Mental Struggle

[anonone]

I have been diagnosed with a Anxious Aviodant Personallity Disorder, that was about four years ago and it is final according to the doctors that I have seen over the years.

I am 30 at the moment and I have had this problem when I was 14, before that I was a very outgoing person that played football a lot and went out partying with my mates. I can really understand why this is happened it may be cause of the hash "dope" "ganga" that I was takeing at that time I dont know, but I do know that before that I was a happy person.

Since about 14 I tottaly withdrew from the world and fealt everyone was out to get me, and was detached from reality, my thoughts were full of paranioa and fear. At 18 I was put in to hospital suffering from some very nasty delusions that scared me very much, I was put on medacation and stayed in hospital for a few months, when I was a little better they let me out.

I was told I was suffering from a phycosis at the time in hospital, probly due to many years of anxiety, fear and paranioa and isolation.

In hospital I met a very lovely Nun who spoke to me about The Lord, at that time I fealt Jesus with me and I became a Christian, well I belived in Jesus would be a better word rather than call myself a Christain. You could call me a born agian, as my family didnt go to church it wasnt something that was put on me or I was made to do, it is something that I chossed or rather I was chossen for.

To cut a long story short, since then I have moved a long a little but I still suffer, anxiety,paranioa,depression, bad thoughts. I cant really hold down a full time job I have been asked to leave my last two jobs, well I have been bullied out of them, mostly cause of my mental heath problems and that I dont say much just do the job.

I am back on anti deperssion medication at the moment as I feel really down that I can hold down a job and I am very isolated and I have stoped going to Church, I only started going a few months ago but found it very unwelcomeing, I dont know if I will go back there seems to be the same looking down on me cause of mental health as in the work places I have worked.

I dont really know what happens from here, I seem to be going nowhere really fast. I dont think I could handel trying another job I applyed for one a few weeks ago and got it, but I dont want to mess it up so I turned it down out of fear of failing like in the last ones. Its a bad way to think but its also faceing some of the facts as well.

If I can be healed it would be so much easyer, I have prayed for years to be healed but I dont pray for that anymore I only pray for the Lord to do his will, thats all I can asked for now.

Falling short of the mark makes me think that my lack of faith is at fault, my sins are so great thats why I am ill and why I am not healed. The coldness of Church and not being a good member of the Church is heavey on my mind, as is not haveing a job and getting ahead in life.

I just dont seem to have any purpose, I am looking for the correct way to do things but everything gets messed up cause of my mental health problems I feal myself fadeing away without haveing done anything in my life and never been given a hope cause of this affiction.

 

[TruthSetsYouFree]

Ahhh, for some reason this message was posted before I was ready! See my new message below!

 

[suzybeezy]

I'm not sure where you are from, but if you are from the U.S., you could file for SSI and take the pressure off of the job situation. At least then you could focus on time to heal a bit more mentally. It doesn't have to be forever, generally speaking SSI mental claims are to be reviewed periodically. My best friend has a lot (seriously alot) of mental issues and was recently approved for SSI. It was such a relief for her because she could never hold down a job. She' so much more relaxed now and is more focuse on her recovery. She is reguarly taking her medication and regularly attending therapy sessions. She even just recently started attending church. So maybe if it's possible to pursue relieving some of the outside pressures, you should, so you could give yourself some room to focus of your recovery.

 

[TruthSetsYouFree]

I have been diagnosed with a Anxious Aviodant Personallity Disorder, that was about four years ago and it is final according to the doctors that I have seen over the years.

I am 30 at the moment and I have had this problem when I was 14, before that I was a very outgoing person that played football a lot and went out partying with my mates. I can really understand why this is happened it may be cause of the hash "dope" "ganga" that I was takeing at that time I dont know, but I do know that before that I was a happy person.

Since about 14 I tottaly withdrew from the world and fealt everyone was out to get me, and was detached from reality, my thoughts were full of paranioa and fear. At 18 I was put in to hospital suffering from some very nasty delusions that scared me very much, I was put on medacation and stayed in hospital for a few months, when I was a little better they let me out.

I was told I was suffering from a phycosis at the time in hospital, probly due to many years of anxiety, fear and paranioa and isolation.

In hospital I met a very lovely Nun who spoke to me about The Lord, at that time I fealt Jesus with me and I became a Christian, well I belived in Jesus would be a better word rather than call myself a Christain. You could call me a born agian, as my family didnt go to church it wasnt something that was put on me or I was made to do, it is something that I chossed or rather I was chossen for.

