New backslidden Christian

[Tzhaar724]

Hi, I am a New Christian that left faith as a young boy and returned now 8 years later. But lately I have been very suicidal, I have been depressed ever since I was a young kid, nothing ever goes my way, whether it was falsely fired from my job and kicked out of Marine bootcamp for ADHD. But thats not what made me depressed, Ive been depressed because I feel life is completely pointless, we are just these species full of evilness and greed <Staff Edit>. Everyone is out there to profit for themselves, life in general is barren and a waste of time, just people working so hard chasing money into the grave, and frankly I havent had the will to go on with life since I was a boy. <Staff Edit> I admit Im deeply afraid I might go to hell <Staff Edit> but I am confused about everything. I feel like hell is too cliche and was made to scare people into believing. Secondly I doubt God would send me to hell if I did because by that logic Id go to hell if I cursed right before I died. If Christs death covered me in his blood shed shouldnt I automatically go to Heaven for accepting him as my Lord and Savior. People have tried to motivate me to go find a new job and keep on living but it never works and Ive been sad the whole time. I need serious help with this because on top of trying to have faith in something I cant see I also want to kill myself and I am trying to wrap my head around everything and just cant, I just feel like exploding and ending it all.

 

[Tigger45]

Hey bud I deal with a lot of anxiety myself and the Lord has been showing me 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. God bless.

 

[Tzhaar724]

Thanks for the verse but how will God help me over come my hatred of humanity, Ive been like this since I was a kid. I understand God helping me through my dead father and what not but how can God blame me for hating living in a sinful unfulfilling world especially nowadays with a typical 9-5 just to eat dinner and go to bed. Theres no point in missionarys anymore like calls from the God back long ago. Everyone has already heard God's word and what not.

 

[rockygeraty]

Tzhaar724,

You're right in one point; I am going to tell you not to do it. Life seems depressing because the enemy is lying to you and telling you that it is. There is a spiritual battle going on for your soul at this very moment. Where you see pointlessness, God sees a plan for you. Giving in to that depression only permits the enemy to take a more solid claim on your soul. I am not going to fill you with platitudes and tell you that everything is going to get better and that life is so much better after you get through this, because you already know these things. I am going to tell you that this is your story. This is the testimoy that someone out there needs to hear. This is the weapon that you are going to use against the enemy that will make him quake in fear. When you get to the other side of this Valley and you begin your journey back up the hill, remember that you need to share this story. Someone out there is going through this exact same thing and can not see through o the light. That is when you will understand that this was all for a purpose; just like I did.

God Bless and Keep you,

Rocky

 

[Morn2000]

Hi, I am a New Christian that left faith as a young boy and returned now 8 years later. But lately I have been very suicidal, I have been depressed ever since I was a young kid, nothing ever goes my way, whether it was falsely fired from my job and kicked out of Marine bootcamp for ADHD. But thats not what made me depressed, Ive been depressed because I feel life is completely pointless, we are just these species full of evilness and greed<Staff Edit>. Everyone is out there to profit for themselves, life in general is barren and a waste of time, just people working so hard chasing money into the grave, and frankly I havent had the will to go on with life since I was a boy. <Staff Edit> I admit Im deeply afraid I might go to hell <Staff Edit> but I am confused about everything. I feel like hell is too cliche and was made to scare people into believing. Secondly I doubt God would send me to hell if I did because by that logic Id go to hell if I cursed right before I died. If Christs death covered me in his blood shed shouldnt I automatically go to Heaven for accepting him as my Lord and Savior. People have tried to motivate me to go find a new job and keep on living but it never works and Ive been sad the whole time. I need serious help with this because on top of trying to have faith in something I cant see I also want to kill myself and I am trying to wrap my head around everything and just cant, I just feel like exploding and ending it all.

I'm not sure if this will help you or not, but I understand what you're going through. Living in the earthly realm is hard but God can be our strength. It's hard to fight negativity when it's all around us. When you accepted Jesus as your saviour you have accepted rights into the heavenly realm...so you can access all His promises. They are there for you. Something He showed me is that we limit ourselves. There is good in this world and there is beauty but we have to choose to see it. In the Bible it talks of renewing our minds and our hearts. That's what we have to do by trusting God that every day we are walking with Him. There are days when I wake up and say "I feel great, today is beautiful and I am blessed." Even if my flesh is telling me the opposite. We have to fight against the negativity...the corruption and the greed. We have to take the limits off God and believe big for ourselves. He wants us to.
I can't tell you it will all be ok...and that's probably the last thing you want to hear right now seeing as you don't feel that way. You don't have to wrap your head around everything. I've tried and it's scary. Come against worry, your thoughts and give it all to God. Fully trust him and He will build that trust with you as He reveals things to you. Step out in that faith and give it all to Him.
I went through a few years of wanting to end it all and I tried but now that I'm not in that situation I can analyze it and myself. I can see all the good that has come out of it. I had to pray off many spirits to better myself that were hindering me. Effecting me. Often times the bigger the battle the bigger the calling that's on your life. I don't know you but I love you. There is good in all of us when the spirit comes to live in us.
Message me if you need to talk.

