My symptoms...

[Reneemo4]

Just wondering if anyone else here similar issues that I have...

My anxiety leads to extremism. For example...for the longest time I refused to drink out of a water bottle that had already been opened. I am SO paranoid of being drugged, whether by accident or on purpose. I will have a full blown panic attack if I even get a smell of pot (my ex is a huge druggie, and sometimes when I am there to pick up kids I can smell it on him). I worry about drugs/alcohol/any kind of intoxicating or mind altering substances. I won't have a glass of wine, or a bottle of beer, nothing. It's to the point of being irrational. I also refused to chew gum after seeing a TV show where some kids were poisoned by chewing gum. (I got over that one, and the water bottle thing is ok, if I'm at home in my safe place but not anywhere else) It scares me to the point of paralyzation if I think I might have come in contact with anything that will make me feel doped or drugged, and I know it's a control issue, but I can't seem to find a way to get over these fears.

These are my extremes. I have anxiety, and I've lived with it for a while and have taken lots of measures to reduce my anxiety, but sometimes these irrational fears boil over and it makes me feel so weak and insecure. Anyone know of any good books that could help? There's so much out there, but I need real down-to-earth advice.

 

[hollyda]

Just wondering if anyone else here similar issues that I have...

My anxiety leads to extremism. For example...for the longest time I refused to drink out of a water bottle that had already been opened. I am SO paranoid of being drugged, whether by accident or on purpose. I will have a full blown panic attack if I even get a smell of pot (my ex is a huge druggie, and sometimes when I am there to pick up kids I can smell it on him). I worry about drugs/alcohol/any kind of intoxicating or mind altering substances. I won't have a glass of wine, or a bottle of beer, nothing. It's to the point of being irrational. I also refused to chew gum after seeing a TV show where some kids were poisoned by chewing gum. (I got over that one, and the water bottle thing is ok, if I'm at home in my safe place but not anywhere else) It scares me to the point of paralyzation if I think I might have come in contact with anything that will make me feel doped or drugged, and I know it's a control issue, but I can't seem to find a way to get over these fears.

These are my extremes. I have anxiety, and I've lived with it for a while and have taken lots of measures to reduce my anxiety, but sometimes these irrational fears boil over and it makes me feel so weak and insecure. Anyone know of any good books that could help? There's so much out there, but I need real down-to-earth advice.

Sounds a little like OCD to me (OCD sufferer of 20 years), but you're better having a doctor diagnosing you.

In essence, OCD is the obsession (fear - be it gum, bottled water, etc.) and then the compulsion to neutralize that fear (in your case, it would be avoiding those substances).

The best way to handle OCD is exposure therapy. In this case, you would chew gum. Your anxiety level might spike, but it will eventually begin to drop, as people can't stay in an elevated level of anxiety for long.

Again, if you're not seeing a doctor, please schedule an appointment. Only an expert can diagnose you.

 

[BakoGuy]

Not to get off topic here but why are your kids seeing their Dad if He's a big time druggie? I wouldn't want my kids exposed to that junk, could you please explain whats going on here with this? thanks.

 

[Stephanie2381]

Hello, I have a fear of medication, actually looked it up on Google to see if there was such a phobia, and there is!! Its called pharmacophobia, not sure if i'm spelling that right. If I can manage to work up the courage to take a pill prescribed for me, I almost always have anxiety/panic attack because I think that since I have swallowed it, I have come to the point of no return, and whatever side effects the pill is going to do to me I cannot then control! New meds, or taking multiple meds is a anxiety/panic provoking thing for me -- usually I pray that I will not have an anxiety/panic episode and that God will keep me from having side effects or symptoms once I swallow the pill -- usually everything is ok if I swallow a pill, but just the thought of "oh no I swallowed that pill now what will it do to my brain and body" really freaks me out...

