier this week, the only thing they would miss would be my tithes and offerings, which I never forsake in giving.

Am I yet again in the wrong fellowship? There really are no other churches in my immediate area.

The world affairs point towards me definitely not keeping my two and myself at home again so not going to church isn't an option.

Do I 'smile and wave' once I'm well enough to return to fellowship? (I wonder if they would even notice)

Or is this something the Lord has used to show a distinct need for a ministry to look after single/divorced women/families? (after crying in prayer last night a thought came that the church needs to change)

How can I witness to my Muslim friends when the reality is no where close to what their community offers when someone is in need? I would hate to see someone won over to Christ and essentially forsake their community support to enter a Christian community who will not support them when they are in need.

Sorry for such a long post - would appreciate some wise counsel. Is it different in the US or the rest of the world? Do you guys have a more scripture based community of believers?

I hope this post finds you recovering!

Are you certain they are aware of the illness in your family? It sounds like you did not call the prayer line .
Blessings.

 

[Tolworth John]

Do you guys have a more scripture based community of believers?

That is a sorry report of uncaring from a ' christian ' community.
May I suggest that you write to the minister about both ncidents and ask him why people did not get back to you, why no one in the church missed you?
I would also ask any people in the church who you count as friends why they didn't miss you?


For the future seek out a few dependable people and build up friendships with them, to the point where you can call them if you are in trouble, sick, or need help/advice.
Your offering does not have to go all to the same place. You can give some to tear fund, some to Christians against poverty, some to overseas missionary organisations and some to your local church.

 

[Pavel Mosko]

Sorry for such a long post - would appreciate some wise counsel. Is it different in the US or the rest of the world? Do you guys have a more scripture based community of believers?

Unfortunately this stuff happens!

If I was in your shoes I would pray about it. God has different ways of getting out attention and leading us. Sometimes Christians and groups screw up and need to be given a chance to fix things. Other times such groups really don't care and deserve to be left in favor of greener pastures.


I would try to budget a lot a time for prayer and discernment on the issue, and maybe copy and paste the OP over at the prayer board too. I would probably do something like pray and maybe fast a few days on it. Take maybe the rest of the month to pray and think upon it. Who knows in that time, maybe someone from the church in question will actually talk to you and ask you how your doing and you can tell them very frankly what you mentioned in the thread.

 

[turkle]

I understand your disappointment, but I think that this might be an opportunity for you to be the change you want to see. When you are recovered, you could start up a ministry in your church that could care for those who are ill or disabled. You could organize a meal train for those struggling. You could be on the look out for people whom you haven't seen for a few weeks and give them a call.

If you are interested in taking it on, you could speak with your pastor and explain how isolated and lonely you were during your illness and your disappointment in the church's response. I would look at it as a call to action.

Praying for your quick recovery.

 

[Joined2krist]

Most Church leadership focus on married folks. Build relationships with other servants of God. You can find them already serving in Charities, Soup kitchens, Animal shelters etc, we are also family here. Pray for you and your family

 

[Neogaia777]

Most Church leadership focus on married folks. Build relationships with other servants of God. You can find them already serving in Charities, Soup kitchens, Animal shelters etc, we are also family here. Pray for you and your family

Well, when they do this, and don't even bother to check in/up on their own flock, then one begins to ask the question "why" it is that they are doing these things, but not the other things, etc...

And I'm betting if you examine it a little bit more further, and a little bit more deeply, you will find that they're motives and motivations and reasons for doing these things, and not the other things, are not so innocent, or pure, or are not nearly as entirely selfless as they seem, etc...

Because if you ask me, there is absolutely no excuse for it, other than they are just too into themselves and their own lives, and are, very deep down, just very, very much extraordinarily selfish, etc...

And all of those good deeds will not save them if they are not done out of only pure motives and only for entirely selfless reasons only, etc...

There is absolutely no excuse for things like this, and churches not even bothering to check up/in on their own, etc...

He's probably right when he says that the only thing they'd probably miss if he even ever left, was just only just his tithes and offerings, etc...

God Bless!

 

[Neogaia777]

Most Church leadership focus on married folks. Build relationships with other servants of God. You can find them already serving in Charities, Soup kitchens, Animal shelters etc, we are also family here. Pray for you and your family

I mean, sure, married couples tend to tithe more right...?

And single people are dirt, right...?

I mean, who cares about their struggles really, as long as us married folk are still in fellowship and stick together, that's all that really matters, right...?

God Bless!

 

[Neogaia777]

Well, when they do this, and don't even bother to check in/up on their own flock, then one begins to ask the question "why" it is that they are doing these things, but not the other things, etc...

And I'm betting if you examine it a little bit more further, and a little bit more deeply, you will find that they're motives and motivations and reasons for doing these things, and not the other things, are not so innocent, or pure, or are not nearly as entirely selfless as they seem, etc...

Because if you ask me, there is absolutely no excuse for it, other than they are just too into themselves and their own lives, and are, very deep down, just very, very much extraordinarily selfish, etc...

And all of those good deeds will not save them if they are not done out of only pure motives and only for entirely selfless reasons only, etc...

There is absolutely no excuse for things like this, and churches not even bothering to check up/in on their own, etc...

He's probably right when he says that the only thing they'd probably miss if he even ever left, was just only just his tithes and offerings, etc...

God Bless!

I mean, sure, married couples tend to tithe more right...?

And single people are dirt, right...?

I mean, who cares about their struggles really, as long as us married folk are still in fellowship and stick together, that's all that really matters, right...?

God Bless!

There is something very, very wrong with today's churches, and a lot of people that attend them, etc.

So, I stay away... Very, very far away, etc...

God Bless!

 

[Neogaia777]

I am very, very sorry if I am kind of breaking your heart right now @Lotuspetal_uk, but the church really needs to "wake up" to these kinds of things, and figure out why the numbers of their memberships are truly declining, etc...

God Bless!

 

[Lotuspetal_uk]

I hope this post finds you recovering!

Are you certain they are aware of the illness in your family? It sounds like you did not call the prayer line .
Blessings.

Hi Maria

Yes, so when we submit a prayer request it gets sent out to the prayer line so every member gets it including the person who submitted the request.