 

[Pink Spider]

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Welcome to CF!
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Welcome and Thank you so much for your introduction!
If you have any questions -
please don't hesitate to send me a PM!
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[God's Child]

This thread has been moved from the Introductions forum

to the Christian Advice forum.​

Mod Hat Off​

​

 

[yuppers]

I can relate. I used to struggle with suicidal thoughts daily. I'm thankful those thoughts have stopped. Life is pretty pointless, I still get that feeling sometimes. As Christians this world isn't were we are meant to be. But, saying that doesn't mean your supposed to kill yourself. Yes a lot of the time I'm alive is just time filler waiting till I die. There will always be crime, the rich will always get richer, the poor stay poor. I used to struggle all the time with how unfair the world is. It will never be fair, you can be the nicest person alive and someone will take advantage of you and hurt you. All that doesn't mean you can't try to live a happy life though. I used to have no friends and struggled with alcohol I prayed to God that he would kill me. I had to hit the bottom of lifes barrel to crawl my way to were I'm at now. I started going to church with lots of young people. Im a quiet person but I still made an effort to talk to people. Now thanks to God I'm actually happy in life.

Keep fighting man, don't give up on life. Make a small effort everyday to fix something. Find something in your life to fight for. I hope your life turns around soon there is happiness. This verse helped me get through my hard time hopefully it can help you.

1 Peter‬ ‭1‬:‭7‬ NLT
These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world. ‭

 

[Odetta]

Have you ever seen a doctor for your depression? Because God gave a good number of people the smarts in figuring out how to alleviate it.

 

[paul1149]

Suicide would be a terrible waste. It is not what the Lord wants for you. He gave Himself for you because He loves you and wants the best. Your value to Him is equal to what Christ paid on the cross.

Christ is not something we add to the mix, He is life itself:

When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Col 3.4

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. -Gal 2:20 ​

Let your despondency drive you to God. Lean on Him, rest in Him, and let Him fight this battle for you. His power is perfected in weakness (2Cor 12), so this is an opportunity to draw near to Him and be transformed.

 

[wmc1982]

God promises to give you wisdom if you ask for it

Check out some of my last few posts, I'm having a very hard time, but I have to keep going forward. Watch some Chan or Piper on youtube; when you focus on Jesus everything else will cease to matter knowing he's in control of everything, even your thoughts and actions.

 

[Johnnz]

You need some wise Christian counsel and teaching. God loves the people you have difficulty with. But you need some assistance with re-orientating your thinking.

John
NZ

 

[bottledwater]

Hi, I am a New Christian that left faith as a young boy and returned now 8 years later. But lately I have been very suicidal, I have been depressed ever since I was a young kid, nothing ever goes my way, whether it was falsely fired from my job and kicked out of Marine bootcamp for ADHD. But thats not what made me depressed, Ive been depressed because I feel life is completely pointless, we are just these species full of evilness and greed <Staff Edit>. Everyone is out there to profit for themselves, life in general is barren and a waste of time, just people working so hard chasing money into the grave, and frankly I havent had the will to go on with life since I was a boy. <Staff Edit> I admit Im deeply afraid I might go to hell <Staff Edit> but I am confused about everything. I feel like hell is too cliche and was made to scare people into believing. Secondly I doubt God would send me to hell if I did because by that logic Id go to hell if I cursed right before I died. If Christs death covered me in his blood shed shouldnt I automatically go to Heaven for accepting him as my Lord and Savior. People have tried to motivate me to go find a new job and keep on living but it never works and Ive been sad the whole time. I need serious help with this because on top of trying to have faith in something I cant see I also want to kill myself and I am trying to wrap my head around everything and just cant, I just feel like exploding and ending it all.

I'm not going to try and win you over with scriptural mumbo jumbo. You already have a pretty clear Idea anyhow, that you are saved thru the blood of Jesus.
I just wanna say that you are in that tough age bracket, where, it really does appear hopeless. I promise you that it is more of an age thing, than anything else.
It will get better as you get a little older, and it seems to be a little more tolerable with the passing of each year.
Maybe as we get older, we become become more independent , and secure within our self, so life doesn't impact us as hard.
I don't think that you wanna actually kill yourself. I think that you are just struggling to find where you fit into all of this, and I totally get that.
Life has a way of kicking us around until we somehow land on our feet in a job, that we may not love, but it allows us to afford to have and do the things that we want.
It took me alot of years to get that. And I still hate my job. But, the money is fair, and I always have that feeling of being needed.
You are right that you probably aren't going to go to Hell if you kill yourself. But, are you that selfish to put those that do love you thru all of that pain. I mean, I don't even know you, and your breaking my heart, already.
Why not just take your time, and roll with whatever comes your way, and if you are really serious about killing yourself. Then you can do that anytime. So what's the hurry.
The thing is, that once you do it. You really don't have a clear conscience as to what awaits you on the other side. The problems you have now, may seem pale in comparison to what is to come, and there is no end to that.
You mentioned Hell, and I can honestly say that it is beyond anything that we can comprehend. Just as Heaven is.
There is the story in the book of Luke, that tells of the rich man that ended up there. Go and read that story. He says that he is tormented in the flame, and he is so thirsty that a drop of water would suffice to quench it. Imagine, just 1 drop. That guy is dry...
Tzhaar, I love you , and I don't want you to do anything that could hurt yourself.
I know that it is hard to believe me, a stranger. But, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. And right now you are breaking it.
Don't do this to those of us that love you. You are far to precious to the people around you. Your parents, and siblings, and what about your friends.
I don't know how close you are with Jesus. But, He certainly loves you, and His plans for your life are awesome. You just need to wait and see.
Give it time, and I promise you that things will get better, and you will see that there are some of us that don't just chase after money. I mean, we work to support our lifestyle, but, money is only that. A means to live.
Anyhow my friend, don't give up. if I was a betting man, I would say that you have a bright and wonderful life ahead of you. There will be someone out there that is going to make even your most mundane days seem like they are the best. just wait and see, because it can all change today.
God bless you, and you know you're loved. Right?

