Is the use of an IUD wrong? My doctor says I have a high chance of death if I get pregnant.

[Brittany Corrigan]

My husband and I have been faced with a very difficult issue. I was diagnosed with a rare (1 in 10,000) blood disorder called Thrombotic thrombocytopenic purpura (TTP). If I were to get pregnant, I have a high chance of going into DIC, along with many other horrible possibilities. Meaning, the baby and I have a VERY high risk of death.

My husband and I would LOVE to have children. Our plan when we got married was to give God the reins. I even got my mirena removed 3 months before our marriage (we struggled with the sin of pre-marital sex for 6 years before our marriage).

We never really thought too deeply into our birth control option as I am not allowed to take any estrogen because I also have Lupus and high risk of clotting. My options were the depo shot, mirena, or abstinence (or I guess pulling out/condom--BUT WHO WANTS TO DO THAT!? We are married and want to enjoy the gift God gave us).

God has recently revealed to us the burden the mirena puts on His heart. After more research, we found that if I am getting my cycle (which happens once in a while, but not all the time), then I am ovulating, and if I am ovulating, fertilization can take place, in which we are having abortions).

We are now pondering what to do?
-Use no birth control and trust God with possibly taking my life and a babies life?
-Use a different form a birth control
-Pull out/condom method for the rest of our lives?

HELP!! I feel like if I truly put all my faith in Jesus I would choose option 1, but I don't want to be ignorant. God gave us sex to be enjoyed and to bring us closer together in marriage and I don't want either of us to suffer because of my health.

 

[ValleyGal]

birth control is not a sin. Why not think about more permanent solutions like tubal ligation or vasectomy? Then you don't have to worry about pregnancy, and you can enjoy sex.

Also, if you want children, you could see if you can use your eggs and have a surrogate carry your (and your husband's) baby?

 

[LabradorianSavedbyGrace]

Hi , I am so sorry for this type of pain. I can't imagine wanting children and then faced with the risk of death if you were to get pregnant. I would spend more time in prayer and if your decision is to not have children (which God may have other plans for you) than would you or your husband consider being sterilized? Then you have no need to worry about birth control and no worries about birth control failing (because it can and do). I'll keep you in my prayers.

 

[JackRT]

birth control is not a sin. Why not think about more permanent solutions like tubal ligation or vasectomy? Then you don't have to worry about pregnancy, and you can enjoy sex.

Also, if you want children, you could see if you can use your eggs and have a surrogate carry your (and your husband's) baby?

Excellent options.

 

[johndoo]

In ethics, there is the rule of double effect.
This means that what is important is what the purpose is.
The purpose supersedes the possible unintended consequences.
The purpose is to save your life.
This supersedes the rare chance you are not allowing a fertilized egg to implant.
Furthermore, you and the fetus may die together in the pregnancy due to your complicated medical conditions.

Please don't count on the withdrawl method for birth control.
Are you familiar with the e-sure coils?

 

[Winken]

My husband and I have been faced with a very difficult issue. I was diagnosed with a rare (1 in 10,000) blood disorder called Thrombotic thrombocytopenic purpura (TTP). If I were to get pregnant, I have a high chance of going into DIC, along with many other horrible possibilities. Meaning, the baby and I have a VERY high risk of death.

My husband and I would LOVE to have children. Our plan when we got married was to give God the reins. I even got my mirena removed 3 months before our marriage (we struggled with the sin of pre-marital sex for 6 years before our marriage).

We never really thought too deeply into our birth control option as I am not allowed to take any estrogen because I also have Lupus and high risk of clotting. My options were the depo shot, mirena, or abstinence (or I guess pulling out/condom--BUT WHO WANTS TO DO THAT!? We are married and want to enjoy the gift God gave us).

God has recently revealed to us the burden the mirena puts on His heart. After more research, we found that if I am getting my cycle (which happens once in a while, but not all the time), then I am ovulating, and if I am ovulating, fertilization can take place, in which we are having abortions).

