Letting judgmental people get to me

[freedom4all]

This is something that I've never understood, and I don't go to church because of it. I am a Christian, and I notice that other Christians are so judgemental. I don't know if that is something that Satan is using to discourage me, or if that is a trap that those people are falling into. It's always like "I'm not trying to judge you BUT..." And then they proceed to do just that very thing! What is up with that? One thing that is important for Christians to remember is that no one is better than anyone else, and just because I don't wear long dresses and what not does not mean that I am immoral or materialistic or whatever. It really makes me upset!

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

Try not to let it upset you so. I understand exactly what you're talking about. You face it everywhere--even on this boards. I think we must learn to turn everything over to God when this happens. I go to Him and pray about it and pray for that person who says these things. I think we have to try not to take things so personally. I know, at least for myself, this is true.

 

[chickenfeet]

i know how ya feel..

sadly, you'll run into many judgemental people. even on this very site. whats even more disgusting, is they talk the walk, but don't walk it.

you're right...its very discouraging. i've often questioned the existance of God because of this. but its not God who sucks.. His followers do, however.

try and let it go in one ear and out the other.
easier said then done.. this i know.

One thing that is important for Christians to remember is that no one is better than anyone else

good point.

sounds like u already got a good head on your shoulders.
don't let anyone else shake that.

 

[Deamiter]

It's CERTAINLY a problem! I've found that in MANY churches, people find those that they are most like, and tend to ostrasize those that don't fit in (like me). What I suggest is that you go church shopping. A good sign that a church community will accept you is if there are people from all areas of life -- the businessman and the reformed prostitute. Often a larger church will be better with this, but not always. Sometimes you can find a community WITHIN a large church that is perfect for you, but a service at a different location is better.

Yeah, people are hypocritical. In America, we don't have anything weeding out those that just pretend out of convenience. Our religious freedom has made many (certainly including me!) really soft. Sometimes I wish I could have been born under a dictator just so I would know how not to take our freedom for granted -- then I thank God I wasn't.

 

[but'n'ben]

It's amazing how many church going Christians are worse than people who don't bother with God. They preach the word but live life their own way. I know a 'good christain' woman who cleans old people's houses but will tell anyone and anyone how messy thouse was/the business of the peron they were visiting/what letters were lying around/what the letters said/the problems of the people they 'help'....the list goes on.

 

[SuzQ]

A famous quote goes:

"The single leading cause of athiesm today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, but the walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyles. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable".

I've only been a Christian for 3 1/2 years. As a newer, "gungho" Christian, I started out with the best intentions with others & realized I had turned into one of those judgemental folks that pushed people away!!

One of the biggest things I've learned to recognize about myself in my walk with Jesus came from something I had remembered when I was a "Job's Daughter" as a teenager (a non-denominational girl's organization that stems from the fraternal Master Masons. My parents encouraged me to join, etc.). One of the lessons I learned came from a passage I had memorized about Job. It had no deep meaning for me until I became born-again as an adult. Whenever I feel tempted to say the wrong thing to others, I catch myself and remember God saying to Job:

"WHO IS THIS THAT DARKENS MY COUNSEL WITH WORDS WITHOUT KNOWLEDGE??!!"

"Yipes! Sorry, Lord!!", says me!

Forgive the "judgemental" person (sometimes they have well-meaning intentions, just dumb ways of saying it!) & simply pray for them to seek the Holy Spirit before opening their mouths. Jesus constantly reminds us through the scriptures to FORGIVE, FORGIVE, FORGIVE. It is in this forgiveness that we set OURSELVES FREE from feeling "down" or defeated, as human nature has us do a lot. LOL! Even if we have accepted Christ as our Savior, we still need to remember to continue to invite the Holy Spirit in our hearts/minds BEFORE we say or do things that affect our lives, and those around us. This Holy Counselor was our gift from Jesus before ascending to Heaven to help us until He returns for us. What a magnificent gift! We just need to remember to use it!

 

[TheThirdLink]

Yes. Sometimes, "judgmental" peopel are just trying to help. And sometimes Scriptural criticism will help people...actually, it always will., It's just the personal criticism that is bad, because everyone is theirself how God made them! So personal criticism isn't always good.

Yeah, I know what you mean. At my church, I've been left behind. My youth group doensn't like me. Says I'm too into the Bible and old-fashioned.

My pastor taught me to always preach the Word to others and live by it the best I could. And to forgive myself and others when they stumble. That's right. We're all human.

 

[TheThirdLink]

Take care ya'll!

 

[desi]

This is something that I've never understood, and I don't go to church because of it. I am a Christian, and I notice that other Christians are so judgemental. I don't know if that is something that Satan is using to discourage me, or if that is a trap that those people are falling into. It's always like "I'm not trying to judge you BUT..." And then they proceed to do just that very thing! What is up with that? One thing that is important for Christians to remember is that no one is better than anyone else, and just because I don't wear long dresses and what not does not mean that I am immoral or materialistic or whatever. It really makes me upset!