To cut a long story short, since then I have moved a long a little but I still suffer, anxiety,paranioa,depression, bad thoughts. I cant really hold down a full time job I have been asked to leave my last two jobs, well I have been bullied out of them, mostly cause of my mental heath problems and that I dont say much just do the job.

I am back on anti deperssion medication at the moment as I feel really down that I can hold down a job and I am very isolated and I have stoped going to Church, I only started going a few months ago but found it very unwelcomeing, I dont know if I will go back there seems to be the same looking down on me cause of mental health as in the work places I have worked.

I dont really know what happens from here, I seem to be going nowhere really fast. I dont think I could handel trying another job I applyed for one a few weeks ago and got it, but I dont want to mess it up so I turned it down out of fear of failing like in the last ones. Its a bad way to think but its also faceing some of the facts as well.

If I can be healed it would be so much easyer, I have prayed for years to be healed but I dont pray for that anymore I only pray for the Lord to do his will, thats all I can asked for now.

Falling short of the mark makes me think that my lack of faith is at fault, my sins are so great thats why I am ill and why I am not healed. The coldness of Church and not being a good member of the Church is heavey on my mind, as is not haveing a job and getting ahead in life.

I just dont seem to have any purpose, I am looking for the correct way to do things but everything gets messed up cause of my mental health problems I feal myself fadeing away without haveing done anything in my life and never been given a hope cause of this affiction.

Hey Brother,

I read you loud and clear!! You NEEEEEEEED to read a book titled The Bondage Breaker by Neil T. Anderson!!!!! It will change the way you see things, and I have NO doubt that it will change your life!!! You need to be set free, and healed, and this book will show a lot of things that you badly need to know, and it will set you on the path to your complete freedom!!! This book is very Bible based, so you won't be getting a load of theories. IT IS GOD'S WILL THAT YOU BE MADE WHOLE!!!!!!

I've been through the ropes, and I understand what you're going through. Trust me, you NEED to read that book, it changed my outlook and helped me out a LOT! It will do the same for you!! You can take all the meds in the world, and talk to a hundred therapists, and they can't offer you TRUE healing. This book will educate you quickly on how these problems come into existence, how to get to the ROOT of the problem and how to break free!!! The only way that your going to experience complete healing and freedom is by treating the root of the problem, not the symptoms!! That is why meds and therapist fall so short in so many situations like this.

In Christ,
Bobby

 

[Godsgirl481]

You like that book don't you - Sorry I have responded yet Truth - pondering over it right now

 

[TheMainException]

My friend...dear, dear friend...you and I, and the many others who deal with depression, anxiety, psychosis, paranoia, etc....we are called to help one another. Through our disabilitating problems (at times) that can be many and large...we can witness to others and help them in many ways. I many times wonder if I have not suffered enough to relate to others and help them through their pain...yet for some reason I still must suffer. One of the greatest things is to pray with someone else. When I feel really down, I call up my youth pastor and he prays over the phone for me. It takes the pressure off of me and now it is no longer a matter of how much faith that I have and whether or not God will answer my prayer based on my faith, when really...it's that pressure that keeps the depression and anxiety on me....but when he prays for me....I am free of that and feel better afterwards. God answering personal prayers is NOT a matter of how much faith you have. It is about the fact that you are honest, that you humbly lift up your prayer to the Lord, thanking him for it and knowing that he WILL bring you the peace that you so desire....IN HIS TIME...now, that's something that I find hardest to deal with...."in his time" that could be years...I could be in my 30's by that time....but I will know much more and cope much better by that time....if I keep trying and keep praying and learning through the lessons He teaches me along the way. I can't say, this is horrid, that's it... I quit! If you stop when it feels God isn't there...you won't get anywhere...sometimes, even though God is there....he isn't carrying us at the moment...he merely ready to catch us if and when we fall...but he does want us to learn to walk on our own...and if you do fall...he will pick us up and clean our wounds...he will make the pain go away before long...and things will brighten...but sometimes we must struggle and go through hard times in order to grow in our relationships and such. We can simply be carried through life...that would be too easy...we need to have faith by knowing that when we fall...he'll be there and we won't be hurt by Satan more than a little.....It's a hard thing to rely on something you can't see....but he will always be there...ready to catch us...to pick us up...to wipe away our tears and hug us close. We are important to us...no matter what happens...he is near by and loves us the same everyday...with a perfect unfailing love that goes on forever...keep seeking him my friend...do not let Satan drag you down...you are tougher than that...God is on your side...I know you can make it...please, please...PM me if you want to talk more...I've had and still am dealing with anxiety and depression that makes me want to hide when I go to church and have to be involved at times. i understand how painful it can be. But you are beloved child of the father...you are important to him...don't run and hide even when the fear is so great, keep going, take jobs and keep trying...eventually, things will work out for you...learn to cope and love like no one around you has ever know. My love to you friend....Lauren

