New to youth leadership

[pmbasehore]

All

My wife and I were recently asked to take over our church's youth group. We just came back from a district youth convention, and realized that our youth group is on life support -- they have some major spiritual walls up that make it difficult (at best) to really allow God to move in their lives. During the convention, we realized that we need to make some drastic changes in how the youth group is organized in order to better reach these students.

The first change we're going to make is the name. It was called Ignite Youth, but there were so many "Ignite" and "Epic" groups at convention, it became cliche. We wanted something different and catchy. God put Jeremiah 20:9 in our hearts, so we decided to rename the group "BoneFire". We're going to let the youth choose their new logo, one of the options is below:

Other than that, we're going to redecorate the youth room with the new colors and logo for the ministry. We're hoping that this will serve two purposes: first, make them proud of their youth group, and feel a sense of ownership. Secondly, we hope that spending so much more time with them outside of the normal Wednesday night services will allow God to break down some of those spiritual walls.

I say all this because my wife and I are extremely new to youth ministry -- we come from a background of Royal Rangers and Girls Ministries. In fact, we're not even ordained ministers (though I'm working toward my Certificate of Ministry). I was hoping some of the more experienced youth leaders and youth pastors on here could give us some advice.

 

[Joshua V]

No offense but that looks and sounds scary!

 

[pmbasehore]

Incidentally, Jeremiah 20:9 (NIV) says:

But if I say, "I will not mention Him or speak any more in His name," His word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.

 

[Michele B]

Congratulations to you, both! It's a hapless job, working with youth! Very difficult job these days, anyway!

One thing is: Kids today need to be kept BUSY! Plan lots of "outings," take them to bowling, mini-golf, etc. Not every week, but at least once every 6 weeks. Have fund-raisers, like car wash, so they can help raiser their own money for these outings.

Also, lots of games and "team-building" activities. Make them a "community."

I'm sure the most important thing is your willingness to work with them. And love them!

God Bless,

Michele

 

[steve bp]

There really isn't a technique but my pastor taught me to get to know each of them. The size of youth group that may be difficult but if you can find people in your church to help and that could help. I have done youth for about two and half years and in the last year I have about only my self to do youth if your the only ones now work at getting to know at least something about each one that way you can have away to connect with each one. When your connecting with them take them out and do things with them in groups. Some times see if you can take the guys to do something and let your wife do some things with the girls. Also be excited about each of them cheer for them and if you can attend some of there games and other stuff they will feel even better connecting with you and your wife. All of this will help you and them build a relationship where when they really need to talk to you they will. The rest what the Lord gives you to teach is seed of his word that will be planted in there hearts where the Lord will work in there hearts. I know I have much to learn but when you see some of these young people hurt and angry looking for an answer the Lord can use you to help them make sense of those things that are causing them to act out their hurts and angers. I hope this makes sense.

 

[Mess]

I have to agree with Joshua saying, that logo looks kind of scary. Remember, and this is important for anyone working in a church environment. There will be many people that are emotionally invested in it, and will have an opinion. You don't need to go bland, but personal opinion, I think people are going to oppose to this logo, I would if I were in your church.

Secondly, there are a few basic rules for youth ministry. Be authentic, never try to be anything you're not. Kids pick up on that, they won't take you seriously. If you are a book person, don't become something else, if you love sports and outdoors, well don't become something else either. Don't try to bring the world into the church. The church will NEVER be able to give the kids a better version of the world than the world can. These are actually two really big reasons youngsters leave the church. They hate fake people, they want the church to offer them something different. Finally, stay true to the gospel, and preach in truth and in love.

 

[steve bp]

I agree there with Mess being authentic is a must, not sure what I think about the logo, the youth name at our church is called soul searchers youth. It was named before I ever became youth pastor, I have seen not to many other youth ministries and would love to chat with other youth pastors and see how to even become better in areas I lack in. For me you have to have a heart for them, I have noticed that they know if you do or don't.

 

[jcbones]

Our group is called Equip Student Ministries. I have noticed a few other groups that carry the same or very similar names. It doesn't really matter though, as we are all one body of believers.

Things that we found (learned).
1. Students want to be needed. So when asking for volunteers, be sure to specify that you "need" them. Find things they are good at, then don't stand over them, just let them do it.

2. Falls under 1, Don't feel you have to do everything yourself. Find the leaders of the group, they will be the ones that have followers. Just make sure you get the good leaders, and not the bad ones. Be careful and don't identify leaders just because they are popular, or their parents are church leaders. You want leaders that will help the group grow spiritually, and not in popularity.

3. Also leads back to 1. Students love MINISTRY, over FUN. This might seem like a weird concept, but in ministry, they are giving back to the community. You can do a little test of this from time to time. Get 2 different outings together, one in ministry, and another in a fun activity, and let them vote. The first time we did this, as a test, our choices were: a trip to the mountains for a fun filled weekend, or a trip to Jacksonville, FL to minister to intercity kids (partnering with a ministry already there). They chose Jacksonville, and we had 80% participation (28 attended). We have more attend the ministry trips, than they do the fun trips (which we still do), and we are OK with that.