We are now pondering what to do?
-Use no birth control and trust God with possibly taking my life and a babies life?
-Use a different form a birth control
-Pull out/condom method for the rest of our lives?

HELP!! I feel like if I truly put all my faith in Jesus I would choose option 1, but I don't want to be ignorant. God gave us sex to be enjoyed and to bring us closer together in marriage and I don't want either of us to suffer because of my health.

Vasectomy?

 

[Odetta]

If pregnancy is a permanently not an option for you, and you want to make sure you don't get pregnant, sterilization seems to make sense to me. If it were me, I'd choose to have it myself, as I'm the one that has the danger. The E coil thingy may be an option - as I understand it, it blocks the tubes so that sperm and egg can't meet, but it doesn't involve surgery like tubal ligation. Your doctor can give you all the details.

If you don't want to do anything permanent, condoms seems to be your best bet. There is also a thing where you chart your fertility and abstain during fertile periods. There is a book that goes into incredible detail about it - Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It covers how to use the technique to both get pregnant and to not get pregnant. The book also includes paper charts, but I'm guessing there's an app for that these days.

In terms of finding a way to bring children into your lives, surrogacy as mentioned above is an option if you want to have a biological child. You may also want to consider fostering or adopting. I have several friends to have done either or both, and it has been such a blessing for them and for their children.

 

[98cwitr]

Is there something wrong with adopting? A vasectomy is a definite option, but even with my wife on birth control I pull out. When my wife and I ready, we will try for kids...it's all in God's hands anyway...so why tempt Him?

 

[DZoolander]

I vote for a vasectomy as well

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

While theres nothing wrong with praying to God you don't die during childbirth, God still gave us the ability to decide what is best. For example I wouldn't go skydiving out of a airplane and pray he saves my life. Likewise your condition is deadly. I knew someone with it too. She had her tubes tied despite the pain of knowing they couldn't have a child. But good news is there is more then one way to have a baby. Such as adoption. Or the other method (forgot its name, invetro?) where they take his sperm and another woman has the baby. Granted that is kind of creepy. But at least its an option.

As for being safe, again sterilization is the best. Honestly pulling out isn't all that great. Sometimes sperm releases a little but before the "moment" happens and thats how accident happen. Err... not that having a baby is an accident of course. But in your case its about life or death of yourself. Condoms aren't that great my wife says. And obviously it doesn't fully feel like the the real thing, no matter what condom you get. But its better then nothing. Though again its not 100% perfect.

What you need to know (many women here can fill you in on the details), its actually better to have him tie his tubes. For a woman its expensive, far more evasive and will mess with your body. And also because of your blood condition, its risky too. And after a few months of him not having sex (or at least condoms...etc) you can have sex without worry without protection. You can enjoy the gift without worry.

 

[Dave-W]

I would suggest either a vasectomy or tubal ligation (or both)

 

[JackRT]

I would suggest either a vasectomy or tubal ligation (or both)

Whatever you do, I believe that your primary concern is for your own life and health.

 

[Observer]

Don't let people, or people's view of bible verses, control decisions that greatly impact your life, your husband's life or the potential life of a fetus.

It's your call, and your call only. You and your husband know what's best for you both.

Some people feel all kinds of medical interventions as a sin. Some people view ANY birth control as a sin. But you are you, nobody else has to be in your shoes.

Look into effectiveness of IUD and their side effects (copper toxicity for copper containing etc) vs. other methods of birth control. Condoms, oral contraceptives are also immediate options. Make an informed decision. Nobody can speak for God but I think we'd all agree he'd want you to have a medical intervention that is life saving. Pulling out has low effectiveness compared to contraception used properly and you can't be expected not to have sex with your husband. As for just taking the chance and using no methods... well there is of course a chance you may not get pregnant but the risk is too high if pregnancy would most likely cause an extreme threat to your health. While faith is important, so is necessary preventative medical treatment.

 

[DZoolander]

Ya know a vasectomy is pretty simple and pretty cheap