God Bless -- Stephanie

 

[Reneemo4]

Hello, I have a fear of medication, actually looked it up on Google to see if there was such a phobia, and there is!! Its called pharmacophobia, not sure if i'm spelling that right. If I can manage to work up the courage to take a pill prescribed for me, I almost always have anxiety/panic attack because I think that since I have swallowed it, I have come to the point of no return, and whatever side effects the pill is going to do to me I cannot then control! New meds, or taking multiple meds is a anxiety/panic provoking thing for me -- usually I pray that I will not have an anxiety/panic episode and that God will keep me from having side effects or symptoms once I swallow the pill -- usually everything is ok if I swallow a pill, but just the thought of "oh no I swallowed that pill now what will it do to my brain and body" really freaks me out...

God Bless -- Stephanie

Well it's good to know two things:
1) It is a diagnosable phobia! Which leads to...
2) I'm not the only person in the world who suffers this phenomena!! I had such a hard time even starting my allergy pills last year when they got out of control again. For years I only would take my natural remedy, which somehow in my mind made it ok to take because it was made of natural ingredients (/shrug - figure that out, lol), and I absolutely had to take something stronger because all of a sudden it wouldn't work.

Stephanie, thanks for sharing that, it somehow eases the burden knowing I'm not alone.

 

[Stephanie2381]

I am glad that I am not alone too! This forum and another one that I can direct you to if you want to private message me, have shown me that I am not alone, others suffering just like me, and going through same trials and tribulations -- I always wonder WHY ME?? I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO GET THROUGH! But God must think I am because I keep going through it! I had to get on new medication as my Paxil totally stopped working -- yeah that was fun -- and I threw a royal fit in my pschiatrists office turning a 15 min appointment into an hour long one, but he was so willing to sit there and help me out and did not mind going way over my time!! I did apologize to him the next appointment for my behaviour and thanked him for staying so long with me, and he was like dont ever feel that you need to apologize to me, you act just like you need to, I am always here to help Needless to say the fit was because he wanted to try me on Cymbalta and I just KNEW that I would have bad reaction to it, it would not work, or it might make me crazy! So far I think it is helping with depression (I got really down), but is not doing anything for my fibro pain -- would rather be in pain that depressed! Mood stabilizer Depakote has been increased and if I can keep myself from thinking that it is harming me, it might be a good fit...I have a hard time being in tune to my "feelings" all the time, I am constantly checking myself for symptoms, etc -- I have hard time staying off Google looking up the side effects and reactions too! I need to quit that doc said -- he said that 95% of those who dont have issues dont get online to say they did not have issues -- you only see the ones who gripe about the meds -- yeah I see a lot of that online!!

God Bless ! Stephanie

 

[Reneemo4]

Not to get off topic here but why are your kids seeing their Dad if He's a big time druggie? I wouldn't want my kids exposed to that junk, could you please explain whats going on here with this? thanks.

My apologies for missing this post...

Answer is simple - court order - don't have a choice. He gets them every other weekend, except for the older girls who have a choice if they want to go because they are 14 and 13.

 

[Reneemo4]

I am glad that I am not alone too! This forum and another one that I can direct you to if you want to private message me, have shown me that I am not alone, others suffering just like me, and going through same trials and tribulations -- I always wonder WHY ME?? I AM NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO GET THROUGH! But God must think I am because I keep going through it! I had to get on new medication as my Paxil totally stopped working -- yeah that was fun -- and I threw a royal fit in my pschiatrists office turning a 15 min appointment into an hour long one, but he was so willing to sit there and help me out and did not mind going way over my time!! I did apologize to him the next appointment for my behaviour and thanked him for staying so long with me, and he was like dont ever feel that you need to apologize to me, you act just like you need to, I am always here to help Needless to say the fit was because he wanted to try me on Cymbalta and I just KNEW that I would have bad reaction to it, it would not work, or it might make me crazy! So far I think it is helping with depression (I got really down), but is not doing anything for my fibro pain -- would rather be in pain that depressed! Mood stabilizer Depakote has been increased and if I can keep myself from thinking that it is harming me, it might be a good fit...I have a hard time being in tune to my "feelings" all the time, I am constantly checking myself for symptoms, etc -- I have hard time staying off Google looking up the side effects and reactions too! I need to quit that doc said -- he said that 95% of those who dont have issues dont get online to say they did not have issues -- you only see the ones who gripe about the meds -- yeah I see a lot of that online!!