 

[Goodbook]

A lot of those people that work 9 to 5 actually havent heard Gods word. You may be surprised, but theres heaps of people older than myself who should know better, so I thought...but they actually havent heard the gospel, or they had long forgotten. So they are slaves to their jobs.

Look you are in a place right now where God wants you. Rest in him for a while and allow him to strengthen you. keep reading the Bible. Then you will see.

Remember He loves you and he does need us to fufill our lives on earth and be prepared for his coming kIngdom. Perhaps being kicked out of bootcamp and being fired from work is the best thing..how do you know those places arent just babylon and God doesnt want you there anyway?

 

[Johnnz]

A lot of those people that work 9 to 5 actually havent heard Gods word. You may be surprised, but theres heaps of people older than myself who should know better, so I thought...but they actually havent heard the gospel, or they had long forgotten. So they are slaves to their jobs.

Look you are in a place right now where God wants you. Rest in him for a while and allow him to strengthen you. keep reading the Bible. Then you will see.

Remember He loves you and he does need us to fufill our lives on earth and be prepared for his coming kIngdom. Perhaps being kicked out of bootcamp and being fired from work is the best thing..how do you know those places arent just babylon and God doesnt want you there anyway?

Are you suggesting that people's work is a 'sub christian' activity?

John
NZ

 

[Goodbook]

Are you suggesting that people's work is a 'sub christian' activity?

John
NZ

Not at all.
Those that dont know the Lord are chained to their work thats all. Find the work that God wants you to do. Whatever you do, do it for Him. It may not be a 9 to 5 job. There are many many other kinds of work out there that He wants people to do. He wants labourers for His harvest in fields that are ripe...look for those ripe fields.

 

[Johnnz]

Not at all.
Those that dont know the Lord are chained to their work thats all. Find the work that God wants you to do. Whatever you do, do it for Him. It may not be a 9 to 5 job. There are many many other kinds of work out there that He wants people to do. He wants labourers for His harvest in fields that are ripe...look for those ripe fields.

I'm, not sure exactly what you are implying but it looks a lot like a non biblical sacred/secular division in your thinking. But the Op was after advice. This is not the place to extend this line of thought.

John
NZ

 

[Goodbook]

I think the op was introducing themselves and the thread got moved to advice.
If a person is feeling suicidal they dont need advice. They need a hug and to know that God loves them.

It doesnt matter about the world..forget that. God put you on earth for a reason and that reason you need to seek God for his will for your life. Sometimes we dont know yet but thats no reason to kill yourself and let the enemy win.

 

[BFine]

Thanks for the verse but how will God help me over come my hatred of humanity, Ive been like this since I was a kid. I understand God helping me through my dead father and what not but how can God blame me for hating living in a sinful unfulfilling world especially nowadays with a typical 9-5 just to eat dinner and go to bed. Theres no point in missionarys anymore like calls from the God back long ago. Everyone has already heard God's word and what not.

*What caused this hatred?

No need for missionaries?
Untrue, there are plenty of people in
places all around the world who haven't heard God's Word... my step-daughter and her family are in a remote area in Indonesia, where people
live in such poverty, they lack education, medical services are very basic
and often things are very unsanitary, so infection is common and people die
because of it.

More than 80% of the people in Indonesia are Muslim.

I know there's many spaces available in Indonesia for helpers/volunteers.
There's many more spaces available in Haiti, Brazil etc...not to mention places here in North America where there's a new generation that's not heard the gospel due to many of the children being offspring of parents who left church behind a long time ago to do their own thing...this new generation of children are being raised in: New Age, Mysticism, occult/satanic practices, Bahai etc.

 

[Goodbook]

Bfine are your relatives near any place like Mt Hope?

A few months ago a couple from our church came back and spoke about it. Yes they need volunteers, teachers, helping hands. I'm wondering if I could help in any way, although I'm kinda needed here (STILL).