My heart is so Broken, It's been 3 Months

[GMRELIC]

On December 28, 2003 I lost my only son to a accidental gun shot, He was only 15, It has been so hard dealing with the grief and some time the pain is nearly unbearable. My Grief seems to be like a Tital wave, it seems when I am finally able to get up and dust myself off another wave comes and knocks me down again, I still seem to be living in a daze, I am still in disbelief, I find myself now avoiding people because I just don't want to discuss it with them anymore. I am so mentally and physically tired, I cannot seem to get enough sleep. I have been going to a Dr. over all this and he says it will take time, and I know it will.
I have a daughter that needs me really bad right now and it seems i am so caught up in my own grief that I am really blinded to hers, She is really afraid to tell me she needs to talk or anything that she thinks will hurt me. I know there is a reason for everything that happened even though I diffently do not understand it. I never in my wildest dream thought I would have to bury one of my children. I ask God daily what now? what am I suppose to do? Guide me? I don't seem to be getting answers, I pray for signs that my son is ok, and I don't seem to get answers. My son is a christian, so I don't know why I feel so compeled
to get a sign or something that he is ok. I spend alot of time at his grave, I guess maybe it makes me feel like I am close to him.
I do know that God does get me through this 1 minute at a time, It not a day at a time, but a minute at a time. I see his friends and it puts me into a very depressed state, I see his personal items around the house
and its all I do to keep myself together. I still have a 12 pack of his RootBeer in the refridgerator, and his 1/2 gallon of icecream in the freezer. His tooth brush is still in the toothbrush holder, his comb and brush and colonge are still where he left them. all of his Christmas gifts are still where he put them in his room and he was never able to enjoy them, I think I am just rambling, just so confused about everything and hurt so bad.

 

[rockwell]

May God give you the peace & comfort that you need

Hi please listen to this, it might make you feel a fraction better...
TRUSTING GOD WHEN LIFE DOESN'T MAKE SENSE (just click here and go to the title Trusting God when life.... once the page is open)

 

[GreenEyedLady]

GRmelic-
2 Samuel 12:23 But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.

You are normal, please know that first. Its been almost 2 years since I held my twin daughter and I still miss her badley. Its ok that you have not packed anything up. Your not ready. It took me 6 month to get Chey's cloths packed up out of Seth's room and just 2 months ago I removed her dresser from the room. What I kept telling myself is that regardless of whether these things are here where I can see them, or in a box, the pain remains the same because its either there and it hurts or its not there and it hurts.
I still go to Cheyenne's grave and I have never been much of a grave site person. BOth of my parents are dead and I very rarely go and visit them. I am comming to realize that she is not there under that ground. She is in heaven with Jesus.
Keep asking God for answers and begging him for comfort. It will happen. He will give you answeres and sometimes they have been answered and you don't even realize it yet. What has happened in your life and those around you since your son's passing?
One more thing, have you searched for a life verse yet? If not, you really need one. Pray that God will reveal that to you when you read.
Love
GEL

 

[MeetJoeBlack]

The LORD is Our Shepherd, we shall not want
He leadeth us to green pastures, and He leadeth us to lie beside still waters
And though we walketh the valley of the Shadow of Death, we shall not fear
For His rod and His staff, they comforteth us.

O LORD, O Father in Heaven, God of Mercies who comforts us in all of our tribulations, let your love and grace, and the power of Your Holy Spirit, and Your Holy presence, be with GMRELIC, in this time of pain and suffering, let Your strength be with Him and in Him, let Your Word comfort him and guide him, and let Our LORD direct GMRELIC's paths and take away all the burden of this earthly world from his shoulders for it is too great for him O LORD. O Heavenly Father, We just want to ask of this in the name of Our LORD and Saviour Christ Jesus, Amen!

 

[songz777]

Hello my friend,
How tough it must be for you, all I can say that the bible says "I AM the LORD who HEALS you" Believe that promise first of all.
2. Psalm 40: I WAITED patiently for the Lord and He HEARD me" He gave me a NEW SONG!! Believe that God will bring you a new joy!!
3. Let this terrible pain bring you into a far more precious realtionship with Him that never wouldh vae happended if not for this tragety.
4. Ask God to make lots of good come from this deep sadness, and that through it also you may be a great help to other people.
God will HEAl and COMFORT you.. but you need to fully accept what has happened, and not expect God to give you all the answers.
Try not to blame Him as Im tempted to do in my sorrows, but like Job who lost His WIFE, all his Kids.. His wealth and animals ... he came to God and said "The Lord gave and the Lord took away, BLESSED be the Lord" Job worshipped God.
Take care my friend ... brighter days will soon come.. fm John

 

[pete56]

GM, What you are experiencing is completely normal, death breaks in on our lives and upsets our expectations.

Burying a child is particularly difficult and the seeking for a sign that your loved one is okay is very common. I remember straining for just such a sign when I found God after the death of my son, and again ten years later when my Father died.

There is no trite answer that will assuage your grief. I know that God is hurting for you too.

I can only advise that you need to hold closely to your family and your faith. Your daughter needs to know that it is okay to hurt, so don't try to be strong for her, be real, you hurt, so cry; when you are angry at God, tell Him, He is a big God and He can take it! But always be honest with those you love, tell them why you need to do things, how you are feeling and above all take your time! Grief is not a journey that works to a set timetable or in any set order, it is a personal journey.

I pray that you will know the reassuring presence of God's Holy Spirit as you travel this dark and stony path and I pray that you will find answers and strength for the future. May God bless and keep you, sister.

Yours in Him

Pete

 

[TexasGirl]

I just passed my son's 10th anv. of his birth and death. It was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. The pain in aweful. God was there for me and he is there for you too. The years will go by and the pain of hurt will be there..some days you will miss him more than others..but God is there..because he is with God. After years have passed the pain will still be there you will learn to cope with it better..My daughter who is 17 just lost 2 freinds in a car accident..when we were are the funeral the pastor talked to the parents in his sermon..I know the pain that they are going through and it is the worse of hurts..but I wish I could get my hands on that sermon it was wonderful comfort. but he said do not look at it as the days that you and your son are apart but look at it as everyday is a day closure that you are together again in Heaven.


Texas Girl
AKA(CARLA)