4. Spending time is just as important to students as your own children. There is nothing wrong with a "game night".

5. Parents are important, even "THE ONE". There will always be parents that nitpick over every little thing. They can be the most important parents of all, so don't get mad at them to much. They will help you get on your A game, as when they are happy then no one else could possibly be mad. They will be the ones that help you learn to be punctual.

6. Don't forget to leave time for yourself to get recharged. You need to be ministered to also. We can focus on ministering to the point that we lose focus on Christ. So make sure you have a plan to be ministered to.

I could go on, as there is so much to know, and I don't even know it all myself, nor will I ever. Shabbach Youth Conferences has some great information for youth leaders, and/or pastors, and they are always willing to listen and help in any way that they can.

 

[gasman64]

I was in youth groups, very successful ones and did youth work for years. It is very hard to apply structure with youth. Names and slogans tend to be more important to the organizers than the youth themselves. If they feel they are invested, they will enter in. It is a huge task for you, but one very important thing is opening your own home and hospitality. They will be real important to win their trust. But you invest your entire family. The youth will embrace your whole family if they feel you are genuine and not closed off, I hope you have great success.

 

[ASonofThunder]

I partially agree with Gasman. Slogans, logos, and the like do tend to be more important to the organisers than the youth, but as at least in my region youth often discuss what different youth groups have on, they like to have a youth group they are not embarrassed to mention's name. Personally I think your name is unusual, stands out, and I like it and the message behind it.

 

[kds1986]

blessings to you. great leadership to be in..

 

[Rlatham]

Congrats on taking on this great role. I am so happy you get to work with youth. I have been a youth pastor for 14 years! It is the best thing that I could do. It is a great honor to be given the opportunity to work with youth.

I love the relational side of what has been said here. Being relational is vital today. Students want to be known, cared for, held accountable and encouraged in their spiritual journey by both peeps and adults.

This is a great role that that you are playing. I wrote a blog entry called, Fathering a generation that might help. You can check it out at rlatham.com/blog. The link is on the right hand side once you scroll down a little ways.

I would love to help in any way that I can. If you would like to talk more you can email anytime. Good luck and God bless.

 

[jsimms615]

Our group is called Equip Student Ministries. I have noticed a few other groups that carry the same or very similar names. It doesn't really matter though, as we are all one body of believers.

Things that we found (learned).
1. Students want to be needed. So when asking for volunteers, be sure to specify that you "need" them. Find things they are good at, then don't stand over them, just let them do it.

2. Falls under 1, Don't feel you have to do everything yourself. Find the leaders of the group, they will be the ones that have followers. Just make sure you get the good leaders, and not the bad ones. Be careful and don't identify leaders just because they are popular, or their parents are church leaders. You want leaders that will help the group grow spiritually, and not in popularity.

3. Also leads back to 1. Students love MINISTRY, over FUN. This might seem like a weird concept, but in ministry, they are giving back to the community. You can do a little test of this from time to time. Get 2 different outings together, one in ministry, and another in a fun activity, and let them vote. The first time we did this, as a test, our choices were: a trip to the mountains for a fun filled weekend, or a trip to Jacksonville, FL to minister to intercity kids (partnering with a ministry already there). They chose Jacksonville, and we had 80% participation (28 attended). We have more attend the ministry trips, than they do the fun trips (which we still do), and we are OK with that.

4. Spending time is just as important to students as your own children. There is nothing wrong with a "game night".

5. Parents are important, even "THE ONE". There will always be parents that nitpick over every little thing. They can be the most important parents of all, so don't get mad at them to much. They will help you get on your A game, as when they are happy then no one else could possibly be mad. They will be the ones that help you learn to be punctual.

6. Don't forget to leave time for yourself to get recharged. You need to be ministered to also. We can focus on ministering to the point that we lose focus on Christ. So make sure you have a plan to be ministered to.

I could go on, as there is so much to know, and I don't even know it all myself, nor will I ever. Shabbach Youth Conferences has some great information for youth leaders, and/or pastors, and they are always willing to listen and help in any way that they can.

I like a lot of your ideas. I was a youth minister a long time ago. I can say that when we did service projects the youth often got involved with enthusiasm. They like to feel like they are helping others.
I also agree with the idea of using the natural leaders of the youth group. The youth group I was a part of as a teenager had a lot of leadership within the group. We had strong adult leaders, but we also had strong internal leadership. I tried to use a youth council when I could and let them make some decisions themselves.
I wanted to be the cool youth leader so I let the youth have headsets and their own music on a trip that we had. I found out sometime during the trip what some of them were listening to and that privilege went away fast. Don't worry so much about being cool. The youth know you are not a teenager. They need you to be a role model, not another teenager.

 

[Pastor Glenn]

Here for you and have some resources to help and encourage. Feel free to contact

PG

 

[DreyDay]

No amount of pizza, bowling and fellowship will change teenagers' hearts. No amount of youth activities is going to help that 15 year old guy who's having trouble overcoming insecurities about shyness, anxiety, bullying, smoking marijuana, doubt in his faith, his emptiness inside.

All those fun things are good, but they're just bells and whistles without what's the most important: having positive male role models in the youth groups that can shape both guys and girls to people having strong values and having affirmation.

That 15 year old teen can complain he's not fitting in and he leaves the group. Nobody told him he was "ok" and everything's going to be "just fine." It was just some fun and games without any male role model stepping in and building him up.