To me, it's an interesting topic, but unfortunately it's fraught with (and has been overtaken by) people's political agendas. On one side you have the "Christians" with their treatment of gays as if they're the penultimate sinners, with their talk of "lifestyle choices", repairative therapies, etc...all of which are destructive and can be ruinous on people's lives. This side WANTS to treat it like a choice for their own political ends/reasons.
On the other side - defending themselves - you have the group that WANTS it to be hardwired. After all - if it's hardwired - then the other side needs to shut up about it. God doesn't make mistakes, ya know, and they were wired that way.
My stance is - it's nobody's business what consenting people of legal age do with themselves and God has far bigger things to worry about than how people choose to rub their pink bits. But - unfortunately it can't be that way - so both sides latch to the "truth" that they want to.
Personally, I don't think it's either one. I think there may be genetic components to it, predispositions, etc...but I also believe that most things in life are the consequence of individual evolution. We are the summation of our experiences, each building upon the last. Kind of like the "moth beats it's wings over here, consequently there's a hurricane in China" type of thing. Life is nothing but one giant butterfly effect.
I do think there was a time when I was no-sexual-orientation. I don't think I was straight out of the womb. I don't think I was "straight" when I was toddling around for the first time. I don't think I was "straight" when I was learning about magnifying glasses and ants at 4 years old. Sexual orientation and everything involved was the furthest thing from my reality. I wasn't looking around and thinking "Let's fry that ant" - and then contemplating what some burgeoning desire to look at boobs was. That didn't come until later. So, I think there was a portion of my life where I was utterly asexual/void of sexual orientation.
To that end - I think often sexual orientation probably is a culmination of experiences leading to self perception that is near impossible to change once set. It's part of their identity. But - that doesn't change the fact that at some point I think it's malleable and undefined...and I wonder if it can be influenced.
I suppose you could go into the argument "Ought you try and influence it" - which I agree can be dangerous...because often people are emotionally tied to the outcome and it can become a destructive thing. That's a worthwhile discussion to be had. But my point of view is more along the lines of "Both are okay, although I do have a preference all else being equal." Meaning - I wouldn't love the child any less, or subject them to any sort of trauma, but if God were to give me a scantron and say "Pick A for hetero, pick B for gay", I'd pick A/hetero 10 times out of 10, once again, all else being equal.
Back to this kid - and the "summation of their experiences" stuff - I think about his growth.
When he was born/a toddler - the parents thought it was cute to let his hair grow and not get it cut until he was 4 years old. At 4, the reason he got it cut was not because the parents thought he ought to, but because he was coming home crying from school every day due to boys telling him that he was a girl.
So I wonder - is it any mystery why he started associating with girls at the start? Boys were unpleasant to be around - and made his life miserable. His having no boys as friends is a conditioned response that began very early - and has built upon itself.
At some point - boys will start questioning whether or not he's gay - and they will make sure he knows it. Girls, in the attempt to engender themselves to those boys will probably question it as well. Being his friends, he will probably be asked to account for those things, and be supported in a friendly way "whatever his decision or inclination is". Most likely those thoughts will be lodged into his head at a malleable age - before one ought contemplate it.
He will think "I am different from other guys", and will weigh those types of things into the equation. I think that's probably where "I knew I was gay since I was 5 years old" comes from. It's not so much sexual orientation -but rather awareness that there was a "difference".
...etc...etc...etc.
I think that's how life compounds upon itself. Does it mean that he will be gay? No. But, I don't think it makes sense to discount those types of environmental evolutionary steps either. Treat someone like he's a jackass from an early enough age, he'll be a jackass. Tell someone they're worthless from a young enough age, they'll believe they're worthless. Tell someone they're great from an early age, they'll believe they're great. Treat someone as you'd like them to be, and that's what they'll become.
Ya know?