 

[madison1101]

I have not heard of Anxious Avoidant Personality disorder. From looking at the internet, it looks like it is a diagnosis not used a lot in the US. I don't believe it is in the DSM-IV.

The book "Bondage Breaker" is a great resource for working on learning your identiy in Christ, and the power of God in helping us deal with spiritual warfare. I highly recommend it.

Anyway, from what I see, you would probably benefit from cognitive behavioral therapy. I have been in therapy for fifteen years, being diagnosed with a different personality disorder. I am also in school studying therapy and learning to use cognitive behavioral therapy with people diagnosed with schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder.

I know you are frustrated and concerned. Mental illness is very discouraging. But, understand that it is not the end of the world. I have learned to read the Psalms and see how David was in the pits of despair many times, and how he was able to praise the Lord through it all.

 

[ysl_75]

I believed that God will heal you if you give Him chance. You can do it! Trust in Him!

 

[TruthSetsYouFree]

You like that book don't you - Sorry I have responded yet Truth - pondering over it right now

Absolutely Bams! I've read a lot of books on the topics of spiritual freedom, victory in Jesus, spiritual warfare, deliverance, etc. and this book is one of my favorite ones to recommend for anybody who is new to solving problems that are rooted in the spiritual realm (including depression, fears, etc.). I've been recommending it for a while now to friends, relatives and strangers, and have been getting a lot of positive feedback!

A close friend of mine didn't want to even hear the word 'deliverance,' but once she read this book, she understands her position in Christ, and this topic doesn't bother her anymore. As a matter of fact, she's hungry to read even more books on the subject! She loves it!! She is MUCH more confidant, and no longer cringes when I talk about the enemy. The Truth is what sets people free, and this book is packed with bondage breaking truths!!

I've been through a lot myself, and this book came highly recommended to me. I was at a point where I was bombed with compulsive thoughts, feelings and even desires that were completely opposite of the 'real me,' and I felt emotionally 'dead' at times, the enemy was working on me, trying to make me feel like I was hopeless and on my way to hell. I could have watched a close friend or relative killed before my eyes and felt no emotion over it. That was NOT like me AT ALL!! I knew the problem was rooted in the spiritual realm, so I didn't even consider going to a therapist (which could have NEVER helped me - he would have needed a therapist for himself by the time I'd be done telling him all of what was going on ). Once I latched onto the truth, and learned what was really going on under the surface, I was finally able to get some REAL relief! I've learned that problems like depression and deep fears are almost always rooted in the spiritual realm, and until you get to the root of the problem, you can't expect to experience complete victory. Meds and therapists most of the time will only treat the symptoms, if the root remains, it's going to keep popping up and the problem will never truly go away. That's why I recommend this book so much, because it deals right with the root of the problem! The results are REAL and lasting when you treat the root!

In Christ,
Bobby

 

[anonone]

Thank you all for your prayers, understanding and advice.

From reading the replys and other threads in the forum I understand that a lot of other Christians have been through similar problems and some still are.

I belive a strong fellowship with other's that have a understanding of the mental/spiritual problems that can affect someone is of great benifit in the healing journey.

I will pray that the Lord guides me to find such fellowship in my community, at the moment at my present church I dont think I have that if I have to go and seek elsewere then I pray the Lord guides me even if it is at my present church or another place.

Thanks for the information on the book The Bondage Breaker.

Again I thankyou all for your understanding. And I thank God for everything I am and everthing you all are in Jesus Christ.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

God loves you. He's not going to think less of you because of your issues.
You've begun a journey with him. Focus on that journey through life. Focus on building a relationship with him and learning his word. Will it make everything all better? Maybe or maybe not. But it'll get you through and you will be the better for it. You will learn to shine in spite of your damage.

Curious if there is any event associated with your problems.