God Bless ! Stephanie

I'm going to find you the post I read the other day which described me to a 't'. It was in another topic about mental health issues, hope I can remember for you! I'll post it here and I'll pm you so we can share resources! That will be so great!!

 

[Reneemo4]

This was posted by a Julian of York (hope he doesn't me mind sharing his amazing wisdom here with you... ).

May I point out two things?
1) You are likely a "symptom checker"...that is, someone that monitors their feelings and signs and symptoms to an extent that , if you have sweaty palms, you run through the things it could be. If you have chest pain (which all anxious people do) you are like Fred Sanford ("Sanford & Son") that is having "the BIG ONE!" If you are dizzy (brain tumor),etc. This attention to symptoms thus leaves you WIDE OPEN for a panic attack.
***Try ,everytime you are alarmed by your syptoms (which includes thoughts) tell yourself the TRUTH: a.It most likely is nothing. (a phenominal percentage of family doctor visits are about anxiety over something that cannot be proven to be physical)
***Pray and explain to God that you cannot understand or deal with this problem and that,unless you give it to Him, you will have a panic attack.
***Panic attacks DO NOT,repeat DO NOT harm you.So take a relaxed attitude about them.They are scary? CHECK! They mess up your day? CHECK! They worry you? CHECK! ut do they actually HURT YOU? No!
2)You likely expect bad things to happen to you. When you expect bad things,and something OUT OF THE ORDINARY HAPPENS, you conclude that it is something bad! Everytime!
***Secret Information*** If you are truly a Christian, God is forming YOU into the Image of His Dear Son,the Lord Jesus. Therefore, like a sculptor that takes a block of stone,and chips away everything that does not look like ,for example, President Obama, our God is chipping away everything from YOUR LIFE that does not look like the Pure Son of God!!!
Therefore,when you read the Bible verse," And we know that ALL THINGS work together for good,to them that love God,to them that are called according to His Purpose." You feel that "Wait a minute!!!" Everything is NOT working out good since I became a Christian!!! My beloved friend,notice the verse says that things are working together for GOOD to them that love God (which I assume you do) but Also for those called according to His PURPOSE! What purpose!?!?! you ask. The making of YOU into the IMAGE OF CHRIST!
So,we could understand this verse to be "All things work together for good by a loving God that is performing His good work of making you the Image of Jesus."
So,dear friend,be prepared for more THINGS that are going to chip away YOU and leave the IMAGE OF HIM! Next panic attack, think this thought: God is making ME into a PICTURE OF JESUS.
Most of us kick and scream and worry and panic about this painful process... but you are not satisfied with being a baby Christian,are you?

Julian of York
PS..."GOOGLE"up "RAY COMFORT ON ANXIETY" for a short article that will be of tremendous help!

Stephanie - this is me!! It's so exhausting! I honestly could not put words to it until he described it in this post. Some days are better than others, but when my defences are down (like recently as I am so exhausted) it's awful to constantly check on myself.

 

[Stephanie2381]

Reneemo4 - oh yes maam, that is me too My husband really thinks its weird that I can be soooo in-tune with my "feelings and symptoms" sorry buddy, yes I can. Its kinda freaky, yeah, but hey cant change it because it comes from anxiety. I really enjoyed the post from Julian -- I have been telling myself when I feel panic/anxiety come on that I am OK -- I do pray when I feel them coming on and I know that God does intervene and make them nasty things go away! WHEW!

God Bless -- Stephanie