Making Friends As An Adult

[JE5USFRE4K]

Hey Mrs. Awesome,
This sounds exactly like what my wife went through the first few years of our life together. You see, for starters I have a really big mouth and talk to everyone. She is somewhat reserved. That was a huge deal when it came to meeting people and making new friends. Back before children (we call it b.c.,) we led a different lifestyle so the friends she had then had trouble adjusting. They eventually grew apart. They still love each other and talk occasionally but she needed much more. Due to the fact that she is a stay at home mom, she would get soooo stifled. Here is what we did:

* For starters I started inviting couples from work to have dinner with us. Going out to eat seemed to work best in the beginning.
* We got connected a a local church (couples classes were great)
* Helping at events.
* Visiting other churches was great too.

All of this took time though as she was adjusting to being out of her comfort zone. Mrs. Awesome this was very hard on her for a while. I work every day so i could never understand the depth of her longing to have some sort of companionship outside of my own. However with prayer and perseverance she has become much bolder and is starting to make new friends. Oh yeah, reaching out to her in-laws helped as well. I just want to say dont you ever give up and I am praying now that God will lead you to the perfect pal and give you peace.

P.S. I should also mention that too much social media made matters worse for a bit.

I hope this helps.

 

[Luke17:37]

Friends are a weird thing. Growing up I usually only had one or two at a time. 20s the same. Now in my 30's I make them relatively easy and they just pop up out of the blue without effort. It's one of those things that seems to happen by chance half the time.

I do agree seeking out hobby groups can help though.

My life sounds similar (0, 1 or 2 friends growing up, and in my 20s, but many friends now). However, I have friends of different levels. I guess maybe I could say that I am friendly but not close with many people. Only in the last year have I made some precious girlfriends with whom I can regularly hang out with, discuss theology, study the Bible, pray, sing, eat, and be transparent. I thank God so much for them. This is a precious gift.

 

[JCFantasy23]

My life sounds similar (0, 1 or 2 friends growing up, and in my 20s, but many friends now). However, I have friends of different levels. I guess maybe I could say that I am friendly but not close with many people. Only in the last year have I made some precious girlfriends with whom I can regularly hang out with, discuss theology, study the Bible, pray, sing, eat, and be transparent. I thank God so much for them. This is a precious gift.

Yes, friends are certainly blessings, as are family members people are close to. I value the people in my life and try not to lose focus of that. Being human, I sometimes do

 

[anewday]

Ah, I feel your pain. I had a ton of friends in my 20s, a little less in my early 30s, and now few friends. My husband is happy just hanging out with me most of the time but I need female companionship. I recently joined a women's group at church. My hubby and I hang out with friends every now and then. Being married caused a change in my relationships too, which has been hard, but its getting better. Definitely pray about it, don't try too hard to make friends (past experience taught me not to do this) and keep an open mind about social opportunities .

 

[JAM2b]

It sounds to me like you are wanting a "perfect match" friendship. They are rare. Everyone involved in a friendship, liberal or conservative, Christian or not, parents or not, needs to be respectful and accepting of differences, or a meaningful friendship isn't going to happen. Unconditional love is the key, not good matching. I think you are too focused on other people's choices, attitudes, opinions, and compatibility (both real and perceived). There are people who are different from you, or at least not 100% compatible, that can be accepting and respectful. If you haven't met them, then you haven't met enough people yet.

To reiterate the obvious, you won't have a good selection of people to get to know if you don't get out and be with people. Join a club, get to know your neighbors, organize a get together, go to the same places you like consistently, talk to people you come across on a regular basis, or join a political, social action, or charity group. One thing this word doesn't struggle with is a lack of people.

If you aren't meeting people who can be potential friends, then it means you aren't getting out there, or your criteria for who is a potential friend is too narrow.