If Christian people keep judging you perhaps you are doing something worth reconsidering?

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

If Christian people keep judging you perhaps you are doing something worth reconsidering?

Desi, but do they have the authority to judge? Let me refer you to Matthew 7 1:6 :

Matthew 7

Judging Others

1"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
6"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces.

 

[TheMainException]

Yeah...Christians think that they can judge the world..I've fallen to that many times...it's actually both, a trap they fell into and something Satan is trying to discourage you with. I will pray for this continually.

 

[desi]

Yeah...Christians think that they can judge the world..I've fallen to that many times...it's actually both, a trap they fell into and something Satan is trying to discourage you with. I will pray for this continually.

We are to judge as we are to be judged aka 'don't be a hypocrite'. If Christians consistently judge you they must see something which doesn't look quite right. To totally discount them is perhaps one of Satan's traps.

 

[desi]

Desi, but do they have the authority to judge? Let me refer you to Matthew 7 1:6 :

Matthew 7

Judging Others

1"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
3"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
6"Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces.

Its all here Caelda. We must make sure we are right with God so that we can assume to correct others. Its like Sergeants and Corporals who walk the walk and talk the talk versus the other type...

 

[freedom4all]

If Christian people keep judging you perhaps you are doing something worth reconsidering?

What I mean is that some people think that the way they are doing things and living their life is the way that all people should. Specifically, that all women should wear long dresses and cover their hair daily and not wear make up, etc. I don’t do those things, so I am accused of being materialistic and trying to get attention. I dress like a normal person, not a hooker. I am not trying to get attention, I am too busy to even care about men at the moment. I am hardly materialistic, as I have no jewelry or any money to buy lots of expensive clothes. I don’t judge people who dress really conservative, I could care less. I don’t tell them they are wrong, either. I don’t feel a need to dress Amish-like, and I have not felt a calling from God that I need to.

 

[desi]

It sounds like you don't care for the way they think about how you present yourself to others. Some groups wear more or less clothes, piercings, colorful hair, jewelry etc than others. To fit in you dress alike, or you don't. In the Marine Corps it was typical for fellows to be scolded for not having a fresh haircut on Monday, whether they really needed it or not 'high and tight' was the dress code and if you didn't have one you got one, one way or another. Its not always fair to judge others by such standards but it does create standards which aren't all bad.

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

We are to judge as we are to be judged aka 'don't be a hypocrite'. If Christians consistently judge you they must see something which doesn't look quite right. To totally discount them is perhaps one of Satan's traps.

Where do you get that we are suppose to judge others? Is there scripture behind this? I haven't read the entire bible yet as I'm studying in book by book . . . so there may be something that I haven't had my eyes opened to yet . . .

Now, I agree that we should try not to lead others to temptation or lead them into doing things that are not Godly, but unless I have scripture to back it up, I do not believe that we are to judge others. Period. I'm under the assumption that that's God's job.

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

In the Marine Corps it was typical for fellows to be scolded for not having a fresh haircut on Monday, whether they really needed it or not 'high and tight' was the dress code and if you didn't have one you got one, one way or another. Its not always fair to judge others by such standards but it does create standards which aren't all bad.

And the Marine Corps isn't for everyone. Maybe to Marines that even though their haircut is within regs, they still get chewed out is okay, but it's not for everyone. The military and a church setting are two totally opposites when it comes to environment and settings. Of course, the military is strict in its ways and rightly so. I believe that a church must be strict on following God's words--no their own. I think if you're being led in an opposite direction, then perhaps, F4A, you need to search for a different church to worship in.

 

[desi]

Where do you get that we are suppose to judge others? Is there scripture behind this? I haven't read the entire bible yet as I'm studying in book by book . . . so there may be something that I haven't had my eyes opened to yet . . .

Now, I agree that we should try not to lead others to temptation or lead them into doing things that are not Godly, but unless I have scripture to back it up, I do not believe that we are to judge others. Period. I'm under the assumption that that's God's job.

There's Jesus's example where he scolds hypocrites and Corinthians where one disciple or another tells the church to 'kick out' people who are knowingly actively sinning. This "Do not judge"... anyone for anything under any circumstances at all is a recent phenomenon used by media and civil rights lawyers to dilute Christian authority in society and usher in gayness and divorce.

 

[MrsGnomeCrusher]

There's Jesus's example where he scolds hypocrites and Corinthians where one disciple or another tells the church to 'kick out' people who are knowingly actively sinning. This "Do not judge"... anyone for anything under any circumstances at all is a recent phenomenon used by media and civil rights lawyers to dilute Christian authority in society and usher in gayness and divorce.

Can you give be specific references in the bible of this example? I'd like to read them in their context.

As for the second comment, I think the total opposite comes out of the media and lawyers.